A Contest Entry For Dan Because He Asked Nicely

"NO NO NO! CUT!" Director Robertson yelled across the set. Everyone stopped what they were doing, and looked in his direction. He settled back into his chair with a sigh. Why was everyone messing up today? Today, of all days. Robertson had wanted this scene done by today, but some people were apparently too lazy to learn their lines properly. 1

The heroine of the movie, Isabelle, was still hanging upside down from the ceiling, looking very faint. Roberson considered his options for a few moments. 2

"Alright," he called out, "Get Isa down and everyone take fifteen. Get some coffee, eat a sandwich, and Mike, for your own sake, GO OVER YOUR LINES!" 3

There was a muttered "yes" from all the cast and crew as they set about doing as they were told. Robertson sighed again, and got off his chair, which was mislabed. It said "Stupid Director" instead of "Robertson." The crew had claimed it as a typo, although how one mistyped "Robertson" was hard to imagine. 4

Robertson got himself a coffee, and started wandering around the set. He passed Mike, who was saying his lines. 5

"Oh, wherefore art thou Romeo?" Mike began. 6

"Wrong script." Growled Robertson as he passed. After three more minutes, he settled back into his chair and called loudly, "Break's over! Back on task! And, on all your paychecks, let's get it right this time!"7

They tied Isabelle back up, and someone yelled action. Everything was going smoothly so far. Mike broke through the window. (Again. This was the 16th window today!) He stood under Isabelle with a very determined look on his face. He opened his mouth.... 8

"Oh, wherefore art th—- WAIT! You're not Romeo!" Mike glared at Isabelle accusingly. 9

"Oh sorry, so sorry." Isabelle replied, her voice dripping with sarcasm. Suddenly, the entire set erupted in flames. 10

"NO! Thats supposed to happen AFTER he cuts her down and escapes! Not before! Who hired you idiots anyway?!" Robertson yelled. 11

"Um...you did." Robertson's assistant piped up. 12

"Well, I regret it." He glared at his assistant. 13

The set on fire, Mike was trying to cut down Isabelle. Her screams didn't exactly aid his effort. Robertson glanced at them, and sighed. 14

"I give up." He stated. "These morons shouldn't be actors. The only act they can pull off is looking dumb. Well, at least, dumber than they really are."15

Robertson walked off the set without another look back. Although, had he looked back, he probably could have avoided the tire hitting his head when the truck exploded... But at least when he wakes up, he'll think of all of this as some vague nightmare that should never be repeated.