My Place.1
My house is so small, I feel like a bug being trodden on. I’m the eldest kid in the family. My name’s Pearl. I have one brother and three sisters. There’s Anya who is ten, Luke who is seven, Peridot who is five and baby Holly is one week and two days old. I’m fourteen; I have long brown hair, green eyes and rosy red lips.
Outside, hail smashes against the freezing cold glass. The fire glows and gives us hope but it can’t last forever.
Tomorrow’s my first day with my new mistress. I’m a servant girl you see, I earn one shilling a month but that’s not enough to feed the family. My mistress has two very spoilt children who have a King Charles Spaniel called Lolly Pop.
It's hard living this life.
Author notes
UNFINISHED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Comments
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This is a great start and I want to hear more!! The beginning draws you right in and I love that one line - the second paragraph, I believe, where you describe the weather.
But it seems a little disconnected. Like things are happening to the main character but she doesn't respond to it. I want more emotions and details on WHY this life is particularly hard.
Keep writing!
♥Maureen♥
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Awesomeness :P
This is Great.
I want to hear even more.
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WOW!
It's based in the victorian times.
Good story!
Why don't you tell more about how life is with the mistress? Tell about her house and how it strucks your character.
ummm...take some help from the Cinderella story -
WOW! I LOVED THIS!! iS THIS BASED IN THE VICTORIAN TIMES.
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