First section: Character Profile1
1.Joseph(Joe)
2.Farley
3.44
4.Male
5.Human
6.Six feet, developing a paunch, big, blue eyes, and brown thinning hair
7.White Irish, born and lives in New York City
8.A budding romance with a waitress at Mallory's Pub.
9.A straight arrow, doesn't like anything that breaks social or moral laws. Likes the company of his fellow police officers and his long time friend Neil Harris. Likes and drinks beer. Smokes occasionally, but not a lot. Enjoys sex, good food, sports, and fishing.
10. Moral and supports his daughter who lives with his ex-wife and her family.
11. Eating and drinking too much. Smoking.
12. Dedicated to his job and working his way up the ladder gradually in the police force. Slowly becoming interested in a relationship with Sandy, the waitress.
13. Hunting a serial killer, battling with his desire to start a new relationship, and fighting with ex-wife over money and custody of their daughter.
14. Police Detective Sergeant in Homicide, content and committed.
15. Has daughter named Becca. He will soon be dating Sandy. He is hot on the trail of a serial killer. His ex-wife is a money grabbing bitch, Rose.2
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4
Second section: A sample scene5
Joseph Farley awoke in a quiet meadow with a variety of wildflowers growing around him. It was rare for him to be away from the concrete and asphalt of New York City, so the smell of the fresh flowers and air were foreign to him. Deeply he breathed the pure air into his lungs as though he were trying to get high. He heard birds chirping and the rattle of locus in the trees, which surrounded the meadow.6
Suddenly he heard the cries of a young woman. “Stop! Stop! Please let me go.” Immediately instinct set in and he stood up and moved toward the sound of her voice.7
Quickly, though carefully he moved in her direction. As he entered the forest he saw three men dressed in military garb of what appeared to be that of medieval soldiers. Trapped in the center of them was what seemed to be a young peasant woman in a torn linen dress. 8
He reached for his automatic and realized that he had neither gun nor holster. Cautiously he moved in toward the men. Somehow he had to save this woman. 9
“Let her go!” Joe shouted.10
“If ye want her lad, come and get her,” one of the soldiers stated. 11
Joseph had been trained in hand to hand combat, but he was not looking forward to a fight with three seemingly fit men with swords. Joseph courageously advanced in spite of the threat. The soldier who had spoken, drew his sword. The soldier swung at Joseph. Joseph stepped inside the swing catching the soldier by his sword arm and throwing him over his shoulder to the ground while simultaneously disarming him. The soldier lay stunned on the ground and Joseph quickly picked up the sword and held it close to the soldier's chest prepared to shove it in deeply. To the other two soldiers, he said, “Let her go, or I'll kill him.”12
“Indeed Sir, we shall. Just spare our fellow companion.”13
“Come here,” said Joseph to the young woman.14
“Thank ye Sir, thank ye,” said the woman.15
Feeling a warm sense of worth, Joseph Farley awoke from his dream. The young woman of his dream reminded him of Sandy.16
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Third section: A link to the story19
http://storywrite.com/list/34946-Secret-Radio-Murders20
Joseph Farley makes his appearance in Chapter 4.21
Author notes
Lyrics from Strawberry Fields Forever by the Beatles:
Living is easy with eyes closed
Misunderstanding all you see
It's getting hard to be someone
But it all works out
It doesn't matter much to me
A contest entry
- Novels - Your Character by tallblondie.
900 points, ended September 20, 30 entries
Honorable winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - What do your characters dream about? by EphemeralStyle.
550 points, ends November 23, 18 entries
• next story in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Lol, I take it I'm judging the Section 2 - A Sample Scene?
Hmwell, actually, the character profile actually helped a bit, since it told me who Sandy was. But this is irrelevant, of course ^^"
Good pace, and nice description of his reaction to arriving in the field of flowers. Nawww at how he saves the girl xD I wonder what the soldiers represent? Is something holding her back or endangering her?
Critiquing you might consider:
'Suddenly he heard the cries of a young woman,(I would use a full-stop insead of a comma here. Otherwise, it's a little awkward.) “Stop! Stop! Please let me go.”'
Hey, that's all I found. Good work
Nice random lyrics, by the way. Thanks for entering, and goodluck in the contest!
Eph -
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Thank You
Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading, commenting, and pointing out the mistake. I corrected that.
Yes, the dream sequence of the second section is what I was aiming for in your contest. Joseph is a NYC detective sergeant who is chasing a serial killer. The dream could in many ways reflect his involvement with that and his relationship to the waitress, Sandy.
Should you get a chance to read the novel, I think you'll see how well it fits. It is in the list Secret Radio Murders.
Andy
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Thank you for entering the contest 'Novels - Your Character' - I hope the contest has helped you understand your character better.
Farley is quite a well-developed character - and having read a lot of the novel that he belongs to, I could see him clearly. I enjoyed this scene with him thrust back in time - his desire to protect really shines through. Nice action scene too. -
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Thank You
Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading and commenting. I appreciate it. It was fun developing this episode of my character. We decided to use it in the novel.
I hope you had many good entries and much fun.
Andy
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Hi Andy, you certainly fulfilled the requirements of this contest’s prompts.
Kind of an unlikely hero type, our Joe comes across as a real nice guy with a few flaws; but all in all someone men or women can empathize with.
I like the way you created the dream scene. It shows Joe’s personality and his developing interest in Sandy. I'm sure this will find a home in the novel.
(He reached for his automatic and realized that he had neither gun nor holster.) This bought you a slight grin; I would have enjoyed watching what his reaction to the discovery his belt was missing, maybe the tight britches or a flapping codpiece. (But that’s just Geri being Geri
).
Geri
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Thanks Geri
When I wrote this I was not thinking about including it in the novel, but after I proofed it, I felt that it might be good in showing Joe's change in attitude toward Sandy. Build a little romance. Nothing like the knight in shining armor
. Anyway, something to think about.
Thanks for all the applause.
Andy
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Hm, I haven't been keeping up with the Secret Radio Murders lately...I'd better get back on that...
I think this is a very nice, succinct, honest, and full-bodied introduction to my man Joe. I like the way that you made the strange mideaval scene into a dream, which explains why Joe wasn't surprised that he was suddenly facing soldiers with swords and people who say "ye." I feel like I know him a bit better for this, too - did you learn anything about him while writing this? That always happens to me. Good job and good luck! 
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Thanks Irish
It was fun writing this.
So Joe is your favorite? The contest called for taking the character out of his normal environment and putting them in an entirely different situation. This seemed pretty good.
Yes, every thing I write or read about Joe makes me feel like I know him better. He is a very good character. I may know more about him than I know of myself
Andy
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Wonderfully introduced ~ I like where you have taken this character ~ good luck in your contest
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Thanks
Thanks a lot for reading this short piece and for commenting and all the applause. It looks like the competition is going to be tough. Hopefully there won't be a lot of entries.
Andy
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