All guys should know this stuff - a womans guidelines to understanding women

Ok so I have been surrounded by guys my entire life. Most of my cousins are male. I have a brother and brother-in-law. My friends are all men. And now I am surrounded by what I would call the most men of men. Mairnes. They are always asking me why women do what we do. Why are women evil. They ask. My response is yes, women are evil. Im not sure it can be helped. Now Im not saying evil in a murdering kind of way. Although some of my Marines see it differently. 1

Basic questions I get are:2

why did she cheat on me?3

why did she leave me?4

why doesnt she like me?5

why did she do blankity blank?6

what did I do wrong?7

Of course every situation varies depending on the girl, the guy and the story leading up to it. Most often the reason is that the girl is simply not nice. The are attracted to her for a quick lay and then they start getting all soft hearted. A huge hint. If she is dating someone else when you start going out then dont expect too much.8

For instance9

on good friend of mine has been enaged 2 times in the 2 years I have known him. I have now put my foot down and told him he is incapable of deciding if he should marry a girl. Obviously the guy falls in love with anything with mammory glands. The first day I met him he was completly drunk (and talking to bums) and he decided that his current lady love was the one he wanted to be chained to for life. He then buys a "promise" ring and foists it onto her. They are of course in a lond distance realationship since he is a Marine. Well little to say she starts to fall for some guy back home. 10

My first major fact to impart is this: do not become engaged when more than two feet seperate you from you one and only. 11

Second: never do the deed drunk. Maybe something to fortify you so you dont shake so hard the ring falls on the floor and rolls off somewhere.. and maybe somthing to use as a celibration toast but not hammered out of your head drunk.12

SO that little engagement didnt last more than two months. Well Iraq is around the corner and all young men want someones dirty pictures to show off and someone to write them letters. Most Marines get married or engaged at this point. So my drunk friend thought it would be brilliant to go home on leave.. meet a girl he vaugly new in high school and then start planning the wedding. This time the ring was beautiful. She came out and visited (leaving her 2year old at home) and things looked..well ok. A few months down the road I get a call from Iraq. She had started to see another guy.. and not told him.. just stopped talking to him. His dad told him. Very low girly. very very low. Well this is an instance I am usually asked.. why are women evil. But seriously I think I have heard more men doing this than the ladies. She was evil in not telling him. I count it as cheating that she went out with someone else and let him draw he conclusions.13

Notes on the story: DO NOT become engaged on as little as three weeks of crazy monkey sex. Wait at least 9 months.. I waited 3 years before I decided to shackle my guy to the wall. I suggest a year and a half.14

Now the third girl is still in the mill. She hasnt gone crazy yet and nothing is really official but my poor friend had to sell the VERY expensive rings so as not to loose a HUGE amount of money. Consider that when you are trying to hitch your three week lady love. 15

Dont think that all my stories are about getting married. A lot of them are relationship bandaids. My husband is the least romantic man i know. He is the very last to catch onto any hint I give. In fact 20 other Mairnes usually catch on before he does. He isnt a slow minded guy he just doesnt think I want all those girly things like flowers and dates and being told how drop dead gorgious I am.16

Meeting girls also seems to be a big problem for guys... well meeting decent girls. They know where to meet the hookers and the fuck buddies but have no idea what to do when it comes to a friend and lover.17

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When you do meet a good girl use these tips to keep her.20

how to tell your lady she is beautiful.
This is an important skill. If you do it right all sorts of doors open. Dont expect imediate awards. This is something you do daily that helps your relationship. It is like feeding your pet. Manditory.21

SO do not just mumble "you look pretty" while looking at the TV and chomping snacks. 22

The best time to do it is the first time you see her during the day or if she has been out of sight for more than 10 hours. (even better if you notice a hair cute or new outfit)23

Now delivery is important too. Look at her.. in her eyes. smile.. count silently in your head... one one thousand, two one thousand... now say "you look wonderful" or "you look beautiful" or pick something (non sexual) and complement that. "Ilike your hear like that" or " you smell nice works" if commenting on smell it is best to give a hug and then smile and state the greatness of her sent. 24

After is important but a little more difficult to predic. Depending on the mood and where you are you might want to continue a conversation with your beauty. Let her smile and say whatever she thinks about your complement first. Hugs should be initiated by her. Unless of course she gives you a come hiher look indicating she wants you to make SWEET love to her.25

remember not to expect a round of horizontal mumbo or even a makeout session. And do this daily.. perferable at different times everyday and with a different phrase. After a while it just might come naturally.26