It was nineteen fifty-eight and her life was about to be forever changed. She was fifteen and hadn’t a care in the world. A sophomore in high school, the raging war didn’t even bother her. All her thoughts focused on school and school activities. Why should she care about the war?1
He was the one who changed her careless attitude. It was a bright, sunny day and she was stuck working in the little coffee shop a few blocks from her home. With the continuous hustle and bustle of chattering customers, there was no peace to be had. She hated working on nice days. Carefully fixing her bright red bow, she trudged over to her next customer.2
He was a handsome young man with golden blond hair and deep blue eyes. But he was much too old for her. He had to be eighteen at least. Pushing any other thoughts of him to the back of her mind, she forced a smile.3
“What can I get you?” she chirped, trying to be cheerful.4
“Water, miss,” he said, frowning. “And the scrambled eggs would be nice as well.”5
Holding her notepad tightly, she carefully scribbled down his order. As she left, she swore she saw his eyes longingly trailing after her. Rachel couldn’t imagine why. After all, she was obviously younger than her. There was no way an older guy could be so interested in her. Could there?6
She was slightly alarmed when she brought him his order. After placing the order down in front of him, she turned to leave. Rachel was surprised as a strong, but gentle hand touched her shoulder.7
“Miss, I know this might seem a little weird, but I’d really appreciate it if you would talk to me,” he said, a soft southern accent creeping into his voice.8
He had to be from out of state.9
“Why?” she asked unsurely.10
“You see,” he began. “I’m not having the greatest day today. I’m really kind of lonely.”11
She was surprised. Shocked even. He was such a handsome man. She couldn’t imagine why anyone wouldn’t keep him company. Around those parts, all the handsome boys always seemed to have friends. Most of them even had a girlfriend.12
Sympathy immediately filled her crystal blue eyes. He was lonely. How horrible. No one, no matter who they were, deserved to be lonely. And on top of that, he was obviously having a bad day. She couldn’t help but agree.13
“I get off in an hour,” she said, brushing a dark brown curl out of her face.14
While she didn’t know much about the lonely young man, she did know that everyone should have a friend. She silently vowed to be that person who kept him company. He needed her and she would be there for him, at least as a friend, until the end.15
Well, the hour passed quickly and Rachel found herself eager to get to know him. She was thrilled to be able to help such a handsome young man. He was, after all, quite attractive. A jolt of excitement even passed through her upon seeing his waiting form.16
“I’m Rachel by the way,” she smiled as they headed down to the pier.17
“Thomas,” he said, returning her warm smile.18
The hours she spent with him on the pier were some of the best in her life. He was amazing. Thomas was not only handsome, but outgoing, funny, and kind. He loved to read and adored seeing movies.19
He was a soldier headed off for war. And he was lonely. Very lonely. He had no one to write home to. There wasn’t a single person in the world that cared about his fate. But Rachel would. Rachel would care forever. There was no one else who enticed her as much as he did.20
When he left, the letters came. She looked forward to each and every one. Every letter put a smile on her face and spring in her step. Knowing he was doing okay always lifted her mood.21
The letters were sometimes heart wrenching, but comforting just the same. He told her about how scared he was to die. He thought he was too young, but he was still proud to be fighting in the war. Thomas often told her how much he missed her. How she was always with him in his heart. How he would never love another girl. He told her how their day on the pier cheered him up and brightened his days. That one little memory made every day a little easier.22
When the letters stopped, she tried not to be too worried. Even though he’d warned her ahead of time, she’d still been scared. Never before had Rachel loved someone that much. Despite the fact that they communicated through letters, the love was still there.23
And then came that fateful Friday. Everything started out great. A fun filled football game was about to commence. She loved school sporting events. Not only were they fun, but they took her mind off of her never ending worry. For a few short hours, she could let loose and enjoy herself.24
But not that Friday. That Friday held the list of soldiers. Soldiers that had died heroes. And her soldier was on that list. Her wonderful soldier had died a war hero. But he was dead just the same.25
She was the only one who cried over him that night. She was the only one who cared and had ever cared. Rachel was the only one who would miss him, but that didn’t bother her. All she cared about was her deceased soldier.
Author notes
Travelin' Soldier- Dixie Chicks
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLBgmbXBOb8
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/dixiechicks/travelinsoldier.html
A contest entry
- War in Song by RockerGirl123.
100 points, ended June 19, 2008, 5 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Historical Fiction ~Easy Peasy!~ by Lady-Jane.
200 points, ended July 5, 2008, 17 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Anything by Vampiric souls.
225 points, ended June 19, 2008, 42 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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this is so sad, how no one would worry about him and all that, it's a really good story, so much emotion..


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The beggining. You started this off so, this is what she thinks and how old she is. It would be much better if the story was led into with description and setting etc.
But then, it got much better. I loved the dialoge, and the fact that he says i am honestly lonely. That is rare for guys to say, and there is nothing as cute as when they are honest like that. I loved it.
The end. Good, but it didn't seem to fit up with the rest of the story.
"She was the only one who cried over him that night. She was the only one who cared and had ever cared. Rachel was the only one who would miss him, but that didn’t bother her. All she cared about was her deceased soldier."
-yes, i got that she was sad and missed him, but i wish this had more emotion, turmoil and grief.
Lastly, this would be extra fantastic if it was longer. If it described their time on the beach, then went through their seperate lives during the war and the letters they wrote. That would be amazing. Great work and good luck.
-bri -
I just read the lyrics and...I don't know. Your story was great. I loved it! =D
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That was one of the most amazing things I've ever read. That sounded corny, yes, but it's true. You captured the feeling of loving someone in the war, and the fear from them and yourself that they may die. I thought this love story was very beautiful.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Thank you so much!
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1 - 5 of 5





