Once upon a time [which means that this happened long ago, and somewhere else] in the province of Trydsylvania, there lived a gentle and compassionate Rabbi named Abramowitz. He, his wife Zelda and their three sons lived in the village of Hlinka. His congregation were a peaceful, but foreign, enclave amidst the local Tryd population. The village, its hamlets, and all the land around, was part of the province controlled by a boyar named Vlad Vychansky. Vychansky was not a Tryd; but the son of a prince from an eastern tribe. He hated and abused the Tryds at every opportunity; extorting heavy ‘taxes’; and charging tolls on the roads and bridges. No one could go to the central market in the town of Loz without paying a toll, there and back. His soldiers too were from his tribe, and very loyal to him, obeying his every command.1
It was market day, and Rabbi Abramowitz wanted to go to Loz to visit his friend, Rabbi Aaronovsky. He set out early in the morning. As he came to the toll gate he saw the local Tryds lined up, with soldiers on both sides of the line. He watched as each Tryd payed his one zloty toll, then bend over so that a soldier could kick them in the rump. After being kicked, the Tryd could enter the road and continue their journey.2
When Rabbi Abramowitz reached the boom gate, he tried to hand over his coin and bend over for a kick. The soldiers stopped him. The sergeant said cheerily, “Please proceed on your way, honoured Rabbi.”3
Mystified, but thankful, the Rabbi went on his way. On reaching Loz he got into the line to enter the town. As before, each Tryd had to bend over and be kicked by one of the cruel soldiers. But, to his surprise, these soldiers also waved him through the gate unharmed. He went to see his friend, and they discussed this strange occurrence for many hours. Then Rabbi Abramowitz went to the market and bought some things his wife couldn’t find in their small village. At the town gate he went to offer his coin and bend over, when the soldiers again said, “Please proceed, honoured Rabbi.”4
The Rabbi shook his head in disbelief; but scurried on his way, still mystified. “Why,” he asked God, “are the Tryds abused, and I am given honour?” When he reached the village of Hlinka he again stood in the line to get passed the soldiers. “Surely,” he thought to himself, “the soldiers will be tired and cranky after a day on guard.” He approached the gate in trepidation. Again, the soldiers greeted him with deference and ushered him past the gate with a smile; all the time kicking every Tryd in the line. 5
“Please, Sargeant,” he asked politely. “why do you kick the Tryds, but let me pass?6
All the soldiers burst out laughing; but did not let their good humour interrupt their abuse of the Tryds.7
When they had stopped laughing the Sargeant leaned down and said patronisingly, “Silly Rabbi, kicks are for Tryds.”8
The Rabbi walked away muttering to himself; “Silly Rabbi. Now I see; those who hold power can capriciously choose whom they will terrorise.” The Rabbi went home much enlightened; but wisely started wearing a book in his pants, and carrying an extra zloty in his pockets. “Who knows,” he said to his wife and sons, “when they will tire of oppressing the locals, and start in on us.”9
Author notes
“Silly Rabbi, kicks are for Tryds”: is adapted from a cartoon narrated by Edward Everett Horton, and based on the breakfast cereal advertisement “Silly Rabbit, Trix are for kids”.
A contest entry
- Deep Waters by InksterMoxy.
475 points, ended January 19, 37 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Why do we choose to oppress minorities?
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
-
This story is really quite clever. In fact, I'm jealous. What a wonderfully clever idea! I salute you!
-
A moral question wrapped in a childlike tale.
Your story was immensely thought provoking. Do those in a position of power always abuse this power? This is a very important question that we have to ask ourselves. It is a question that I asked myself a long, long time ago. My conclusions made me what I am today.
I've never wanted to be in a position of power. I could never be a manager, leader, supervisor etc. I choose this path in life because I've always known that being in charge is a deeply corrupting position to put yourself in. As an educated man, I know my world history and I've seen what power has done to humanity. Soldiers following orders have slaughtered billions of innocent people. Why? No other reason than they were just doing what somebody else told them to do. Absoloutely pathetic. I told myself early on that I would never put myself in a position where I have to do something just because somebody tells me to do it. Equally, I promised myself that I would never be the man telling other people that they have to obey his instructions.
After all, who am I to tell anybody else what to do? I'm just another man like anybody else. I'm no better or worse than anybody. So why should I be telling another individual what s/he should or shouldn't do? Why would I have the ego to even want to tell somebody what to do?
To do so I'd have to become the kind of person that I've always despised, and I refuse to do this.
But taking this moral stand damages my life in every way possible. I still need to make money to live, so I work at minimum wage jobs where I am always on the lowest rung of the ladder.
Being at the bottom (despite having two college degrees) is going to make me less desirable to women. What woman wants a poor man with no ambition of bettering himself? None really. I know this, because I live it.
So, being in a low paid job, with no possibility of promotion (or finding a woman to love me) is bound to effect my mental well being. How can I feel good about myself when I am a total failure in every way that society judges a man?
Strangely though, I feel good about myself. I hold no power over people, and with this advantage I can treat everybody with the equal amount of respect and kindness that they deserve. I don't have to tell anybody that they have to do something, and I don't have the temptation to arbitrarily abuse my power.
Of course, living my life like this makes me a very strange man. In a culture that values monetary success over anything else I've become just another nobody. I've become (this is true) a lonely loser, whose death won't mean a thing to anyone.
But what else can a moral man do? My refusal to play the game is undoubtedly a very stupid thing to do. But when I die, I will know that I've done the right thing with my life. How many people can honestly say the same thing?
-
Enjoyable adaption
Entertaining and well put together. A fine morality tale.
I liked your timing with the understaded humour.
Nicely done
beginning: 4, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
-
THis was a fun and interesting read and you did well with it and very thought out, and yes bringing it forward from the
past was neat for it would be good for all to read, fully enjoyed and thanks . laughed at this one , and caught on at the end , which is whats suppose to happen, thanks again .
-
100
um, it was ok. It doesn't really fit my criteria. But I did like it. Nice play on that slogan, though1 thnx for entering.beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
-
Hilarious
I enjoyed that very much. At first I was just reading thinking, okay, interesting that they kick people. xD But then once I read the 'silly rabbi, kicks are for tryds' I immediately understood. And laughed. Great job. I wish our synagogue had a Rabbi I could repeat this to. =D
-
-
my-beautiful-rescue
G'Day,
Silly Rabbi was originally a "Fractuired Fairy Tale" segment on Rocky & Bullwinkle; a TV cartoon show several decades before you were born. I altered it a great deal; and tried to subtly make an ironic comment about anti-semitism.
Well if your rabbi doesn't have a sense of humour, try the kantor. I think someone who understands Yiddish would get the joke and the irony quickly.
Shalom,
JG -
-
Ahhh..Okay. I see what you're talking about.
An enjoyable story still.
And I just might try our cantor....xD
-
-
my-beautiful-rescue
Hi,
Thank you for the additional feedback.
As the Shrek character says, "people are like onions...they have layers". Stories do too.
Take the layer that suits you best, and enjoy that. Don't be tied to the writer's opinion of their own story.
I hope your Cantor enjoys it!
Bye,
JG
-
-
-
-
Excellent.
Very nicely done. Well written...consistent voice...quite credible. I didn't even see the "kick" coming! And...we even had a theme thrown in for good measure. Had me all the way to the "kick/punch" line. Tri(x)cky.
Cheerio,
GA
-
-
Gary Alexander
G'Day Ex-Jarhead,
Thanks for your read of Silly Rabbi.
I see you remember Trix cereal.
I took a punch line from Rocky & Bullwinkle/Fractured Fairy Tales, changed the story line, and added the 'theme'.
Humour is a great vehicle for carrying social commentary.
JG
-
-
rofl!
Hehe. That sounds like my old Rabbi! Duhhhhh! “Silly Rabbi, kicks are for Tryds” I literally bent over laughing at this!
Really funny!
-
-
Diddi
Hi Liz and Bob,
The Trix advert had a cartoon rabbit always trying to steal the box of Trix breahfast ceral; and the children outsmarting him, and saying: Silly Rabbit, Trix are for Kids.
In the original cartoon about Silly Rabbi, there were trolls guarding a bridge, and kicking every tryid that wanted to cross it. I decided to embellish it a bit.
JG -
Friesian
Hi,
Glad you enjoyed your visit to Trydsylvania. Do they still show that Trix advertisement on US tv?
No Friesian horses where I live; but lots of Friesian cattle.
JG
-
-
I just knew there was a punch line somewhere! When I read it, it took me a few seconds to work it out and I don't even know the cartoon!
Good fun!
Lisbeginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
Adding your comment:
1 - 15 of 15
