“Give me your hand” Kizza asked holding my tightly in her arms.1
I was cautious but needless to say I let her fingers find mine, as she placed my teary, wet hand upon her beautiful, jet, Black locks.2
“I love you remember that,” she whispered dragging my fingers through her hair, tears rolling down her own eyes, falling sadly onto my bare thighs.3
I closed my own, blinking with every tear as I let go of her warm fingers embrace holding a handful of her hair in my hand.4
“They say I am close Tammie,” Kizza spoke,choking on her tears. “Only a few months now.”5
I did not want to believe it, I did not want to open my eyes. This was all a dream, a horrible nightmare. 6
“Don't cry my love, soon it will all be over...soon baby...soon.”7
I did not want this to be over. We had been through hell and back to be together, a life time of friendship and heartache. 8
Even despite knowing that she was going to die, I knew in my heart that love would never disappear. She was not going anywhere, but somehow I could not bring myself to believe it. How could someone so beautiful, so loving, so kind be so willing and ready to leave this world behind.9
I hated that she was so strong. I wanted her to be weak, I wanted her to fear death so maybe she could feel the things that I was feeling.10
“Baby its okay to open your eyes,” She whispered, pulling my body closer into hers. Her hair brushing against my cheeks. “Open them for me, everything will be okay I promise.”11
I shook my head. I would rather be blind forever than to open my eyes. To open my eyes would mean that it was all real. That she was going to leave me. I could not bare the thought She was my life. The only thing that had kept me alive in this tormented world that I did not understand.12
“Please Tammie open your eyes, I am still the same person. I am still you kizza I will always be yours. Your one and only. I will love you forever.”13
I was angry.14
15
How could she say that? How could she say something so cruel.16
“It's a bit hard to love me when your dead isn't it?” I said pulling away from her loving embrace. My eyes remaining closed.17
18
...never again.19
Author notes
Based on parts of my life.
I love the song Iris it has been one of those songs that I have listened to through a lot of times in my life.
I hope this is ok
Blair
~In memory of Kirrili~
A contest entry
- Uber Loveliness! =O =O by Aaez.
400 points, ended July 9, 21 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Problems in Our Lives by Adelaide Blood.
175 points, ended July 4, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
If you read..Please comment.. honest feedback !!
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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i love that song
sry for your loss and i liked this a lot; awesome job with it!!! some errors, but an altogether deep meaningful story.
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OMG! That's so sad. X_X
And what's sadder is that it's a real story. This really did touch me in the soft spot.
I really really liked this story. And the emotion you potrayed is really good. And don't you just love the song Iris?
You're the closest to heaven that i'll ever be...
Wow! X_X
Anyway! Very well written. Some typos here and there. Not too big. Over all. I liked it.
Good luck.
Aaez. ^^
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BEAUTIFUL
Beautifully written, but not much of a surprise in your case Mirth. Always the artist with words and poetry. It was absolutely fantastic and it wasn't even that long. It amazes my that you can fit such emotion in such a short story.
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Awww!!! This is so sad and depressing!! The emotions were awesome, and I could really understand and sympathize with the all the trouble that Tammie was going through.
There were a few grammar/spelling mistakes but otherwise I really enjoyed it!!
<3
Maureen. -
There were a couple of minor misspellings, misplaced words and capitalization errors but honestly, I'm far too tired to go back and point them out. All-in-all, I thought it was a wonderfully written work of art. You did a wonderful job of capturing the emotions and heartache that she felt when she realized that she was going to lose the love of her life. Um, I'm curious as to why the girl was dying, but I suppose that is to add to the effect. I think its great that she is fighting to be so strong yet, she just can't hold on any longer. I think one could easily be a tear jerker hun. Good job. =]
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This was very well written! I enjoyed it all the way through and read it again. Loved it! Very well done!
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