Laughter

Richard rushed into his lounge room, the bowl of two-minute noodles clasped in his hands. He fumbled slightly as he retrieved the TV remote from coffee table, a stray length of noodle flopping over the edge of the bowl and to the floor.1

He paid no heed – he just had to turn on the TV – there was no way he would miss the start of his favourite comedy. With a swift movement that any professional athlete would be proud of, he eased into his recliner, juggled his fork and flipped the lever of the chair, whilst pointing the slim remote at the TV.2

A noise, reminiscent of a night of too much grog and kebabs, reverberated from the vicinity of his butt checks. Though a fart any man would be proud of, Richard knew for a certainty that that, did not originate from his arse. For one, he hadn’t been out on the town since the weekend, and secondly, it lacked a distinctive odorous quality.3

After depositing the bowl of noodles on the coffee table, he sent his left hand on an exploratory mission. Seconds later, his fingers closed on the rubbery offender. He pulled it out and examined it in the flickering light of the box.4

“What the hell?” he remarked, a whoopee cushion dangling between his thumb and forefinger.5

Unexpected giggling sounded in response to his rhetorical question. 6

His eyes slid from the pink rubbery device to focus on the source of the merriment. 7

“And who the hell are you?” Richard queried as he held up his fork menacingly. Not that there was any chance that he could do damage to the intruder with a fork, but at least he felt somewhat safer with it clenched in his hand.8

The bizarrely clad man stepped into the light - his apparel composed of a variety of mismatched fabrics in a range of migraine-inducing colours and pattern combinations. Richard, though a burly carpenter by trade, was certain that magenta polka dots on a stripy tangerine background were a fashion faux pas in the very least, and most certainly shouldn’t be worn as a tie. Eyes watering, he repeated his question.9

The gaudily clothed intruder bowed with a dramatic flourish, before straightening and smiling. “I am Laughter.”10

A small smattering of courtesy applause resonated around the room as he spoke the peculiar phrase.11

“Oh yes – ha ha,” Richard replied sarcastically. “Silly me, I should have known.” He slapped himself upside the head, narrowly missing gouging himself with the fork he still held. Realising what he had nearly done, he threw it down in disgust.12

“Look mate – whatever the joke is – I’m not getting it. And Halloween was nearly three weeks ago, so you best be taking yourself…” Richard paused as he caught sight of a tiny three-legged dog wearing a mouldy ruffle. “What the fuck!?”13

The strange man stooped to pet the dog’s head. “This ‘ere is Tinkles - I wanted to leave him at home, but he did insist…”14

Richard interrupted the explanation, “Look mate - I don’t care about you or that mangy thing, you can…” He stopped, eyes bulging as the dog raised its entire back half and urinated on the sofa.15

“Don’t mind the wee doggy – he likes to live up to his name, don’t you Tinkles?” the man said by way of explanation as Richard gripped the armrests of his recliner with white-knuckled hands.16

Richard jumped from his chair, circumventing the fact that it was still in full recliner-mode in his haste to get up. He stumbled, knocking the forgotten bowl of noodles to the floor. “Piss off mate!” he yelled. “Take your freak-show self and your incontinent dog and… GO!”17

The man laughed – a jolly giggle that bubbled to a crescendo of guffaws and snorts of amusement. Even the dog bared its teeth and sniggered.18

Richard stared incredulously. 19

After awhile, the gales of laughter died down. “All the Family got together last week – and we had that same old argument…”20

Richard held his hand up. “I don’t know what planet you’re from, what circus you’ve escaped from, or what delusion you’re suffering – but I don’t care. If you leave now, I promise not to call the cops.”21

The man sighed. “I take it you’ve never gotten a visit from the rest of the Family?”22

“What Family?” Richard asked, his patience stretching thinner by the second. “You don’t look like you belong to the mob. And with that face paint, I doubt even you could belong to the Addams’ Family.”23

The man raised a colourful hand to his face. “Sorry ‘bout that – I just come from my kid’s birthday party,” he muttered as he lifted an equally whimsical handkerchief from a pocket.24

Richard watched the removal of the white face paint, as the man’s true face slowly came to light. It was perfectly ordinary in most ways, except for the mouth, which was set in the permanent rigor of a maniacal grin. He took a step back. 25

“I assure you Mr. Healy - most of your kind has met at least one member of our family.” He wiped a smudge of paint from his chin. “Heck – all of you eventually come across my cousin at some point.”26

“Cousin?” Richard stuttered.27

“Yeah – Death. Most of the family envy him – and who wouldn’t? - Cool scythe, haunting voice, no dieting…” He patted his own rather rotund stomach. “Working conditions are a bit shoddy, but at least no one questions if he is actually Death or not. Except at Halloween – he finds it a trifle tricky on that one day – some old biddy once tried to give him a box of Hershey’s before closing the door in his face.”28

Richard just stared. “Who… who…”29

“Who am I? Thought I told you… Laughter. Second son of Despondency and Wrath. Me Ma and Pa really wanted a girl – Depression. But I graced this world with my humorous presence instead – caused a bit of a stir – me Ma got accused of having an affair.”30

“What?” Stupefied, Richard resorted to communicating in the simplest of terms.31

“What do I do? Think about it,” he exhorted. “Me cousin is Death – he comes to collect lives… yeah? I’m Laughter…”32

Richard swallowed nervously as ‘Laughter’ paused. “You take…”33

“Oh – come on Mr. Healy – you look to be the intelligent type.” He gave Richard a quizzical look. “At least from the outside – wouldn’t know for a fact unless I took a squiz at the grey matter…”34

Richard clapped his hands over his ears and head. “You can’t take my humour – what am I supposed to do without laughter?”35

“You filled up your whoopee cushion too fast in this life Mr Healy – wasted hot air on laughing at jokes with bad punch lines, chortled at too many second rate comedians, told knock-knock jokes at funerals – shall I list more?”36

Richard gestured at the limp whoopee cushion. “So that was…?”37

“I’m afraid so, Mr Healy - though it made quite an entertaining noise as it came out.” Laughter smirked, amused at the recollection.38

“But comedy was my whole life,” Richard moaned.39

Laughter pulled out a spiral notebook. “I can always talk to my cousin – have him move you up in his schedule…” He flicked through the pages, muttering to himself. “How’s Tuesday next week?”40

Richard glanced sadly at his TV, before his shoulders slumped in defeat. “Can he fit me in sooner? I mean – what’s life without laughter anyway?”41

Laughter grinned, and pencilled in a notation. “Indeed.”42


43


44

45


Author notes

My first attempt at this genre. I will likely polish this some more.

For Ary:
Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. It wished to reach the plain of higher existence.
(I know - totally random)

A contest entry

So... what did you think?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have 0. (?) (Line numbers)
    Ratings:

Comments

1 - 50 of 50

  • KillerQueen
    October 26

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    Wow!

    This is amazing! I love it, I really do. You've got GREAT use of vocab, and your sentences are structured wonderfully. It certainly made me laugh! I was a tad shocked at the end, I must admit. I didn't expect Richard to want to meet Death so soon! But I guess the ending really made the story what it is. So well done and thanks so much for taking the time to enter! I wish you well in my contest, and the others that this is entered in.


  • F66142589
    October 11

    Edit | Reply
    I liked the part where laughter tells Richard why his laughter must go away. Elsely a bit strange story. I kind of start thinking: why did you choose to write exactly this? However, I didn't get bored either. It was a nice write.


  • Farhan
    August 23

    Edit | Reply

    Ummmmmmmmm!!! Nice

    It was great. I have another answer to the question that Why did the chicken crossed the road???
    The answer is: To get to the other side.
    Anways, a nice story and good luck with the contest.


  • LynksTryforceGurl
    June 11
    Edit | Reply
    weird... i loved it!


  • Violette silver member
    May 30

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    great. You dove straight into your story without hesitation. Nice work, it was a great concept. You are quite talented, keep up the original flair!


  • Cupcake14
    April 29

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    Err...that affair reference, I find it a bit demeaning, your in-laws should always trust you....

    Otherwise, best of luck in the contest! I would have made you a finalist, but I'm not doing that till the contest ends.


  • spikeyness
    April 5

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    Arrrr.

    Actually, you wasted no time in getting to the action. I liked the idea of Laughter, and his dog Tiddles; the bit about his parents wanting to have a daughter named Depression was a nice touch.
    For such a limited word count, you managed to pack quite a lot in. I figure that this piece could be even better if it was stretched out a little longer, but nevertheless, this story was original and the humour appealed to me. I liked the idea of Laughter's cousin, Death; booking Richard in with him as an urgent appointment was inspired.
    Well done. Not a bad read at all. Thanks for submitting.

    beginning: 2, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 4, dialog: 3, characters: 4.


  • May Kingston
    April 4

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    Haha, this made me laugh, though Laughter really pissed me off. He's so rude... I would have punched him in the face as soon as the dog started to pee on the couch. But surprisingly, Death doesn't seem as bad. Is that strange or what?

    beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 5, dialog: 4, characters: 5.


  • WhiteHorse17
    March 30
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    this was gr8!!

  • TheDecree
    March 24

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    This was superb and hilariously funny and clever as all the others have mentioned. THe humor in this is just perfection, absolute perfection.

    Excellent write (:

    Good luck in the contest


  • Tricia3 gold member
    March 13
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    I loved Tinkles!

    Now that was weird, and I do love weird. Great tale.


  • Savage
    February 27

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    Ha ha ha

    This was funny AND clever, a pair that do not usually come together. In your case, they elded perfectly, you did a really great job on this, you should be proud .

    Keep writing!


  • Atticus Unanimous
    November 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This was really clever, though at first I was confused. I loved the play on characters, I guess you'd call it. But one thing though, if Death takes away life, wouldn't Laughter take away Tears? But I get where you are going with this. I liked it. You did a pretty good job. Keep writing.


  • XxXDreamWeaverXxX
    November 20, 2008

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    wow! that was so clever. i loved it, it has made me look at thing in a different way... well done, and thx for entering my contest


  • MidniteRockers
    November 2, 2008

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    Ew!

    Good job and very funny! Laughed my head off! Don't think it was my favourite, but a good laugh. Great!
    Good luck
    Lolly x


  • Friesian
    September 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Hehehe!

    ROFLMAO!!!!! *gigle* LOl! THis was funny! Great idea of Laughter and his wittle dog, Tinkles! I nearly doubled over at the sight of the dog's name! ^_^ Excellent job! The words in this were fantastic!

    -Lissy


  • Thorn-on-the-Rose
    September 16, 2008
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    Haha, funny!! good job!! and good luck in my contest =DD

    -Dani


  • tonialoise
    September 8, 2008

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    Interesting concept. I think I've already been visited by this guy though. Sure glad he didn't bring his dog when he visited me


  • Oddems.
    September 7, 2008

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    This piece made me laugh a bit and was one of the best humor stories I've seen on here. Your writing was excellent and it was just a great work. Nice job and good luck.

    PR


  • ice wolf Greeters member
    September 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Nice job with this story. I'd like to see it continue if you get the time. Keep penning and I can't wait to see what you come up with next.

  • SailorSanji
    August 29, 2008
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    AWESOME!!!! I am a huge fan of woopee cushins.


  • happy go lucky13
    August 22, 2008

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    Superb writing! one little spelling error, just so's you knows..."Realising what he had nearly done, he threw it down in disgust."
    it should be *realizing*
    this was very creative, though kinda sad in a way at the end. i loved it none the less!


    • tallblondie gold member
      August 22, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Actually, no spelling error. I'm Aussie - we Aussies spell with 's' rather than 'z'. Just be careful in the future - there are a lot of regional differences when it comes to how certain words are spelled. For instance, we use the 'ou' combination in some words instead of 'o' - for instance 'neighbour', we always use an 's' rather than a 'z', for instance 'organise' or 'realise'.

      Thanks for reading and commenting.

      • happy go lucky13
        August 25, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        ooo! i am SO sorry! i meant no disrespect to the aussies! i love you guys! ack, ive made a fool of myself. well again, many MANY apologies!


  • Boondock Saint
    August 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    In the list is it a series with all the members of the family? That would be sweet. Although this story didnt make me laugh and probably wont win my contest because of that it still is a very interesting and well writin piece. I will read your list at least. Thank you for entering.


  • Taylor Renee
    August 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    “Who am I? Thought I told you… Laughter. Second son of Despondency and Wrath. Me Ma and Pa really wanted a girl – Depression. But I graced this world with my humorous presence instead – caused a bit of a stir – me Ma got accused of having an affair.”

    Laughter pulled out a spiral notebook. “I can always talk to my cousin – have him move you up in his schedule…” He flicked through the pages, muttering to himself. “How’s Tuesday next week?"

    ^^ My FAVORITE parts! xD

    Oh, my goodness.

    This made me laugh. SO much. It was absolutely hilarious!

    I can't believe it's your first try. It's absolutely perfect!

    I love it. Haha. Absolutely.

    Thank you so much for entering, haha, and I wish you the best of luck in my contest!

    xoxo
    -♥-
    Tay


  • Andrew Timothy
    July 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh, poor mister Healy. haha
    I liked how you incorporated the "emotions" in to Laughter's family. It gave the story a more... intelligent feel, if you would.

    As for edits, I have none. Your story was very well-written, and you've done a great job on this.

    Thank you for entering and good luck.


  • SimplyTaylor
    July 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I did think he was going to make Mr. Healy a laughing, googling idiot, but I like how you chose to reverse it and ask a fair question of us anyway. So creepy how the clown comes in and wipes off his face paint with a permanent manic grin on his face! With wonderfully written dialogue, I enjoyed the premise of this piece a lot. Let me know if there's another installment of perhaps 'depression' or 'orgasmic' or 'pride'. I think all could induce quite a laugh as well.


  • RxxSpiritWolfxxJ
    July 1, 2008

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    Crazy stuff! Totally random and just my style.
    Not really laughoutloud, but heck, it was original. (Reminded me of the joker.)

    PS - You spelt butt cheeks wrong.

    RJ


  • Pixels
    June 22, 2008
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    Hehehe!! I really like this story, it made me laugh out loud! Lovely work!

    -Kate-kat

  • Tomereader
    June 19, 2008

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    I liked this story, it was subtle and clever. It has thought provoking humour rather than belly laughs but then I like that a lot. The nearest thing to a criticism that I have was that I thought that the fellow cottoned on to the loss of his funny bone a bit too quickly but that is only me being pedantic. Good vocabulary, good construction, most enjoyable. Thank you.


  • perfect paradox
    June 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    *giggle giggle giggle* OK, enough with my creepy giggling. I love this story. How you portrayed Laughter and Death is perfect and amusing. Expecially the part with Death on Halloween.

    My only itch was:

    I didn't seem to find the part where Laughter took away his humor. Maybe point that out or add something more to that part so it sticks out. Other than that I found this most amusing!

    Keep up the amazing work!

    Cheers,

    VW

    • tallblondie gold member
      June 18, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Laughter used the filled whoopee cushion - Richard's whoopee cushion of life; [para 37,38]

      'Richard gestured at the limp whoopee cushion. “So that was…?”

      “I’m afraid so, Mr Healy - though it made quite an entertaining noise as it came out.” Laughter smirked, amused at the recollection.'

  • Oddems.
    June 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Lol, that was a very amusing story! It made me smile and I really liked the ending. You wrote it well, good job!

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.


  • IrishYndina Greeters member
    June 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    *laughs* Wow do I hope this isn't true...

    Here's my logic puzzle...if Death takes life, wouldn't Laughter take take sobriety? *scratches head* It makes sense in my wee little brain

    Ok, the story. I liked it and found it amusing, as it should be. The ending was great - what's life without laughter? Nice clincher. I feel like Laughter's voice changed halfway through the story - in the beginning, I heard him like an old British gent with all of his "wee" and "did insist" comments, then later he sounded more like an Irish leprechaun, especially with the use of "me" instead of "my." I'm not sure what the best way to fix that is, but I thought I'd at least point it out. Also, you mention the "same old argument" with the family, but I never really understood what the argument was about, why it was important to the story, or why Laughter felt that he should bring it up. *shrugs* Maybe I just wasn't attentive enough - always a possiblity. Anyways, this was an enjoyable read and a clever idea.


  • voldo
    June 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    the man said by way of explanation
    **just the man said.

    Lol. Very very well written and hilarious. A philosophical comedian.


  • Just Breathe.
    June 15, 2008
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    Lol, this is pretty funny. It was a good story! Good job!


  • Peachy
    June 14, 2008
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    This was good but I basically said it all in my other comment
    Good Luck!


  • moonwriter
    June 14, 2008

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    lol. You are an amazing writer. I loved this! I was laughing so hard. It actually relaxed me in the midd,le of my rushed stressing. Propa on the amazingness,

  • Peachy
    June 13, 2008

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    I really like this!
    All the details and descriptions enhanced the humour which is good because it's so nice to read a well written humour once in a blue moon
    This was really funny, everything was just right! A very original write and the last few paragraphs were especially clever
    It would be great to hear about the rest of Laughters family members; what would family reunions be like?!
    Anyways, loved the story; very funny.
    Nice Write!


  • Ninja Bubble
    June 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Whahhhahahaaaha!

    He'll never get my laughter! Laughter is me whole life!

    Screw him!

    But good job you scary sons a bad motha shut yo mouth!

    Hey! Where's the YouTube video/Photobucket image!?


  • I-Am-Austin
    June 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this was really cool. I love how it was a mix between funnyness and horror! great job! very beautifully written(i mean your style XD). you need to win a contest! you need to. these people would have to be super strange to not pcik your story for at least silver! you rock at writing! I saw zero grammer errors! great job!


  • Andy Stephenson gold member
    June 12, 2008

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    Well,

    I finally did it. I dropped over to your page and read something. This is really quite good. It is kind of a cross between comedy and horror, sort of a Twilight Zone story.

    You write very well. I found no errors. The only thing I wondered was why Laughter was picking on the poor fellow? He seemed harmless enough.

    You could easily find a periodical to publish this.

    Andy


  • Gary Alexander silver member
    June 12, 2008

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    Ah...Poor Richard DIdn't Understand...These ARE the JOKES!

    And all this time I thought Laughter's calling cards were: The Whoopie Cushion, The Joy Buzzer, the Finger Snapping Gum, and the Squirting Ring! Would now be amusing in preparation for Cousin Death's Visit...to place a Whoopie Cushion on His seat, shake His hand with a Joy Buzzer and squirt Him on His nose!
    Richard might also snap old Grim's pointing finger with that pack of gum! That'll show 'im!


  • Vanilla King
    June 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hahaha that was funny I love the rich vocabulary, you have an excellent choice of words! I enjoyed this story a lot, the original approach with the Family was very entertaining! Poor Richard, having to go through life without humor... Well, at least you still have a lot of it!
    Thank you for this!

  • lalaxx
    June 11, 2008

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    It's so creepy yet interesting. I like this story, it has a funny part to it and also a scary part. The idea is great.


  • AllOuta
    June 10, 2008

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    This was pretty freaking hilarious! You should think about doing another installation or maybe focus on another member of the Family. Your gift for ticking the funny bone with a turn of phrase is really impressive.

    Though- what genre is this apart of?


  • Kagin
    June 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this is one of the most enjoyable stories i've read yet


  • DoozerDan silver member
    June 10, 2008

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    I think you did well. To much Terry Pratchett for you, eh?

    Naw, I liked the humour. Not a barrel of laughs, more subtle... clever, yes, that's the word.

    Tinkles, a wee little dog. That was a joke I saw coming.

    Only thing that seemed a bit off, was he, as the person below pointed out, came round to the idea of losing his humour a bit fast, I think.

    Yeah, think that's it, great work!!

  • slashinguk
    June 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    This is a genre

    I've not seen anything like this, unless you include emotion vampires...

    Richard comes around to the idea of losing his sense of comedy rather suddenly, but otherwise I enjoyed this whole story. Good stuff.

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