Lyone's Den -- Sixteen

We went back to Trevor's room and sat on his bed. We put the baby between us, on the bed. Trevor and I were just in Keaten's room with him and Toby, talking to them about what was going on. They said it really helped. I knew Trevor was the person to help Keaten. 1

"I want to appologize for the other night, again," Trevor said when we got situated on the bed. "I really shouldn't have done that. Was it, at least, worth it?"2

"Yes, I will say, it was definitly worth it." I didn't know if it was because it'd been such a long time for me or if it really was just that good, but the other night was down-right amazing.3

"I want to make it up to you by helping you."4

"Help me how?" I asked.5

"With Greg. I'm happy as long as you're happy, and I know you'll be really happy if you're with Greg, so I want to help you be with him." 6

Trevor grinned and London cooed. Trevor made a few faces at him and started tickling him a little. London giggle like crazy. I could already tell what a wonderful father Trevor was and would always be.7

"I will help you win his heart," he said, encouraging me to speak up.8

"And how are you going to do that?" I smirked.9

"First, we need to make him realize he's gay."10

"I don't believe that he is," I said.11

"Okay, scratch that. First, we need to make you realize he is."12

"Good luck," I replied.13

"I'll do it, and you know I will. Have I ever failed at something I said I would do?" he asked, raising his eyebrows at me.14

I thought about it for a moment. He never has. "No," I said.15

"That's right, because I know what's possible and what's not, and this is possible, and I will make you see! I will make the blind see."16

"Getting a little a head of yourself, now, aren't you?" I scoffed.17

"Never. I can do just about anything." He smiled at me sweetly. 18

He did have a really nice smile, not as nice as Greg's, though.19

"Oh really?" I asked. 20

I looked him in the eyes and I saw that look again. Now that I knew it meant love, it broke my heart. He desperately needed somewhere to stay, but there were no vancancies in my heart. 21

"I should probably go," I said. "I'm gettin pretty tired," I lied.22

"Yeah, that would probably be better." He knew I could see in his eyes how much he cared about me. He was embarrassed he let it show. "I'm sorry, again," he said.23

"I know," I replied. "By, Kid," I told London and playfully pulled on his foot. He giggled and imitated me when I waved by to him.24

"Hey, Lyone," Trevor called as I reached his bedroom door. My hand was on the knob.25

"Yeah?" I half-turned, afraid of what he was going to say.26

"I'm really sorry if I made things awkward, especially with what I said this morning, but I really wanted to say that you're such a great friend for sticking with me even after I said I, well, you know," he said, really embarrassed now.27

"It's okay, Trevor. I'll see you in the morning." 28

"Okay, Lyone. I'll see you in the morning, along with Greg." He smiled now, trying to recover. 29

I went back to my room and laid on my bed to think. I really wasn't tired, I was just afraid Trevor would try kissing me again. Honestly, I don't know that I would've been able to resist him. It was so good last time, but I'd just be using him. I didn't know he was in love with me last time. I couldn't do it again. I didn't feel anything for Trevor. Greg had my heart completely, and I wouldn't be able to be attached to anyone like that until I got over Greg, seeing as I'll never be with him. 30

"Mom, what do I do?" I whispered to my ceiling. "Trevor's great and he's wonderful, but I don't feel anything for him. I don't want to hurt him though. He says he loves me, and I can see that it's true. There's someone else, and I have to be true to myself, right? Isn't that what they always say? Oh well. I'm destined to never be happy, I guess. Good night, Mom."31

I turned my light out and went to sleep. 32

In the morning, I went downstairs, wearing just my boxer-shorts and bedhead. Trevor and Greg were in the kitchen. I feared what Trevor was talking to Greg about. I stayed out of sight for a moment to hear what they were discussing.33

"He really likes you a lot," Trevor said.34

My froze as I waited for Greg's response.35

"Probably because I've been feeding him so well," Greg joked. That's it, that's all I was to him. A big joke. 36

I went into the kitchen so they'd stop talking about me. I was crushed. 37

"What's wrong with you?" Greg asked, noticing that I was upset.38

Greg was holding the baby and feeding him bits of mush. They were talking about London, weren't they? London is who really likes Greg.39

"Nothing," I smiled. 40

"Nice hair," Trevor laughed. 41

"Yeah, I know. Sexy, huh?" 42

I sat at the bar in the kitchen.43

"You're never going to impress him like that," Trevor said.44

"What?" Greg and I both asked.45

Trevor looked at Greg. "Lyone has a crush," he teased.46

I burned holes in Trevor's head. He only winked at me.47

"Really? This is the first I've heard of it," Greg said. "Who is it?" he causually asked, setting London back down.48

My face grew bright red and I almost died of embarrassment. 49

Don't say it. Don't say it. Don't say it! Don't say it!50

"I can't say," Trevor shrugged.51

"You're no fun," Greg teased.52

"He'd probably kill me."53

You're damn right I would! I wanted to say, but I tried to just ignore them. It wasn't a big deal, right? Greg would have no idea it was him.54

"I think I know who it is, anyway," Greg said.55

"You're bluffing," I blurted out. I hated that they were talking about me like I wasn't even there. 56

"Who do you think it is?" Trevor asked. They both completely ignored me.57

"I'm not going to say. This is obviously quite touchy to him, isn't it Lyone?"58

I didn't answer him. Instead, I sneered at them both and went back upstairs. 59

"Oh, come back here. We're not making fun of you. It's a good thing," Greg called after me.60

I went back to my room and sat on my bed, like a drama-queen teenage girl. There was a knock on my door. 61

"Go away," I said.62

Trevor opened the door and let himself in.63

"I said 'go away'."64

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean for that to turn into us picking on you. I just wanted to try and help you. I really care about you and I really want to help you."65

"Yeah, sure. Why should I believe that?"66

"Lyone? Are you mad at me?" Trevor asked. His heart was breaking.67

"No," I said. "It's just frustrating, and you could've warned me. If he actually didn't before, I'm sure he knows now. I totally gave myself away, didn't I?"68

"Not completely," he offered and shrugged. "And maybe it's a good thing. If he knows, then something can happen or you can at least get some closure."69

"I don't want him to know. I don't want anything to happen. This is embarrassing enough."70

"I'm sorry. I was just trying to help."71

"I know. Maybe Dr. Johanning was right, I am sabotaging myself."72

"Huh?" Trevor questioned. 73

"My therapist. I told her about Greg yesterday and she thinks that subconsciously I don't want to be happy, I don't want things to work out for me."74

"Oh."75

"Can I just be alone for a little while? Get me when breakfast is ready," I asked.76

"Okay, sure," Trevor replied. "Hey, I am really sorry about what just happened. I'll see you later." He left.