Her scared eyes widened as she stared death itself in the face. Her body was frozen with fear as she clutched at the sides of her pants. Without anyone around anymore, he was bound to probably kill her too. Flicking pupils fell upon her loved ones' dead bodies on the floor, tears poured over the bottom of her eyes.
Author notes
This is the preface, or inside look at what will happen. You know, try to get you to see if you want to read it or not.
Comments
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ones = ones' as it is possessive.
Hm, try to rephrase the last line, as the word "eyes" is repeated too quickly. It ruins a very well-written piece.
Intriguing, definitely.
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Thanks. And, I fixed it. Better?
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"flicking" needs a capital F.
And yes, much better now. XD Still as intriguing.
HT -
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Damn spelling. And, thanks.
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