Chapter 1: Trading

In the dusty frontier town, Brown Hawk and his paint mare created an odd contrast against the pale-faced settlers and the solid-colored horses. It seemed that they were an unwanted one too. The plainly clad pale-faces either turned their faces away with disgust or quickly hurried away. But none of this bothered the Indian youth. He was long since used to the settlers’ reactions to his people. However they would not hurt or stop him so long as he obeyed the rules of their society.1

Brown Hawk led his pony to the town’s general store. Carefully, he removed the furs and beadwork from the horse’s back. Arms laden with goods, he went into the store to trade. In the corner of the store, three women examined a bolt of fabric. A man walked lazily down aisles of goods. Another man, with a neatly trimmed, brown beard was leaning on the front counter, speaking to a beautiful girl that Brown Hawk had never seen before. It was the girl that held all of his attention. She was stunning, for a pale-face, and her hair fell like a river of warm sunshine over her back. Her pretty heart-shaped face had the boy tracing every feature of it with hungry eyes. Her sparkling, blue eyes rose to meet his.2

“Can I help you with something?” she asked awkwardly.3

Brown Hawk blinked a few times, realizing that he had been staring. But he couldn’t have helped it. He had never seen such a lovely white girl before. 4

Walking to the counter, he stood beside the richly dressed man and placed his goods on the wood. “I need to trade,” he told her, while ignoring the looks of repulsion that the man was giving him.5

“I’m sorry,” the girl told him, “I’m just watching the store for my father. I wouldn’t know how much to trade for this.” She indicated the pile on the counter. 6

“I know how much,” Brown Hawk assured her, placing a hand over his bare chest.7

The man beside him cleared his throat roughly. “I don’t think that would be the best of ideas, Kaya,” the man said. Leaning further over, he whispered into her ear. “I wouldn’t put it past him to take more than he should. You never can trust his kind.”8

“I won’t steal,” Brown Hawk protested. It insulted him that the man would suggest that he would do such a thing. And if that wasn’t bad enough, he had insulted his family and tribe as well. The youth glared angrily at the man. 9

The man straightened up to full height, which brought him only within an inch of Brown Hawk’s height. One thick, chocolate brown eyebrow rose to graze the edge of his wavy hair, as he looked the Indian up and down, taking him in. “Do you really expect us to believe that?” he asked. “Even a thief would deny theft.”10

“I don’t steal,” Brown Hawk told him again through gritted teeth. He looked the man over, himself. If it came to blows, he was certain that he could take the man down. The nicely dressed man was shorter and less muscled than he was. 11

“Of course you don’t,” the man said in a tone that showed that he didn’t believe him at all. He looked at the girl, Kaya, and smiled at her, as if he were awaiting her praise.12

“I think I’m going to let him get his things,” Kaya told him matter-of-factly. “It’s obvious that he knows more about trading than we do so why not?”13

Brown Hawk smiled gratefully at her. The man opened his mouth to protest with the yellow-haired beauty, but she cut him off. “Oh, just stop it, William.”14

William closed his mouth and shot a burning look of loathing at Brown Hawk.15

“Thank you,” the boy told her, grinning brightly at her. Not only was she beautiful, she was kind too. And both of these features seemed hard to come by in pale-faces. It was hard for him to not admire her now.16

Moving away from the counter, he began to search through the shelves and aisles for things that would be of use to him. He kept looking over his shoulder at her, as he collected blankets, cloth, and a couple of steel, hunting knives. William had returned to his conversation with Kaya, though he did shoot hateful glares at Brown Hawk every now and again. When he returned to the counter, the glare was even more venomous. 17

“I took the right amount,” he told them, though it was mostly intended for William. 18

“Do you want some help folding these and loading them on to your horse?” Kaya asked. She started to move out from behind the counter to aid him, but William snatched her hand up in his fist. 19

“You don’t need to help him,” he told her. “He can do it himself.”20

“But I offered to help,” Kaya told him, yanking her hand away from him. Turning back to face Brown Hawk she smiled at him. “Do you want help?”21

Looking from Kaya to William, Brown Hawk shook his head. The way that William acted, made him suspect that she was his wife. And if she was he didn’t want to cause any problems for her. “I can do it alone,” he told her, with a weak smile. 22

He left the store, with one last look at Kaya. It was just as well. There was no way that she would like him. And even if she did there would be no way for them to be together. He did feel bad for her though. She was too kind and beautiful to be married to that man, no matter how much money he had. William didn’t deserve her. But there was nothing that he could do, so Brown Hawk tried to push it from his mind.23

Placing his things on his horse, and tying them in place, he mounted the animal, and began riding away. Even if she was married to 'that' man, Brown Hawk hoped that he would see her the next time he came to trade in the town.

Author notes

This is the first Chapter of a collaboration with moonwriter.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Bells Kelly
    June 17, 2008
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    Cute,
    Nicely written and good descriptions.


  • Lady-Jane
    June 16, 2008

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    Fantastic. I loved this time period and your dialog and presentation was excellent. I definitley will want to continue reading this. One thing only, Even if she was married to that *bunny*, Brown Hawk... would he neccesarily think that? Not phrase, but word. It may just not be in the time period vocab for him.. i wasn't sure. Other than that, excellent!
    -bri


    • demonp3n
      June 17, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Yeah, I know. But I wasn't able to find anything to use as a substitute. I even went on to few websites, which gave me nothing helpful. And evrything I tried to come up with sounded stupid.


      • moonwriter
        June 20, 2008

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        take out the 'ass' and put 'that' in italics. It makes it sound like he dislikes the man without going outside of the time period. All you have to do it put 'that' in italics.


  • Just Breathe.
    June 15, 2008

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    Good job!
    I also like the name Kaya and this story has a good plot. Keep on writing.


  • TheFemmeFatale
    June 14, 2008

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    Me gusta mucho!

    I liked this a lot. Brown Hawk is pretty gangster. Jkjk. I like him a lot. And Kaya... hmm... sounds familiar lol.

    And that William guy seems like he's kind of a pansy.

    Wow I'm talking really stupid. That's because it's nearly 2 AM.

    Oh well. All in all, I like this.


    • moonwriter
      June 14, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I've got chapter two burried within my storywrite page if you want to read it

1 - 7 of 7