That Word

chapter 11

Every single time, in every conversation I've ever had, when that word is spoken, memories are triggered, sensations are conjured, and one face is pictured. There is only one song that clogs up the pipes in my mess of a mind. Love. You can hear it, feel it, miss it, steal it, even regret it. It's one word that has a thousand meanings and that exists in every language. 2

I never really knew what that word was capable of until one person finally told me love's purpose. He said that, "It was just something to keep us occupied and interesting. Who wants to be bored all the time anyways? Love is exciting, old and new. When you think of how many people you will come to love in your life, the word looses its power. And why let a word over-power you?"3

After that, I fell in love with his hatred and almost annoyance with the L word. Like hearing it was like listening to nails on a chalkboard. His eyes ached whenever he said it as if trying not to watch the memories flood his head. He had this certain composure and confidence that I couldn't help but wonder what love did to make him this way. How was he before? Did he laugh more? 4

He hated his name too. He went by his middle name, Nate, instead of Theodore. Good choice if you ask me. He loved it when I called him Nate, he said that my voice made it sound better. Nate loved my voice.5