“Would you like to dance?” I spoke gently, bent on one knee, “Please?” 1
She smiled lightly, her brown eyes glistening after all the crying. She took hold of my hand and I helped her get up. Moving her hand gracefully through her deep blue dress, she tried to remove the minor wrinkles that form when you sit too long. 2
I walked her to the dance floor. Just like us, a lot of people were busy dancing with their loved ones. A slow song played in the background, slowly and peacefully, adding to the romance in the air. The lights were dim and the mood was perfect. 3
I turned towards her and gave her a flashing smile. She just looked at me. I knew she was trying to smile but really couldn’t. I guess she was aware of the fact that my smile was artificial as well. She could always tell. 4
She came closer to me, placing her right arm on my left shoulder as her left hand took hold of my right hand. I rested my left hand on her waist and we began to move. We moved to the melodious notes of the violin and the piano and all those other classical instruments.5
“Look at me, Vanessa” I broke the silence between us, “Baby, this is fun. Have fun.” 6
“I know; I’m trying but…” She replied not able to finish what she was saying. 7
“Hey, it’s okay. Forget about that” I spoke in a whisper, “Be this the last dance or not, this has been the best one.” 8
She didn’t reply. She just looked at me with her beady eyes that were begging for some hope. It broke my heart to see her like this, but I couldn’t show it. I had to be strong for her. One of us had to be. 9
“So, did you enjoy Westfield High?” I asked, in hopes of changing the subject.10
“…yes, I did. I enjoyed it a lot” She finally smiled a genuine one, “A lot of interesting things happened here, no?” 11
I chuckled. She was right. There were so many memories. So many things happened in the past that I would never forget. Not even if I tried. 12
“Hey…” she spoke suddenly, bringing me out of my thoughts, “Remember the time you got hit by the football? Mr. I-can-be-good-at-sports-too didn’t see it coming, did he?” 13
I raised my eyebrow at her and rolled my eyes. I heard a small giggle escape her rose-bud lips, barely audible in the music. That “had” been a really painful experience. I was trying out for the football team and I guess I wasn’t good enough. I got hit in the face pretty bad. 14
“Hey, I only did it because you said you liked athletic guys” I replied, trying to sound offended. 15
“I know that, baby” She spoke smoothly and kissed me on the cheek, “But had I not said “I heart you” to you like a brazillion times before that?”16
I smiled and placed my forehead on hers. We continued to move to the slow soulful music that was playing in the background. She moved both her arms and placed them on each of shoulders, and I placed both of mine on her waist. I closed my eyes and smiled as I reminisced about the wonderful two years I had spent with Vanessa. 17
Those few minutes that I spent remembering things, were like a life-time. Vanessa and I had done so much in those two years. She knew how to have fun. She always made me laugh. 18
I opened my eyes and moved my hand towards Vanessa’s hair. It was tied together tightly in a bun and I removed the pin holding it together. Instantly, a cascade of brown hair tumbled down Vanessa back. She opened her eyes in a bit of a shock. Realizing it was me who’d done it, she gave me a now-look-what-you-did look.19
“That took me forever to make, dumbass” She whined, making me laugh, “It looked so pretty.”20
“Meh…whatever” I replied with a smirk and began to move my hands through her hair, “You know I like it open.”21
“Do you remember the time I got it cut?” She began to laugh much harder now, “That was an exciting event. I still laugh when I think of the look on your face when you first saw it.” 22
“I completely remember” I replied, still playing with her hair, “You looked so ugly, I don’t know why I didn’t break up with you.”23
She stared at me, her mouth wide open. I tilted my head a little and gave her a cheesy smile, and bent forward for a kiss. She pushed me back a little to make it seem like she was offended. But she was never really good at acting. No matter if it was horror or drama, she always made it look like comedy. 24
“You’re so mean” She tried her best to make me feel bad, “I can’t believe I put with this crap, I can so do better than this.” 25
I immediately grabbed her arm and pulled her towards me. A small gasp escaped from her lips as she was pulled into a huge embrace. She tried to resist first, but then slowly wrapped her arms around me as well. We both stayed like that for the rest of the song, just swaying to the music. Neither of us wanted the song to end. I, for one, wanted that night to stay forever. It was high-school Prom, with Vanessa. No joke. 26
“What time is it?” Vanessa spoke after a long period of silence. 27
I opened my eyes and looked at the clock in the hall. I sighed in disappointment. 28
“It’s eleven thirty, Vanessa please don’t go.” I spoke in a whisper, as I continued to hug her tightly.29
“I have to” she replied as she broke the hug, “My flight for LA leaves in about an hour. I wish someone here who could fix this little problem of mine. But this is such a small town and it has no…I have to go.” 30
“Vanessa…I love you” I spoke, holding her hand while trying to hold in my tears, “and…I’m sorry. I’m sorry for all the times when I should’ve told you that I loved you, but I didn’t.” 31
Not waiting for a reply, I grabbed her arm and pulled her into a kiss. She kissed me back. It felt like one of those fantasy fairytales and all that. Everything felt…magical. We kissed for at least a whole minute before she parted lips and turned again to leave. 32
She had started crying again and this time I couldn’t stop her. She turned around and began to walk away. I watched her walk all the way towards the main door, before she turned back to look at me, tears falling from her big brown beautiful eyes. I knew that she felt as hopeless as I did at that point. 33
One or two tears fell from my eyes as I slowly waved at her. She smiled at me and waved back. I saw her lips move slowly to say “I heart you” as I read them. Before I could do anything she turned again and walked out the door.34
She had to start chemo from monday.35
Author notes
Is love! Is love! All you need is love...tunu nu nu nu nu!!! *dies*
I just wrote it in like half an hour...was listening to Faraway by Nickleback and this just came out on its own. xD xD
A contest entry
- Best Of The Best 2008 ♥ by Missi.
420 points, ended July 8, 2008, 45 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Many Options :D (My First Contest!) by TheFemmeFatale.
130 points, ended July 9, 2008, 18 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Be as critical as you want...just don't destroy me! T_T
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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Wow, that's so sad. :[ I found myself trying to guess the ending and I still didn't get it. Sometimes I can be totally off...
But anyway, very nice writing style, and I love the interaction between the two. Very sweet. You could really feel the love.
Good song, too! Far Away is one of my favorites.
Thanks for entering! -
*gasp* Such a sad endinggggg. *pouts*
But still...this was really great. I love the last line because the emotion really hits home. I also love how the ending wasn't typical or cliche. Incredible job.
Now I shall look at your picture of the pink, purty flowers to cheer myself up. ^_^
-jj
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Very sweet, cute story. Sad, and I felt as if I were the characters, wishing it could be any other way. Nice job!
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wow i like it alot
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This is a tender, moving story. I wasn't quite prepared for the ending. The flow was nice and the characters made me feel familiar, as if I'd lived through the same sort of experiance.
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awwwweeeee saaaad T_T i would be cruuusehd if my lover had to leave like that, i loved it! this was awsomeee!!.. and i luv the name vanessa ! x] great write.. absolutely LUVED it!
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awwww... its so cute and sad.. I loved it. Its sweet and touching but not overly sappy. Great job.
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That was a really good story, i can't wait until you post the next chapter i'm already going crazy with curiousity!!:0D
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Aww...
It's so beautiful... and kinda sad... I love it! It's beautifully written.
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ooh
Your so romantic Aaez...I never knew..lol. This is so good! I love it. At first I thought she was moving or something. But it turned out to be sadder. Is there going to be more? PWEEZ!!!!!!!
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Beautiful, but so sad. I can't say the ending wasn't unexpected...but it did still get me. I thought that this was veryyyyyyy well written and emotional, but the transition is so odd. I mean, it seems like a lovely night until the VERY end.. Maybe the sadness should seep in a little earlier.. That's just me, though. It's perfectly lovely now. ^^
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How sad
I did like this though. It was just so sad that...that...taht she had to leave him!
BUT! I loved it nonetheless!
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AWWWWWH!
jeez Aaez! hoq can i match up to your greatness! I can no longer enter your contest if this is what i find written by YOU! min will look lioke a joke! aaez, aaez...why do you have to be amazing?
This was beautiful, absolutley stunning. wow, just breathless. Poor girl, having to start chemo, but isn't it kemo? ah well whatever. this was brilliant!
Keep on writing, my friend, because you know i'll always ask for more!
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U want critical? i'll GIVE u critical!!
CLIIIIIICHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
crying: dramatic
but story: lovely
the story is nice and very pretty keep it up!!!
oh and ADORABLE -
Cute!
This was adorable. And a rather unexpected and sad ending.
Haha we didnt really have a highschool prom. We had a graduation night, where our parents had to come too, and i remember having to pretend like i didnt know my boyfriend that night incase my parents found out about us
Ah the good ole days.
This was a very touching piece luv, well done
Yrs.
Azaradelle.
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This was really sad.
and beautiful.
Very beautifully wriiten, it was as though I didn't want it to end.
The expressions and feelings were really cool and realistic.
Thank God you didn't tag it adult.
Once again, it was beautiful.
Keep it up!
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This is sad.
It was so beautifully written, I can argue its cutness and emotion, but Really it was more than just a cute as pie story.
This was a story abotu establishing a remationship that by the end of the story lets us know wont be easy, that there is a long journey ahead.
I think you did wonderfully
Blair
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This flows really well, and is described and punctuated pretty well too. I like how you've insinuated her illness in the beginning, and I feel like that could be expressed even more so that the last sentence isn't *so* dramatic and short. Very cute, and it could easily go into your contest. Nice work!
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OOoooo I loved it! It was so emotional! i felt everythhiiinggg. So wonderful! you should write more to this..O.O make it where.. hmmmMMmmm OH i know! they see each other again, BUT one of them are in a new relationship..=O Ooo that would be inteeenssee! lol
I adoooore this story!
Hehe!! ^^ Keep wriiittiiing
~~RObeeens
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wow...That is soo sweet! and so sad...
great work Aaez!
cheers
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Wow...Kinda sounds like my poem The last waltz XD
Anyway I liked it Aaez...I can't say allot about...Love and romance right now...sorry.
Broken hearted, Wisher,
XxAlexisxX
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ow wow... this was... beautiful. I loved every single part of it. the ending is sad yet magical. I was entranced from the very freaking beginning. amazingly great job! I'm amazed at how short yet how wmotion filled it is! you have an amazing talent for writing! I'm serious, you have got to keep writing things like this! have to! *clappY*
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ZOMGZOMGOSJGNISIEGIOWHNGH SGH ZO MAI G0o0o0o0o0DNESS!
Aaawwwwwwwwww XD *squeals* It's soooooooo cuuuuuuuuttte XD *dies* It's just so adorable *dies again* It wasn't cheesy at all! =D
Just a coule minor errors, in paragraph three you mentioned that it was a slow song twice which isn't needed, and in paragraph five you said that she "grabbed" his hand which is a little too undelicate of a word fot that situation if you ask me ^-^ Then all that htere was is that you forgot to put a comma or dot or whatever after the diologue in paragraphs 11, 15, 23, and 30.
Rat00t!
♥ Alex ♥
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