Chapter ((?)Probably 10ish?)1
The creature was standing on a gigantic log that was covered in long, stringy moss and bathed in green-grey light of the forest. It too was saturated in the cloudy emerald light - so much so that she could not distinguish it's true hues and shades from those surrounding the trees.
The creature had its head raised high on an arched neck, with its delicately chiseled ears pricked and its wide nostrils flared. As she watched it lifted one strong, muscular leg and stamped a hoof; strong as stone but clear and fragmented like a broken crystal. Far above it, a glittering, pearlescent horn rose, like the twined tooth of a narwhal from the creature’s forehead. Like the hoof it was crystalline, but veined beautifully by a series of deep, narrow cracks, each edged in glimmering gold.2
She caught it's gaze as it turned to face her, snorting and blowing, and her vision settled upon it's eyes, wild and glaring, pupil-less, and empty - like an endless pool of liquid silver. Looking at those eyes Mackenzie felt she could stare at those bottomless pits, look into those orbs of metallic nothingness, forever, and yet never truly glimpse the something that she was sure lay somewhere, deeply buried and hidden, beneath them.
It was unnerving, both beautiful and sorrow-filled at the same time, and it awakened something deep inside her, something she could not understand nor comprehend.
An overwhelming sense of misery and longing filled her, and she did the only thing she could to escape from it, to escape from herself.3
She turned and ran. 4
She crashed violently through the undergrowth, crushing the seedlings and snapping many of the saplings she had strived so tirelessly to save the day before. 5
And angry twig from a nearby tree snapped out, dealing a sharp, stinging blow across her right cheek. She felt a slightly raised, probably red welt appear simultaneously where the thin stick had swiped her, but she ran on. Her new found fear drove her on, and on, even when her legs were straining painfully and her hoarse breath was coming in desperate, ragged gasps.6
She slipped and fell several times, grazing her elbows and knees and reopening the old scars from her fight with Saprinx.7
Unknown to her, as she fled, was the fact that at the exact same moment she had turned her back, maybe even a second before, the unicorn had wheeled away as well, and vanished into the overwhelmingly dark, foreign shadows of the Otherside.8
There was an unearthly red flash beside her, then Hawkeye was galloping along beside her. His long, ebony legs kept pace with her, as he ran next to her; a strong, silent shape; a solid wall of comfort. He didn't try to stop her, even when she tripped and twisted her ankle, and when at last she collapsed, exhausted and breathless at the cool, secure base of a giant fir, he was still there. He stood with her while she sobbed soundlessly and uncontrollably, and he watched over her whilst she slept the restless, fevered sleep of one who has been held for too long under an enchantment. 9
In the morning, when she awoke, free at last from the unicorn's hold, he was still there, at her side.
She sat up, her long black hair flowing loosely down her back - she must have lost her hair tie last night, and blinked.10
Hawkeye opened one eye, and raised a sheltering red wing so she could get up. His brown, silver-tinted eyes met her fiery green ones, and the burning, nearly unbreakable bond between them drew them instinctively closer. 11
"I really mucked up, didn't I?” she sighed. "I forgot the Immuntiy only extends as far as lesser immortals." She shivered. That creature had to have been at least an upper immortal, if not a higher one.
Hawkeye nodded solemnly. "Turning your back on a higher immortal is a sign of high disrespect. I'm not sure why she chose to surprise you like that, but I do know your actions won't be taken lightly"
"I don't know what happened..." She groped for words. "Its eyes were so..."
"Lifeless" Hawkeye finished. "I know, why do you think I chose to live with my mother's herd in the Skyfields? I could've stayed with my father, in the shadows of the Otherside, if I'd chosen too. I had enough of the Unicorn's blood in me to have been allowed to remain there, but I knew they'd never accept me, a mere cendling, a mere halfling." He spat the last word out like it was a deadly poison. "Besides" he continued, "Luverus would've torn me to shreds"12
Mackenzie shivered again, not for the first time this morning. She had only seen Hawkeye's half-brother once, as silhouette, in a dream they had once shared, but the ominous dark fog that had flowed ceaselessly around his blurry outline had been enough to convince her to steer well clear of him. 13
"What now?" she sighed. If she was likely to be attacked by a troupe of higher immortal unicorns, she'd rather not be caught by surprise...
"Go home" Hawkeye muttered. "And keep your nose out of trouble. If they attack, they'll source me first, and I will be ready" he growled darkly. His brown eyes were tinted lightly with a hint of pure, venomous silver, and his ears were pinned back. Mackenzie almost took a step back in surprise; the change had been so sudden.14
She found herself wishing that he'd never inherited the fiery anger that his sire, Azarael, was renowned for. She liked the gentle, strictly ruled Pegasi so much more...15
"Home" she repeated suddenly, and automatically looked up. Above her the sun was rising, and the night was quickly and surely vanishing. Already a gentle pink glow was flooding the cobalt sky. It was nearly morning!
"But I'll never make it back in time!" Panic seized her. What would her mum do if she found out her eldest daughter had been out all night? How would she react? A cold chill seeped through Mackenzie's bones, despite the warm, golden sunshine which was beginning to illuminate the land.
"If you fly there'll be plenty of time" Hawkeye spoke calmly, but the suggestion seemed almost sinister, like a hidden snare lying in wait. She couldn't fly! She was afraid of heights! She gulped. How many times had she told Hawkeye she wouldn’t fly?
She hurriedly scrolled through her repertoire of excuses.16
“What if you’re seen?” she tried.
Hawkeye didn’t even answer. He simply vanished, and reappeared again a few metres away. Mackenzie gulped back the nausea of seeing him appear out of thin air.
“Great” she thought “I’ll be flying hundreds of metres above the ground on something I can’t even see! Really encouraging for a first flight!”
“But…” she struggled to think of another excuse, and failed. She was simply too tired, and too frightened by the prospect of flying. Besides, she’d never admit the real reason why she didn’t want to fly – what if I fall off?
Instead she stumbled forward, and tried to focus on what Hawkeye was telling her.
“Grip with your knees…hold on to…don’t try to steer because…” the words washed over her. Dizzily she climbed on and grasped as tightly as she could. Hawkeye shook his head impatiently at this, and she nearly threw up from anxiety and fear. A single, confident thought popped into her head.
"You’re pulling on my mane…"17
Despite all of her instincts Mackenzie vaguely felt herself relinquishing her overly secure hold on Hawkeye’s mane, and then Hawkeye took a running jump and physically leapt into the air, his fiery red wings snapping swiftly and powerfully out on either side just before they began to succumb to the forces of gravity.18
The first few moments of flight were chaos to Mackenzie. All she could see and hear were Hawkeye’s wildly flapping wings as he pumped them powerfully and they slowly gained altitude. The updraft was awful, and she was too afraid to look down and watch the ground dropping further and further away.19
Once they were settled in the air it was a bit better, and after a short while she risked a quick glimpse down, out of curiosity. She wished she hadn’t. They were hundreds of feet above the ground, and everything was absurdly tiny. The few tiny cars motoring down the plasticine road looked unreal. It was like a dream. A bad dream.20
It was at that exact moment that two things happened. The first was that Hawkeye disappeared. The second was the appearance of a fully fledged Pegasus diving headlong at full speed towards them.21
The creature was standing on a gigantic log that was covered in long, stringy moss and bathed in green-grey light of the forest. It too was saturated in the cloudy emerald light - so much so that she could not distinguish it's true hues and shades from those surrounding the trees.
The creature had its head raised high on an arched neck, with its delicately chiseled ears pricked and its wide nostrils flared. As she watched it lifted one strong, muscular leg and stamped a hoof; strong as stone but clear and fragmented like a broken crystal. Far above it, a glittering, pearlescent horn rose, like the twined tooth of a narwhal from the creature’s forehead. Like the hoof it was crystalline, but veined beautifully by a series of deep, narrow cracks, each edged in glimmering gold.2
She caught it's gaze as it turned to face her, snorting and blowing, and her vision settled upon it's eyes, wild and glaring, pupil-less, and empty - like an endless pool of liquid silver. Looking at those eyes Mackenzie felt she could stare at those bottomless pits, look into those orbs of metallic nothingness, forever, and yet never truly glimpse the something that she was sure lay somewhere, deeply buried and hidden, beneath them.
It was unnerving, both beautiful and sorrow-filled at the same time, and it awakened something deep inside her, something she could not understand nor comprehend.
An overwhelming sense of misery and longing filled her, and she did the only thing she could to escape from it, to escape from herself.3
She turned and ran. 4
She crashed violently through the undergrowth, crushing the seedlings and snapping many of the saplings she had strived so tirelessly to save the day before. 5
And angry twig from a nearby tree snapped out, dealing a sharp, stinging blow across her right cheek. She felt a slightly raised, probably red welt appear simultaneously where the thin stick had swiped her, but she ran on. Her new found fear drove her on, and on, even when her legs were straining painfully and her hoarse breath was coming in desperate, ragged gasps.6
She slipped and fell several times, grazing her elbows and knees and reopening the old scars from her fight with Saprinx.7
Unknown to her, as she fled, was the fact that at the exact same moment she had turned her back, maybe even a second before, the unicorn had wheeled away as well, and vanished into the overwhelmingly dark, foreign shadows of the Otherside.8
There was an unearthly red flash beside her, then Hawkeye was galloping along beside her. His long, ebony legs kept pace with her, as he ran next to her; a strong, silent shape; a solid wall of comfort. He didn't try to stop her, even when she tripped and twisted her ankle, and when at last she collapsed, exhausted and breathless at the cool, secure base of a giant fir, he was still there. He stood with her while she sobbed soundlessly and uncontrollably, and he watched over her whilst she slept the restless, fevered sleep of one who has been held for too long under an enchantment. 9
In the morning, when she awoke, free at last from the unicorn's hold, he was still there, at her side.
She sat up, her long black hair flowing loosely down her back - she must have lost her hair tie last night, and blinked.10
Hawkeye opened one eye, and raised a sheltering red wing so she could get up. His brown, silver-tinted eyes met her fiery green ones, and the burning, nearly unbreakable bond between them drew them instinctively closer. 11
"I really mucked up, didn't I?” she sighed. "I forgot the Immuntiy only extends as far as lesser immortals." She shivered. That creature had to have been at least an upper immortal, if not a higher one.
Hawkeye nodded solemnly. "Turning your back on a higher immortal is a sign of high disrespect. I'm not sure why she chose to surprise you like that, but I do know your actions won't be taken lightly"
"I don't know what happened..." She groped for words. "Its eyes were so..."
"Lifeless" Hawkeye finished. "I know, why do you think I chose to live with my mother's herd in the Skyfields? I could've stayed with my father, in the shadows of the Otherside, if I'd chosen too. I had enough of the Unicorn's blood in me to have been allowed to remain there, but I knew they'd never accept me, a mere cendling, a mere halfling." He spat the last word out like it was a deadly poison. "Besides" he continued, "Luverus would've torn me to shreds"12
Mackenzie shivered again, not for the first time this morning. She had only seen Hawkeye's half-brother once, as silhouette, in a dream they had once shared, but the ominous dark fog that had flowed ceaselessly around his blurry outline had been enough to convince her to steer well clear of him. 13
"What now?" she sighed. If she was likely to be attacked by a troupe of higher immortal unicorns, she'd rather not be caught by surprise...
"Go home" Hawkeye muttered. "And keep your nose out of trouble. If they attack, they'll source me first, and I will be ready" he growled darkly. His brown eyes were tinted lightly with a hint of pure, venomous silver, and his ears were pinned back. Mackenzie almost took a step back in surprise; the change had been so sudden.14
She found herself wishing that he'd never inherited the fiery anger that his sire, Azarael, was renowned for. She liked the gentle, strictly ruled Pegasi so much more...15
"Home" she repeated suddenly, and automatically looked up. Above her the sun was rising, and the night was quickly and surely vanishing. Already a gentle pink glow was flooding the cobalt sky. It was nearly morning!
"But I'll never make it back in time!" Panic seized her. What would her mum do if she found out her eldest daughter had been out all night? How would she react? A cold chill seeped through Mackenzie's bones, despite the warm, golden sunshine which was beginning to illuminate the land.
"If you fly there'll be plenty of time" Hawkeye spoke calmly, but the suggestion seemed almost sinister, like a hidden snare lying in wait. She couldn't fly! She was afraid of heights! She gulped. How many times had she told Hawkeye she wouldn’t fly?
She hurriedly scrolled through her repertoire of excuses.16
“What if you’re seen?” she tried.
Hawkeye didn’t even answer. He simply vanished, and reappeared again a few metres away. Mackenzie gulped back the nausea of seeing him appear out of thin air.
“Great” she thought “I’ll be flying hundreds of metres above the ground on something I can’t even see! Really encouraging for a first flight!”
“But…” she struggled to think of another excuse, and failed. She was simply too tired, and too frightened by the prospect of flying. Besides, she’d never admit the real reason why she didn’t want to fly – what if I fall off?
Instead she stumbled forward, and tried to focus on what Hawkeye was telling her.
“Grip with your knees…hold on to…don’t try to steer because…” the words washed over her. Dizzily she climbed on and grasped as tightly as she could. Hawkeye shook his head impatiently at this, and she nearly threw up from anxiety and fear. A single, confident thought popped into her head.
"You’re pulling on my mane…"17
Despite all of her instincts Mackenzie vaguely felt herself relinquishing her overly secure hold on Hawkeye’s mane, and then Hawkeye took a running jump and physically leapt into the air, his fiery red wings snapping swiftly and powerfully out on either side just before they began to succumb to the forces of gravity.18
The first few moments of flight were chaos to Mackenzie. All she could see and hear were Hawkeye’s wildly flapping wings as he pumped them powerfully and they slowly gained altitude. The updraft was awful, and she was too afraid to look down and watch the ground dropping further and further away.19
Once they were settled in the air it was a bit better, and after a short while she risked a quick glimpse down, out of curiosity. She wished she hadn’t. They were hundreds of feet above the ground, and everything was absurdly tiny. The few tiny cars motoring down the plasticine road looked unreal. It was like a dream. A bad dream.20
It was at that exact moment that two things happened. The first was that Hawkeye disappeared. The second was the appearance of a fully fledged Pegasus diving headlong at full speed towards them.21
Author notes
Please Note: This is not the beginning, or ending of the story. It is just a random bit in the middle. When I add more bits I'll tell you if they either come before or after this bit. Sorry if it gets confusing! Eventually (if and when) I finish the story I'll post it again in order, with any adjustments.
A contest entry
- For Writers Fourteen Or Under by Andy Stephenson.
350 points, ended June 10, 2008, 28 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Desperate for a bit of -- fantasy? by Asfand.
350 points, ended July 5, 2008, 18 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please answer truthfully. Suggestions for improvements are welcome.
Comments
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WOW this is great Katherine! Love everything about it, and all the good dialouge and discriptiveness! (not sure if thats a word but oh well)
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Of course I can only give a general view on the story
Hi Caterell,welcome to the contest. What you gave us was well written
.
The plot moved along with a good flow, your many characters were colorful and visible, and the dialogue fit perfectly with the activity taking place.
Of course I can only give a general view on the story itself since obviously an awful lot has gone on before this section. Perhaps I will get to read the earlier chapters at another time and find what I thought now was all wet
.
But it was a good active read and very enjoyable.
Mostly while I could understand what was happening at this point in your tale, I was confused by why it was occurring. Of course when you enter into the middle of the story, you have to expect this.
Thanks so much for entering the contest and allowing us a glimpse of your writing ability
.
Geri


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Well,
It is an interesting piece of the story. I wasn't quite sure what Hawkeye is. She was frightened by a unicorn. Hmm. I thought unicorns were supposed to be good creatures. This is well written and entertaining, but of course; feels incomplete.
Thanks for entering 'For Writers Fourteen Or Under'
Andy

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Hawkeye is a cendling, which in this story, is a half-bred, between a unicorn and a pegasus, hence both wings and a horn.
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