THE PLAGUE1
The cloudless, moonless night was perfect for the gathering. The glowing stars dominating the black sky highlighted the full spectrum of lights cresting the hill and descending into the bowl shaped hollow. Hour after hour the lights poured into the bowl, melding into a rainbow of swirling colors. On this night, a rarity that occurred only once every seven hundred years, when all three moons were new, the most revered of our minds of our race would join as one. Tonight the gathering would focus its’ attention on the plague that was slowly, but surely destroying our people. 2
For the longest of time our people, an energy based life form, lived in a state of near immortality. Then it was discovered that the radiation from our sun was slowly accumulating in our bodies and making some of the more attuned ill. Yet in our longevity this was not seen as an immediate problem as we still lived more than five hundred years. So even in illness we continued to learn and grow. Our minds kept expanding further away from our planet but we were never able to leave, as the solar radiation would kill us once we left the shielding of our home. Over the millennium our immunity to the radiation weakened and the life span of our kind began to decrease further. Still we lived two hundred or more years and we continued to strive forward. Now however we were split in our studies. One group expanded thought through normal studies and the other poured themselves into the research necessary to return us to our previous ageless glory. 3
When I reached the age of maturity, approximately one hundred I chose the study of astronomy and the tracing of radioactive particles from the furthest points as my focus. My mental skills were honed and I trained with fever and honor. Eventually my mind became able to focus from our world around us to the furthermost reaches of space with little effort. I would reach out from my home and explore the vast regions of space in search of new particles that could be causing the shortening of the life spans of our people. After almost thirty years of searching and training I became fairly adept at finding and tracing particles from their source to their point of absorption. 4
It was at this time that the plague hit the hardest. More of our people were dying and there was nothing we could do. More, there was nothing I could do. The weight of this failure was growing heavy on us all. The gatherings were occurring more often as we searched each other’s minds and experiences to find the key. But all was at a loss. There was no memory or direction of research that seemed to suggest any help. 5
I continued my searching in deep space and discovered two new forms of radiation and was very close to coming to terms with the possibility of another dimension to search. But my searching came to an abrupt end when a new possibility occurred while visiting friends at one of our hospitals. Two helpers were assisting a patient when he passed away mere feet from me. Everyone dropped silent in a final showing of respect and loss. But I stared, mind agape at what I had witnessed. As the passing occurred a small particle had danced away from the dead form and had winked out of our existence. 6
I quickly gathered all the helpers I could and explained what I had witnessed. I was taken to the rooms of those whose passing was eminent and waited. More than one day passed before I was again to witness the particle leaving the body of our lost friend. As I was now sure of the occurrence I prepared myself for the deepest of space focus and I waited for the next passing. This time as the body died and the particle departed I followed. The path was long and my contact to my home stretched further and thinner than ever. Just when I was sure that I had reached my limit the particle stopped. Strange frequencies emanated from the end point and I stayed a moment to memorize them before returning home.7
The transition from deep space focus to normal takes several hours but I knew that I needed to rush. Taking every short cut possible I came out of the meditation to find a group of twenty gathered around me. Their colors were bright with excitement as they waited for my news. I requested that the top linguists gather to hear my news and within minutes more colors merged into the space.8
Speaking quietly and with hope I told my story. Then, with a room full of helpers and specialists I passed on the sounds that had been heard upon the particles arrival. "Congratulations Mrs.. Smith, you have a healthy baby girl". Slowly the color in the room faded as the original excitement dimmed. The linguists left, talking quietly to themselves. Perhaps in time the information will be translatable and will give us some clues.9
John Mail10
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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Good One
Excellent point of view. In the future would you care to add a bit more detail towards the surroundings and actual looks of these creatures? I would love to read more of this. I'm a tad confused the colors in the air are they emotion or like excitement? Could you maybe describe what the helpers and specialists jobs are? -
Great piece.
I really enjoyed this piece, i had to read it a couple of times, but that is just me nothing to do with the pice.
I thought the use of language was great the pacing spot on.
Once again very well written.
All the best.
jsdk.
beginning: 3, language: 3, plot: 3, ending: 4, characters: 3.
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Write a Novel, luv....
How enchanting this story is, souls waitingto be born, you have capture my attention now I must read more of your work! Ennovy -
loved it!
ive been sitting here five minutes "wow" letting the words form a meaning ,"i do believe i have it" love yer work.. wondering if you read james redfern at all? -
AHHHHHH this was an excellent write. Life, before life. Kind of like the biblical explanation of souls awaiting birth, the ghuph. Very deep write. I enjoyed this. I think you could easily make a novel of this, and your attention to detail a description in this is amazing. I applaud you my friend for such excellence.
allpoetry.com/Story/288496 -
excellent
Sigh....the last of your stories for me to read. An excellent twist of the birth of a baby and the delivery of the soul.
thanks once again
Talia -
This was long but a realy good story. Very interesting also. Ill be checking up on your work from now on,
Beanie
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Interesting write, a few grammatical mistakes, but nothing big. This was written in a very interesting way, trying to explain how we all came to be. It's a genre of sci-fi that comes and goes, and it's hard to write something in this fashion that keeps me truely interested. It was intriguing, but the ending left more to be desired. Keep it up!
-John -
Definitely the search for longevity has been a long scientific journey. Perhaps it is our molecular structure, perhaps the molecules around. Who knows!
Hmmm... do discover where that particle went to, perchance would be the answer.
Great job and good luck!!! -
interesting spin in this my friend..I sould not be surprised to see a shiny trophy sitting be the title...best of luck..I will read more of your work.. freda
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Heh this is a great great write, i'm sorry I cant leave more of a comment at the moment, I gotta go. Damn work. Good luck in the contest n.n;
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Wow, that was really cool..I loved the way you wrote that..keep it up..Ill be looking for more
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great short story. you are good,i say that rarely to anyone. i'm going to continue reading you.
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I have read other stories of yours, but this one I find the best!
I believe that is because has to do with reincarnation and you have brought the subject on a very special way.
Great write John!
Mari
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Finally made it back to page this am....kept getting kicked off last night and could not tell if comment even showed uo ....then I tried to go through your authorpage as not to cost you pts , but that was a joke too
I am so sorry !
Reenie
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I LOVE this story! I can't wait to read more...
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Like everyone else was thrown for a loop at the end, but it was an awesome tale of what very well be reality ( who knows ) . As I was getting nearer to the end though and all those people were gathered around and you awaiting the time to return to normal time elapsed ...i was sort of reminded of a movie with Jody Foster and Matthew Mc Canaheigh <-------sp ? The name of the movie was contact and she had to try and convince everyone that she actually travelled into space . Hope you know which one I am talking about
Both , this write and the movie were A+
Reenie
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long...but worth it. it reminds me of a book...ill remember it later. but good job if it reminds me of something (since i cant remember crap) then you know youve done great
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Excellent..I enjoyed this fully
The pivot was quite well executed, and although I suspected where the end was going I was curious as to how you would 'reveal' it. I love ideas that flip perspectives, as they so often leave room for other thoughts or ..inspirations..
Very well done...I will be reading more of your 'stories', as this is the second, and I have yet to be disappointed.
~~whims
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this is a great poem very long though but good keep writing and ill keep reading and thanx for the share
mini-desire -
Nice pivotal idea in keeping with entropy, tightly written – like Arnold – ‘I’ll be back!’
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First point. I feel the spirit of Dr. Watson here. Doyle behind it all. Don't ask me why.
2. Intersteller travel through thought, an evolutionary possibility, that I adhere too. (Instantaneous, matter transference not required.
3. Reincarnation on Cosmic Scale. Also near and dear.
4. Just plain fun.
5. Write on McAndrew... -
great twist
This is a very good story, and I especially love the twist at the end (of course, since that is really what the whole thing built up to) While reading the story I kept thinking, there's so much you could add to this story, so many ways to expand it, so that it becomes more of a story, and less of an explanation of this society and the main character's life. But then the ending drew it together so it seems it doesn't really need the extra stuff. But I think you could expand it a bit(maybe with more characterization), not too much, you know, find a happy medium. Well, it's great. -
Excellent
I liked this story lots - it has the best ingredient for SciFi: A unique idea presented in a believable way. And of course the all-important "twist" at the end, which in this case was totally unexpected and very, very cool. The only things I would watch is use of the apostrophe, especially with variations on the word "its". [General rule: An apostrophe is only used with the word "it's" in one instance - when the word is used as a contraction for "it is".]
Other than that, the story is flawless. You should submit it to Analog or some other magazine and try to get it published. I think Analog pays something like 7-9 cents per word. Not enough to quit the day job but getting published by a respected SciFi mag is an important feather to have in your cap. (And no, I've never gotten published commercially, but I have a story in the works right now aimed specifically at Analog. Wish me luck...)
Anyhow, great job, keep 'em coming!
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