I spent the past four years a wandering desperado. I went from city to city, looking for a purpose, but to no avail.2
Oh, yes. I said they caught me, had I not? So how am I here, telling another tale? Well, I escaped, of course.3
How? Thats for another time. Now, a new chapter has opened it's pages, and fate has lead us into the wild wild west that is known simply as...4
AllPoetry.5
~One Morning~6
I, Z, have been reduced to little. I used up my gazillion points. I needed some more. So with a simple change of clothes (however a complete makeover is more of an appropriate term), I strolled on into the fabled city of StoryWrite.7
I walked past the StoryWrite Cafe, where many authors - new and old - lounged around, sipping on various drinks. 8
I tossed a point out to a seemingly poor man - probably a noob, or a victim of a contest holding addiction - in exchange for today's paper. It was bylined by the regular message of the day, and cluttered with things such as the classifieds, and the comment leader board.9
The main headline was written in large, bold letters across the top of the page. It read: "Site Creator Successor Barbara creates the sixth affiliated site today: MusicWrite."10
Huh. So Barbara had become Kevin's successor? This is going to be interesting...11
I walked into the "Stories" section of SW (a pub of regular commenters) and moseyed on over to the door marked "Random". I commented every story that came my way for twenty-four straight hours, went to the bar to cash it in, and walked home. I got my self a Number Two from McKevin's and walked home, finishing half of one burger before falling asleep right there in the blue couch of my old home. 12
I awoke in dazzled haze, and, to satisfy my hunger, finished what was left of last night's dinner. I called up a mover to move some secret weaponry from my room in Free Walruses to an abandoned house in AllPoetry I had bought for a steal yesterday afternoon from my job.13
After SW had revolutionized and broken away from what was then the Republic of AllPoetry, AP became a ghost town that went into the old ages of the Wild Wild West. Word was that the Greeters had revived fallen warriors (which had died at my hand, naturally) and regrouped, retreating to the secluded safety of AP. 14
But back to the real story, the movers said they'd be at my house by five, SW time. So I had the entire morning and afternoon to waste. 15
I grabbed my wallet and keys, then left for the StoryWrite Cafe.16
On the way there, I bought today's paper from the same man. With my surplus of points, I tipped him 200 points. 17
I walked over to an empty window-side booth in the busy cafe aflame with merry chatter, ordered a coffee, and opened took a gander at the latest happenings.18
Elleploria-kazeme had finally won a gold. Sherrice... I hadn't seen her in years... Four to be exact. I took out my state-of-the-art phone, typed in her name, and put the phone to my ear, waiting for some sort of reply.19
"Hello? Anyone there?" Came her voice.20
"Hey, Sherr!" I nearly shouted. 21
"Well I'm not!" Came the rest of reply. I hate when people do that. "You know what to do: if you have a message for either me or my hubbeh Miranda, leave and we'll get back to as soon as possible!"22
So she had remarried. I'll pay her a visit eventually. But I've got a mission for now. 23
Flipping through the remaining news, I came across an ad for info on a murder in AP. I ripped it out, pocketed it, then checked my watch. It read 4:44. I ran out, and rushed home. I barely had enough time to breathe before the movers came a-knockin'.24
~At Barb's Mansion~ 25
"Barb!" GuitarShank exclaimed, slamming the door to her office behind him. After his brutal murder, he had been revived (quite haphazardly) by Yoshi97, who was revived in turn by Barbara. "Sheriff Kylia Skydancer and her Deputy SageSyren have been shot dead in a midnight shootout!" 26
Suddenly, an older, more bony-faced, and even slimmer Barbara turned around in her chair dramatically, and spoke with the commanding voice of a war general. 27
"David, I'd like you and Yoshi to investigate. You leave in an hour. I'll notify Yoshi myself, so you should go prepare."28
And with her final word, Dave took a bow, and exited stage right.29
Barb pressed a button on her phone, and, without waiting for a reply, asked for Yoshi at once.30
Within minutes, he had arrived.31
"Yoshi... I suspect this to be the doing of Z..."32
"...!"33
"He escaped our maximum security confinement over four years ago... And I have reason to believe he's back again. I trust you understand what to do?"34
"Yes." And, as did Dave, Yoshi exited stage right.35
~At AllPoetry~36
I paid the movers and sent them back to SW. I moved everything into my room. High-tech computers, vast arsenals, top-secret files... Everything. After the long ride here, I was fatigued. So I decided to take a trip to the local bar.37
I threw aside the swinging doors to the saloon, and walked in, garbed in a long black coat whose tails danced above the ground as I marched to the bar, and a blue bandanna tied around my neck. Oh, and a sexy black cowboy hat.38
As I made my way to the back of the room, I got many a look for being the new guy. One guy even pushed me into a table, spilling a man's drink.39
He shot out of his chair and stared me down, steaming mad. All he simply did was point at the dripping brandy glass on the wooden table edge.40
"Relax, buddy, I'll get you another one." I said coolly. Too coolly.41
"I DON'T WANT ANOTHER ONE!" He yelled, a second after I had turned to order his drink. He quickly pulled out some gun I couldn't see, and held it to the back of my head. As soon as he had cocked it, I whipped around and forced his arm into a position that threatened to break at the elbow; forcing him to buckle. I kneed him in the face, and pulled out my own two revolvers as the rest of the saloon did, too. 42
Suddenly, guns began to slowly point at the ground, as a woman walked in with a large, draping leather coat. She calmed the crowd with only her steps, and ordered a two cups of brandy with the voice of an angel. Not that I think her voice is angelic or anything... 43
She walked over to the angry man, handed him one, and started to take leave.44
"Who... Who are you!?" I blurted out in a shocked mumbling of words.45
She downed her entire glass, then tossed the empty cup at me (yes, I caught it).46
"Just call me... Lily. Tiger-Lily." And she mounted her horse and rode into the sunset dramatically.47
Just then I was knocked out cold, and dragged half unconscious to the other side of town, and put into a chair. When I fully awoke, I saw none other than the sheriff.48
"Hello there. I'm tallblondie, Esq. Pleased to meet you."49
"Why the hell was I knocked out!?"50
"Oh, sorry about that. I just wanted to make sure you'd stay. After all, I don't see why a mod killer like yourself would help a Greeter."51
I looked up. "I have no idea what you're talking about."52
"Don't play dumb, Ninja Bubble."53
"What do you want with me...?"54
"I have but a simple task: be my bounty hunter. I need you to track down the murderer that killed my former sheriff and deputy."55
"And I get what out of this?"56
"1,000,000 points."57
"I have no need for points."58
"And your criminal record erased, no questions asked."59
"You've persuaded me. I accept."60
~On the Other Side of Town~61
"Dave, lemme see those papers again." Yoshi asked and stuck out his hand to a fumbling Dave, who eventually retrieved them. "According to this, the boxes were delivered to... 616. What house is 616?"62
"Maybe the one with the large flashy Las Vegas-style sign?"63
"Oh."64
And with a jump-starting kick, Yoshi and Dave rode to the other side of town. Once they reached the house, they unmounted their trusted steeds and knocked on the door. When there was no answer, Dave unnecessarily tackled down the open door.65
"Ha!" Came Yoshi, walking into the dusty dwelling, fingering the revolver at his waist.66
Quietly humming the James Bond theme to himself, Dave flipped and rolled his way through the house, only to find no sign of residence.67
"That doesn't make any sense! These are the forms he filled out for a mover! They lead straight to this house!" Exasperated, Yoshi stuffed the papers in his pocket and mounted his steed. "Let's see the sheriff."68
"Hee-yaw! To the sheriff's office, Epona!" Came Dave's command from the top of the galloping mare.69
~Back at Z's House~70
Ha! The fools! I had anticipated they would be on my tail, and I took the precaution of making a secret HQ beneath the house! I saw them do everything from the comfort of my chair via camera! [Insert maniacal laugh here]71
But now, I must be getting to my mission. The first step was to interrogate the main suspects. 72
~Later~ 73
After looking through Kylia Skydancer's file, I found that she interacted in ways that produced negative effects with many townsfolk. I decided to visit them one by one. First on the list were the Terrible Twins - Cheerful-Panda and SnowRose-Wolf. My archives, and well informed they are, told me they were born into aristocracy. You know the steryotype - rich yet dumb blonds, overworked and submissive father, the whole nine yards.74
Apparently, years before, Kylia Skydancer had discovered that their father was sending his men to a rival family's oil pipeline to work over their men. He was arrested at once. Despite using their father like a tool, they loved him with all their heart, and swore vengeance on her.75
I mounted my horse and rode on a narrow dirt road that lead through woods on a small hill - the top of which was capped with a pristine mansion. Upon arrival, I hit the doorbell, which started a symphony of some classical music crap I hated. I waited, and finally, their mother opened the door. She wore a showgirl's outfit, and even had the long pipe cigarette thing that Cruella de Ville has.76
"Oh, hello."77
"Good day ma'a-"78
"Who are you and why are you here?"79
This bunny is looking for a fight, isn't she? "I'm Pierre West, the deputy filling in for SageSyren. I'm here to speak to your children."80
She looked me over, from head to town, and finally stepped aside to admit me inside.81
Everything was made of marble and other expensive materials. There were vast libraries, but the collected dust had shown they went unused.82
I was ushered into the living room where they lay chatting. I pulled up a chair and sat on it backwards (
).83"Hello. How was your day, Cheerful-Panda?"84
"My mommy says not to talk to strangers."85
"Well, I'm with the police, and you can always talk to the police."86
"Well in that case... I waslikesototallygoingtogotothestorewith my girlfriendsbutthenlikethisdudecameouttotallynowhere87
andhewasalldrunkandstuffsohewas likehittingonusbutit'sokaybecausemyBFFJillwaslike totallycoolaboutitandlikemadeajokeandthenwewent tothestoreandstuff."88
"That's uh... That's... great... But anyway... I have reason to believe you're both murderers."89
"MURDERERS!? WHERE!?
"90"... ... ... ..."91
"Hide us Mr. Police guy! I'm too young and beautiful to die!"92
"... ... What's three times four?"93
"What are you talking about? The time is two, not three or four."94
"Okay, thank you very much, but I'll be on my way." I hastily stood up and left, mouthing curses to the mother as I exited.95
So they can be crossed off the list... I guess I'll go over to the bank and pay a certain manager a visit.96
~One Horse Ride Later~97
"Mr. Stephenson... Long time, no see."98
He was bent over at a table, his back turned to me, when he shot straight up, and walked over to his desk. Pouring himself a cup of scotch, he spoke: "How did you get past the guards?" 99
"Fake badge. But you're in no position to be asking the questions." I pulled out a revolver from my belt and pointed it at him.100
"No need to be so trigger-happy... I wasn't even at the scene of the crime at the time. I even testified to the paper." He showed me a paper from the day of the murder. "It takes a half an hour to get from the press room to the bank, and they caught me as I was leaving.101
I picked up the paper and began reading. Not until I heard a distinct "chu-chuk" from behind the paper did I take caution of the fact that I had no view of him anymore.102
"There may be a large bounty for the murderer, but there's one at least ten times the size of that on YOUR head."103
I started to lower the paper when heard a gun fire. The fact that I am still here to tell you this story is proof enough that it was not Andy. I turned, and behind me was none other than Tiger-Lily, holding a shotgun. I looked at Andy, who was stunned that his own shotgun had been completely disintegrated. 104
He grabbed a pistol from his pocket and furiously shot at me, while I ducked under the table in time. I took him out with my trusty revolver; right between the eyes, might I add.105
Suddenly, security guards were bounding down the hallway to the office. 106
"Quick, through here!" She pointed to the left wall.107
"Through a window!?"108
"What other way is there!?" She exclaimed and ran through the glass wall.109
With no other choice, I ran after her. Breaking my fall, luckily, was the General Store awning. I got up, and limped inside, after Lily. I slammed my badge onto the table and asked the manager, gerifitzsimmons, for permission to the back room. With official looking metal like that, he couldn't say no.110
When back their, I asked him to fetch me some gauze strip, saying that I would pay once I wasn't on the verge of death. On the way out, a generally large piece had penetrated my ankle, and the bleeding was insatiable. When he came back, I handed Lily had taken the liberty of extracting the glass, and wrapping my ankle up for me. I asked gerifitzsimmons to sit, and I started the questions. 111
"Please, I only want peace in my humble shop. I cause no trouble!" 112
"Yes, I know you're a peace loving man. But I just wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't ask."113
"I understand..."114
"I believe you, though."115
Once my ankle was stable, I rode home and waited for the next day.116
~The Next Morning~117
Today there's a big event. The smooth political lobbyist IrishYndina is having a campaign party, and all of the greeters are to be there. I'll be able to interrogate the remaining greeters there.118
~Later That Night~119
I had dressed in my best suit, shoes, vest, jacket, everything. I even rented a carriage. But on the way there, I had the reign-holder person make a pit stop. I grabbed a bouquet and stepped out. I walked up to the door, knocked twice, then waited.120
"Yes?" Came Lily's reply?121
"Would you go to the ball thing with me?"122
"Ah what the hell."123
And in a comically fast second, she was in a dress worthy of royalty. 124
And then I found the bad guy, arrested him, and everything was normal again!125
Suzuki: That ending was crap.
Z: You haven't even been in a story for months, so shut up.
Suzuki: Because a certain CREATOR is a lazy bum.
Z: That's it! I'll show you a damn good ending!126
~At the Party~
As soon as I arrived, I found all the remaining suspects at the shindig. Well, there were only two left anyway. and only one was there. So yeah.127
It was only the newspaper editor, whichcraft. Lately, the press had been posting extremely pro-IrishYndina reviews. Being the only paper here at AP, it had an effect of making most everyone pro-Irish. Not only that, but the paper was posting slander about her opponent, Diddi. Normally, I'd have arrested her on the spot, but I was on a different mission, and could not be sidetracked.128
"So, you wanna dan-" Lily's sentence was cut short by the sound of breaking glass. Looking towards the sound's epicenter, I saw a cloaked figure and his henchmen crash through the glass ceiling on ropes... dramatically.129
He landed, and in a voice not unlike my own, commanded everyone to drop their jewelry into the bags his goons carried with them.130
"Cover me." I whispered to Lily and handed her a revolver.131
Slowly, I made my way to the bandit, who had his back turned to me. Within a foot of him, I heard a gun suddenly cock behind me, and stopped rigid with fear.132
"You ain't goin' no where." Came the malevolent voice, cracked by a shot to the... who cares? I'm free to capture the Greeter killer!133
"End of the line, murderer." I held a shotgun to his head, and he put his hands to his head, knowingly.134
"Ah, but a line is infinite, is it not?" And with a kung-fu move, he flipped me into a position that had my gun on the floor, and myself easily killable.135
His peeps came and each took a rope, then disappeared into the sky.136
"Lily, to the horses!" And off we ran, as I could have sworn I heard Yoshi and Dave yelling and chasing after me.137
~One hot and gripping horse chase later~138
Finally, my horse caught up with the last train car, and --- [cue record skipping sound thing] oh yeah, we chased him to a train [cue record getting fixed sound thing] --- I boarded. At the back with Lily, we started making our way to the front car thing. Before we could even reach the next one, we were greeted by a hooded henchman. Before I could draw my weapon, Lily had shot him dead. Moving on, we killed and killed, finally reaching the second to last car. There we were greeted by Yoshi and Dave, in a Mexican standoff with the killer and... Xtclozer-13RB!?139
"Roby!? Why the hells are you here!?"140
"Well, I just wanted in on the story after you thought I was Gamer. But for the sake of the plot... I'm in it for the stolen loot!"141
And within an instant, only me, Lily, and whats-er-face stood.142
Suddenly, the train made a sudden turn, bucking Lily onto the edge, falling at any second. 143
And in that moment I had the penultimate ultimatum: Save Lily, or catch a killer. We all know how this turns out.144
I dashed to pick up Lily, and as he fired at my back, I somersaulted away, while my revolver spat fiery death at the killer.145
Setting her down, I walked over to the body. I checked the pulse. Dead as a doorknob. Finally, I took off his cloak and all, revealing his true identity as... Me!?146
TO BE CONTINUED...147
[cue "duh-duh-duh-duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh]148
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Adding your comment:
And what a twist at the end - very Luke-Skywalker-as-Darth-Vader-esque. 
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