Papa's Glasses

Lines stretching out in various directions, crossing each other, connecting at unexpected points. More lines, more circles, more points. All of this never made any sense. All of this was what Petr always saw reflecting in his father’s working glasses. All of this was what Petr ever hated so much in his little child world.
Just like today, these senseless, pointless lines that Father called big words like: “project” or “work” always came across Petr’s big plans. He once again, just like last week and the week before that, stood all dressed up, with his boots on, his scarf on and even his hat on in Father’s room, all ready to go. He remembered his excitement, and the big plans he made during the week, the butterflies in his stomach as he woke up in the morning, the smile on his face getting wider as the evening came closer…and no wonder. He was going to go out with the Great Papa…and not just out but he was going to take a long ride in the car, sit on the front seat like a big boy, and go to a thrilling place like Circus. The Circus. Petr could picture it clearly in his mind, his imagination flew so freely, he could actually see it. He saw it all. The muscled up wrestlers that broke chains with a single move of their muscles. Beautiful women taming wild animals. Funny clowns. Smart animals acting. Everything was so close…but in never got any closer than that. Never.
Every week father would promise, and tell Petr all about the “big plan” and every week it would end the same way. Just like today.
Father lifted his head from the whatman paper on his desk and Petr saw his own reflection in the glasses. As his father seemed to have gotten back to reality from his work, he blankly stared at Petr… smiled.
For a split second there was hope, and the anticipation dashed through Petrs mind…
---What are you doing up so late Pet’? Off to bed.. it’s too late even for a big boy like you.
Anticipation disappeared.
---What about circus papa?
---Circus? At eleven? Clowns need to sleep, and besides I need to work…
Work.
Work
Work
How Petr hated that word!!!
Petrs heart sank, he undressed slowly, as he watched the lines reflecting in his Fathers glasses appear again. Stretch. Connect. Ruin his life. He took of his boots, his coat, his hat. Slowly, taking his time, glancing at his papa… nurturing that little of hope that he still had. This little hope never left, it was important but it was that little hope that always hurt the most. Maybe Father was only kidding. Maybe he was going to get up…like… right now.. And they were to go. As all of his street clothes were off and he was ready to go change into his pajamas, the last traces of hope faded away. Petr walked into his room, tightly closed the door, and cried silently. With the tears flowing quietly down his cheeks, he was thinking angrily about Father’s glasses. How much he hated them. It was their fault. He knew that. How could his Father’s lines, and squares be so important??! What could possibly on this planet be more important then that one place on Earth that was heavenly? A place full of excitement, full of surprises, full of importance. Circus. How could ANYTHING be more significant??
Through his tears, he heard his parents speaking softly. He heard Mom’s comforting tone:
---It’s alright darling, don’t blame yourself.
---No it’s not ok. I am always working and you know that I don’t spend enough time with him. I am a terrible father…
---He is big enough, he understands.
---He is five, you think he understands?? Of course not, and being five he deserves better. That’s it. I’m taking next weekend completely off. We will go for a picnic in the morning as a family. And in the evening I will take him to that circus. I will.
---Alright darling. Whatever you say.
Lines intersecting with each other, crossing, stretching, ending up in circles and dots, was what Petr saw in Father’s glasses next weekend. Again. As he stood all dressed up in his father’s room. Father looked up and stared at him.
--- What are you doing up so late Pet’? Off to bed it’s too late even for a big boy like you.
Petr changed quietly. Went to his room. Shut the door. Lay down and closed his eyes as silent tears flew down his cheeks.1