Present Realities, mingled with regret

My conscience, so long absent, has now made a hideously triumphant return. My flaws, once kept even from myself with well-worded lies, have been revealed. Unwillingly, I sympathize with your tears as they mingle with my own sobs, racking my body with jabs of past pain that, until now, has remained dormant. The poisonous cleansing hurts, hurts so bad. Drowning in a fountain of ongoing, overwhelming salty sorrows, I barely feel you as your hand touches mine. Your soft whispers have no meaning; there are no words and yet, despite the emptiness, I am bound only to you. Everyone else is gone, not yet mourned, never to buried, but gone. Overpowering emotions frighten me as I embrace them, too weak to force them away, back into the somber recesses of my mind where I once believed they belonged. 1

“Don’t be scared,” you whisper, rocking me gently in a sweet embrace, “I won’t leave you. Stay with me.”2

You understand, I realize as I finally comprehend your words. There’s no anger in your whisper, no terror in your tears. Regret pulls me in nonetheless as I reach out to long gone memories, people, places I can never again have. Wasted. Happiness was wasted on me; only now can I appreciate all I once had, all I’ve lost. You pull me closer and the fear of being alone evaporates as my fire is extinguished. Blind anger, even against myself, is useless. The hatred I once felt towards all of humanity, poison I can still feel, coursing through my veins, only lead to the violence I once attempted against myself; the scars, fading reminders of who I used to be, are still there, easily visible, a brilliant puurple-red, pulsing, even now that I wish they were never there. 3

A contest entry

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1 - 6 of 6
  • bridges41
    March 29

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    Excellent

    Think about this as a prose poem. It has movement from despair to hope and from isolation to comfort. You have a great grasp of nuanced vocabulary and feeling. You might read Stuart Dybek for examples of prose poems that try say a lot in a few words. Don't be afraid to experiment with longer pieces.
    Good luck, happy writing.

    beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 4, dialog: 4, characters: 4.


  • Memoirs of a Girl
    June 3, 2008

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    This piece made absolutely no sense to me, especially pertaining to my contest. I'm sorry, maybe I'm just not artistic enough or whatnot, but I just don't get it.
    Thanks for entering, though!
    -Memoirs


  • Lokkalozza
    June 2, 2008

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    wow....poignant

    I think this is a very poingnant piece. Keep writing pieces like this since you're obviously good at them. All the best, Lokka

1 - 6 of 6