Freedom

Freedom1

One reaches freedom, and then finds themselves entrapped and afraid just as they were beforhand, but by a differant master, their own nature. There is an amazing vibrance, a hope and a strength gained in freedom, but is one ever truly free? 2

Even when the captor is defeated and the pain is over, the memories remain, and will always entrap you. The training you received as a child has become second nature by adulthood, and the fears learnt, the walls that they biuld, will keep you long after the initial fight is over. 3

Prehaps in work, fighting and practice one can learn the normality of human life, but for now 'normal' is just as strange and wrong to me as my old life would have been to you. The idea of being held by a man without him wanting something sexual, its so foreign, and yet I've experienced it, and enjoyed it. But it seems wrong... in fact, it seems immoral. It is my use... I was regected. But should I not be greatful to not be seen that way? At least, it's what I'm told.4

Taught how to act, how to behave in each situation, when she meets one that dosen't match she is clueless and uncertain. Weakness, fear... she has become what her captor used to be. 5

Is one ever truly free? I guess I'll find out in time. One journey is over, and another has just begun. I venture forth into this big, frightening world with hesitation and excitment flowing through me. If I fall, how much further can I fall than I existed previously. What worse can happen to me now? It's almost enough to make one fearless... almost. But there is always the lingering fear of going back, of returning to the prison.6

Prehaps bringing the familiar up again is bad, pretending it's real will only make freedom useless as I reinact my pain through other means. It is only myself tormenting now.7

Freedom... it's become like the end of the rainbow, but I've taken a taste, and I intend to follow until I reach the pot of gold.