Like a Tear from an Angel's Eye

Avaritia screamed at the top of her lungs, a heart wrenching cry that reverberated off the empty walls. The music was lost from her voice, replaced with a guttural wail that shattered the very glass of the windows. I tried in vain to shield my ears from the awful sound, a deathly scream which presented no indication of an end.1

Above the wail rose cruel laughter, a malicious tone only one person, one thing, was capable of producing.2

“Nero!” I screamed; the wind began to pick up speed, adding to the cacophony surrounding us. It stung my eyes, inducing tears and forcing my lids shut.3

I felt his hands around my throat, pulling me back and into his stone-like chest. His palm closed over my mouth as I tried to scream, his laugh echoing cruelly in my ear.4

“How are you going to save her, Avaritia?” he mocked. “You can’t even save yourself!”5

Avaritia’s piercing wail never faltered, even as Nero locked his arms around my waist and, flapping his enormous black wings, lifted me high into the stormy sky. 6

“Put me down!” I shrieked, flailing vainly against his firm hold.7

I could see a small smile surface in his malicious expression. “Terribly sorry, pet,” he said softly. “You’ve involved yourself in a dangerous game, involving yourself with her. You’ve made yourself a pawn.”8

“I’m not going to let you use me!” I spat angrily.9

“That’s not up to you, love. That’s up to the people with power. Namely me.” 10

“What about Ava?”11

He laughed maniacally. “Avaritia? Power? That’s really funny. You’re funny.”12

I glared up at him. “Ava’s more powerful than you’ll ever be.”13

He frowned. “Aww, poor darling. You still think she’s going to save you.”14

“She will.”15

“She lost her wings,” he retorted. “She may as well be dead.”16

“Let me go,” I growled, squirming within his tight grasp.17

“No.”18

“Let me go,” I repeated.19

Nero thought for a moment before he smiled. “Okay.”20

His hands broke free from me, and I was suddenly freefalling thousands of feet towards the earth. I screamed as I fell through the fog, closer and closer to my death. The trees appeared like spears within my sights, growing taller and more deathly as I fell farther. I clenched my eyes shut, preparing for the force of the impact that would doubtlessly turn me into a sickly pile of blood, flesh, and bones.21

I never hit the ground. A pair of hands took hold of me and suddenly I was high into the air, staring down at my former doom. But I didn’t stop screaming.22

“See, pet? You’re worse off without me.”23

I just kept screaming, my lungs burning with the effort. I heard Nero telling me to be quiet, but my mind was too deep in shock to oblige.24

“Shut up!”25

I had almost died. I had almost fallen to my death.26

“Shut up!”27

I felt a strong blow to the bridge of my skull, and my scream stopped short as the world faded to black, and Nero calmly said, “You should have listened, love.”28

*I sighed as I tied the apron around my waist automatically. The restaurant was always the same – same routine, same bad tips, eerily similar faces. I put my pen and pad in my apron’s pocket, and disdainfully glanced the floor over. With a deep sigh I walked to my first table. “How can I help you?”29

I was greeted with a beautiful smile. “Hi, darling. Would you be so kind as to get me a Shirley Temple?”30

I frowned, unaccustomed to such politeness. Raising an eyebrow, I glanced the girl over. She was brunette, her hair tied into two long braids. She wore a brilliant white tank top, exposing her voluptuous chest in a less than subtle fashion. Her facial features couldn’t be described as anything but perfect – perfectly proportioned, perfectly defined. Her nose and lips were petite but elegant, and her ears were pierced from the lobe up. And her eyes were crystalline blue – an odd combination with her hair color.31

She bit her lower lip lightly as she looked at me; a mischievous glint was in her eye. “You know what we should do?”32

“Maintain a professional customer-waitress relationship?” I said indifferently. 33

She laughed; I couldn’t help but notice how melodic her voice was. “We should play a game.”34

“No thank you.”35

“Aww, are you sure?” she said with a pout.36

I nodded, and walked off to get her drink. She pushed the issue again as I gave it to her, and again I declined. 37

I walked off to wait my next table, not looking at the face that occupied it. “What can I get for you?” I asked as cheerfully as I possibly could. 38

“You.”39

I looked up. “Damn it. Just what I needed today.”40

Chris looked at me with a playful smile. “How are you today, beautiful?”41

“Less than happy to see you,” I retorted. 42

“Aww, don’t be like that, baby. You’re breaking my poor little heart.”43

“Is it killing you?” I asked hopefully. 44

“No, it just makes me want you more,” he said with a smile.45

I rolled my eyes. “Chris, leave me alone. I’m not going to go on a date with you.”46

“She wouldn’t do anything with me either,” the girl from the other table chimed in nonchalantly, sipping on her Shirley Temple with a dreamy look on her face.47

“Well if you won’t go with her, you’re obviously not lesbian,” he pondered. “So why won’t you go out with me?”48

“How do I loathe thee? Let me count the ways.” My hands out, I began to count on my fingers, “You’re always in here despite how much I hate you, you think that just because you’re my boss’ little brother I’ll give you a chance, you kind of smell bad, I hate you, your eyes almost look like piranhas’, your smile reveals way more about you than you know, and did I mention I hate you?”49

He just stared at me with his predatory eyes. “I don’t buy it,” he said after a moment.50

I blinked. “What is there to not buy?”51

“I don’t buy your reasons. I think you’re hiding something from me, and I’m going to figure out what it is if it kills me.”52

“If you’re not careful, it just might,” I growled.53

He shook his head, getting to his feet. His face was mere centimeters away from mine. “I’ll get you eventually, beautiful.” His hand brushed my cheek lightly, and he leaned forward and kissed my forehead. “See you later.”54

I stood where I had frozen as he walked out the glass door, and the beautiful girl at the other table stared at me curiously. “You okay?” she asked in concern.55

“Yeah,” I muttered. “I just have to go scrub my face with turpentine.”56

She frowned. “That doesn’t sound like you’re okay.” She gestured to the seat across from her. “You want to talk about it?”57

The restaurant was entirely empty aside from her, so rather than making an excuse to rush out of there I complied to her request. I sighed heavily as I sat down, her crystal blue eyes examining me carefully.58

“So who was he?” she asked with a frown. “He was kind of cute; I’ve never seen someone react like that to someone that adorable.”59

I laughed bitterly. “Yeah, he’s pretty cute.” He had blonde hair and green eyes, always with a look like they were stalking prey. It just so happened that the prey happened to be me. “But it’s complicated.”60

“Do tell.”61

I raised an eyebrow. “Why would I tell a complete stranger my personal problems?”62

She grinned, her perfect teeth glistening in the light. “I have an honest face.”63

“I’ve seen honest faces. They usually come attached to liars.”64

“I can’t lie,” she said with a smirk. “Cross my heart.”65

“Well for one thing, he’s my boss’ little brother. Wouldn’t that be a breach of contract or something?”66

“That’s not the real issue,” she accused.67

“No,” I admitted. “It’s not. It’s…I guess it’s my dad. He was such an asshole when I was growing up, and he blamed my uncle’s attacks on me, like I seduced him or something. He made me feel so unclean, and they both made it so I really can’t trust any guys.”68

“Really? That’s so interesting.”69

“Interesting doesn’t even begin to cover it.”70

“Yeah, I know. So how many boyfriends have you had?”71

Again I laughed bitterly. “One.”72

“What happened to him?” 73

I paused. “He died.”74

She winced apologetically. “I’m so sorry.”75

“No, don’t worry about,” I assured here, ignoring the sting in my heart. “It was years ago. And by years I mean two.”76

She appeared to be deep in thought, a puzzled look on her face. It was soon replaced with the mischievous glint in her eye. “So how many girlfriends have you had?” she giggled.77

My jaw dropped. “None of your business!”78

She laughed wholeheartedly. “So that means there’s been more than one! That’s great!”79

“Shut up!” I commanded, a little irritated. “Who are you, anyways?”80

Her sweet smile returned to her face as she let her laughter die down. “I’m Ava.”*81

Black satin sheets caressed my skin as I rolled onto my side with a groan. I opened my eyes; the room was dark, a few stray candles providing the only light and casting shadows about the room. I could make the outlines of a tall lamp and the frame of the bed I was lying on, and moonlight was shining through the glass doors at the end of the room, despite the black curtains drawn in front of them. I got to my feet and walked to the glass doors, and when they weren’t locked I threw them open and walked slowly onto the balcony. Looking down, I only saw churning black waters beating against the rocky shore. Apparently I had been taken to an island in my unconsciousness.82

The black waters were unmatched in beauty to the sparkling stars hanging above me. Leaning on the edge of the balcony and staring up at the radiant sky, I forgot the situation that had taken hold of me, and the dilemma I now found myself in. It was just me and the stars, each one dancing for me to its own special song that only I could hear. The night was filled with music.83

“Hello, darling.” I scarcely heard his voice as I continued to be engrossed in the stars. His footsteps approaching me didn’t even faze me. 84

“Did you know that you’re beautiful in the moonlight?” I was too entranced to respond; his words only echoed in my ears. “Your golden hair, your sparkling emerald eyes…you’re absolutely glowing.”85

I could feel his breath upon my neck, but I was still too spellbound to do anything. He gently pushed my hair to the side, exposing my skin to the night air. “I’d do anything to have you,” he whispered in my ear. His lips descended to my neck, and I could feel him kiss me lightly but longingly. I shuddered beneath his touch and the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end, to have something so utterly evil touching my skin. 86

I broke out of my trance, spinning to face him. He caught me by the arms, and I stared up at him with terrified eyes as he held me fast in my place. He looked down at me, a strange blend of compassion and lust consuming his usually malevolent eyes. His raven black wings loomed above me, blocking out the moon and casting me in shadow. Hesitating, he slowly leaned down and kissed me softly on the lips. 87

My eyes widened with surprise, and it took me a few moments before I could gather myself enough to push him away. “What are you doing?” I shrieked. 88

He used his black wings to balance himself from the force of my blow, his expression first contorted in surprise and then with a wicked smile. “What’s the matter, love? You didn’t seem to be complaining when I was breathing in your ear.”89

“I was…I…”90

He laughed at me mockingly. “It appears that poor little pet doesn’t know what she wants.”91

I glared at him angrily. “I have a name, you know.”92

“Oh, and what would that be, darling?”93

“Luna.”94

“Luna. Like moonlight. How perfectly fitting,” he droned. I continued to glare at him as he spoke, his words no longer echoing but rather piercing sharply.95

“Stop playing games with me, Nero,” I snapped. “What do you want from me? Why did you bring me here?”96

“Something so beautiful just has to be kept,” he replied. 97

“Don’t play games with me,” I repeated.98

“I told you before, you made yourself a pawn in me and Avaritia’s personal war. She should know by now that involving herself with people is just going to get them killed.”99

My heart skipped a beat. “You’re going to kill me?”100

“No,” he replied. “I told you, something so beautiful just has to be kept.”101

Suddenly I realized what he intended to do with me. “You’re keeping me as a pet!” I shouted angrily. 102

He smiled. “And what a pretty pet you are.”103

“Don’t talk down to me!” I snapped. “What gives you the right to keep me here? I’m a person, damn it! You can’t do this to me!”104

He laughed wholeheartedly. “Exactly. You’re a person. I’m an angel. You can deny it all you want but you and I both know who here is above who.”105

“I’m above you,” I growled. “I’ve always been above you, and I will always be above you.”106

He rushed forward angrily and grabbed me by the hair, yanking downward fiercely. I yelped, tears springing to my eyes. He moved his face mere inches in front of mine, his black eyes consumed with wrath. “What do you think you were to her, Luna?” he snapped. “You think you were her friend? You think you meant anything to her? No, you were nothing more than a pet! It’s all you’ll ever be, and that’s all you’ll be here, so you’d better get used to it!”107

He let go of me violently, knocking me into the balcony railing. Tears still in my eyes, I furiously ran past him and into the room I had woken up in, the room that would be my cage, and slammed the glass doors. One of them shattered under the force; I didn’t care. I just collapsed on the black satin sheets and cried.108

*“Luna!” a singsong voice called out halfway through my shift. I turned from the table I was waiting to see a particularly perfect face staring back at my warmly from the doorway. 109

“Ava!” I greeted enthusiastically. The sun was beginning to set that winter night, and the dying rays were glowing behind her chocolate brown hair, making her appear almost angelic. I would have easily believe she was, even just by looking at her. Talking to her made it almost seem real. 110

“Come on, darling,” she shouted. “We’re out of here.”111

“Wait, what?” I looked at her in confusion. “No, I’m on the clock. I can’t leave!”112

Ava thought for a moment. “Madam!” she shouted louder than humanly necessary. “I’m kidnapping Luna!” 113

“Alright!” my boss shouted back from her office. My jaw dropped. It never ceased to amaze me how easily Ava won over anyone she met. 114

I eagerly untied my apron and tossed it to one of the other waitresses, leaving behind the stunned family at my table. She linked arms with me giddily as we walked out the door, her head held high as we entered the snowy streets.115

“So what are we doing?” I asked her expectantly. 116

She sounded like a little child as she said, “I want to play in the snow!”117

I could only laugh. “You dragged me from work to play in the snow?”118

“Yeah! Doesn’t it sound fun? I know the perfect place!” With that she grabbed my hand and dragged me down 5th Avenue, away from the restaurant and gradually toward the park in the center of town.119

It was filled with pine trees, looming like ancient gods against the city skyline. The snow clung to the branches longingly, afraid to touch the ground. Hand in hand we walked through the magically white paradise, weaving our way beneath the trees in silence, the only light coming from the moon above and Ava’s magnificent smile. 120

Eventually we made our way into a small clearing, surrounded by trees and completely cut off from the rest of the world. “It’s so beautiful,” I murmured in wonder. 121

“I know, isn’t it?” she giggled. She fell backwards into the snow excitedly, moving her arms and legs back and forth and smoothing out the powdery snow beneath her. After a few moments she got to her feet, leaving behind the most perfect snow angel I’d ever seen.122

“How the hell did you do that?” I gasped. It even appeared to have feathers imprinted in its snowy mold.123

“It’s just a snow angel,” she said with a shrug. 124

I leaned back, falling into the snow, and made a snow angel in the same fashion Ava had. When I stood up, there were handprints and marks from the heel of my shoes tainting the image. “See? Nothing like it.”125

“Everything like it.”126

I shook my head with a smile, and stared up at the sky in wonder. A thousand stars had appeared in the gaps between the trees as the night had darkened, weaving an intricate web of light above us. The moon was shining behind a large pine, mere shreds of its light penetrating the clearing. “Wow,” I murmured.127

“My body’s not that nice, darling,” Ava giggled. I looked back at her from the stars to find her stripping down to nothing, her clothes cast into a careless pile atop her snow angel.128

“What are you doing?” I asked in concern. “You’re going to catch hypothermia!”129

She just laughed. “I never get sick,” she boasted proudly. She bit her lower lip seductively. “Do you want my body, Luna?” she cooed, a come-hither look in her eyes. 130

I said nothing, but staring at her I knew I did; she had an ideally lean figure highlighted by her perfect hourglass shape. Her skin was creamy and radiant, accentuated by the light from the sky above, and her breasts were just as delicate and defined as the rest of her features. There was no question that she was beautiful. How could I not want her?131

I watched her run about in the snow, spinning and dancing at her whim. It was impossible to look away from the spectacle as her body moved with such lithe grace and precision. “Dance with me, Luna!” she shouted excitedly. 132

She rushed up to me grab my hands, but unfortunately for her there was a tree root hidden by the snow. She caught her foot and tumbled, grabbing my hand as she fell and pulling me down on top of her. 133

Both of us blushed as we stared at each other in surprise. “That really was an accident,” she mumbled uncertainly.134

“But this isn’t,” I replied quietly, gently pressing my lips against hers. I could feel her gasp, and she entwined her fingers in my hair and pulled me closer as we lay in the snow, our lips pressed together like lovers. 135

I pulled away slowly, still smiling down at the girl I had just realized I loved. “You’re amazing, Luna,” she whispered. I could feel her shivering beneath me in the cold of the snow.136

“You’re an angel,” I replied.*137

It all made sense to me now. I hadn’t seen Avaritia’s wings until the day before, the day she had lost them, but it all made sense now. Her radiant looks, her singsong voice, her beautiful character. She had been my angel – my guardian angel. And I did something stupid, and I had lost her forever, and she had lost herself.138

Nero didn’t know it, but he hadn’t caused her to lose her wings. I did.139

I felt like I was living in a dream. I was caught between two angels – one with wings as black as night, the other with fallen, pure white feathers that failed now to give her flight. I had caught myself in a war between good and evil, between the dark and the light. Not only that, but I had become the object of both light and dark’s affections, their pet and hopeful lover. 140

What did this say about my character? Am I just a clash of good and evil in humanity? Which side really has my heart?141

The answer to this was easy. Ava. There was no question in my mind that Ava had my heart, forever and always. But there was something strange about Nero, and then there was Chris. Maybe Nero was right. I had let him kiss me; I didn’t know what I want. 142

I hugged my knees to my chest, glancing around my room with a meld of fear and something I couldn’t identify…acceptance? The walls were deep purple in color, with black curtains hanging over the windows and the glass doors, but still failing to keep the light of the moon from penetrating. The sheets and pillows were black satin, fit for royalty. All the furniture was sleek and black, but still somehow appeared ancient. Macabre paintings adorned the walls, all in shades of black, gray, and red. 143

The whole room screamed darkness. Maybe this was where I belonged.144

“Do you like the paintings?” I hadn’t heard him come in, and I jumped to my feet in surprise.145

“They’re dark,” I said simply. 146

He laughed. “Angel of Darkness, at your service.” He shook his head, saying, “What did you expect, pet? I don’t have a light and fluffy side.”147

“Don’t call me pet,” I commanded irritably. 148

He cocked his head to the side as he looked at me. “Why shouldn’t I? You’re mine.”149

“No, I’m not. Just because you have me right now doesn’t mean this is where I belong.”150

Nero laughed again. “This is where you belong. Like it or not, you’re a creature of darkness, just like me. You can’t tell me you don’t feel at home here.”151

He was right; I couldn’t tell him that. But I could lie. “Yes, I can.”152

Nero dropped the issue, sitting at the edge of my bed expectantly. He gestured for me to sit beside him, and I obliged suspiciously, ready to bolt if the situation called for it. “It takes a lot to get a guardian angel. How did you come to require the company of the Angel of Light?”153

*I walked in the front door of my apartment, tossing my things carelessly into a pile on my recliner. I immediately walked over to my answering machine, where the red light was flashing to tell me that someone had called. I clicked the button, walking over to the cabinet and grabbing a glass. The first message was from Ava, asking whether I wanted to go to the movies with her later that night. 154

I froze before the fridge as the second message began to play. I recognized the raspy voice immediately “Hello, Luna. I just thought I’d let you know I’m finally out of jail. Ten years is a long time, Luna, and you’re the one who put me there. I can’t wait to see how much you’ve changed; you’re probably more beautiful than before. Be seeing you soon.”155

The glass I had been holding shattered to the floor, glass shards scattering across the tile as I began to cry. I rushed into my bedroom and collapsed on my bed, failing to notice an unsealed envelope lying on my pillow. My fingertips brushed against the edge, and I picked it up in confusion. The last person who had been in my bed was Ava, and I knew she hadn’t left it there.156

With shaking hands I opened the envelope. “No,” I shrieked as I saw what was inside. “No!”157

It was a picture taken of me at the age of twelve. My arms and legs were bound with thick rope, and duct taped covered my mouth. I was lying upon a disheveled bed, my body completely naked.158

“Hello, lover.” 159

“No!” I shrieked again, spinning to see a tall man with a lusty gaze in his eyes. In his hands was a thick roll of rope. 160

“Luna. It’s been far too long since I’ve last seen you, last touched you.”161

“When did you get out of jail?” I sobbed. “I’m unlisted, how did you find me?”162

“We’re family, baby. It’s not too hard to find you.”163

“Uncle Ron, please. Please don’t do this,” I cried, backing myself against the wall as he drew closer, running the rope through his hands.164

“Oh, but it’s what we do, darling. Don’t you remember how it felt?”165

I clenched my eyes shut, nodding fearfully. I didn’t want to remember how it felt to have him inside of me, my flesh tearing. I didn’t want to remember the muffled screams between layers of duct tape, my arms bound to keep me from fighting back.166

His breath was against my face as he hissed, “I’ve really missed you.”167

Tears were streaming down my face as I felt him grab my wrists, beginning to wrap the rope around them tightly. I trembled under his grasp as he tied the knot tightly, and I felt so weak as I found myself unable to move or escape.168

I opened my eyes, staring at him pleadingly, the same way I had ten years ago. “Please, please don’t do this,” I begged.169

He kissed my forehead tenderly, moving his lips lower until he was at my chest. “I’ve missed you,” he said again. 170

Gathering all the courage I had, I ripped my hands upward and grabbed him by the hair, tearing up with all my might. He shouted angrily, seizing me by the throat. I kicked as hard as I could while I gasped for breath, hitting him right between the legs. He groaned, falling to the floor and writhing in pain. I ran past him quickly, trying to work my hands out of the ropes binding me, to no avail. A hand grabbed my ankle, tripping me and pulling me downwards. I hit the floor hard, and he flipped me onto my back. 171

“You stupid bitch!” he growled, grabbing my shirt and ripping as hard as he could, tearing it off of me. He knelt on my legs so I couldn’t flail, and ferociously he tore off the button and zipper of my jeans, pulling them down around my knees. I yelped as he tore my bra from me, the underwire cutting into my skin and causing me to bleed. 172

“Help me!” I screamed at the top of my lungs. “Somebody, please!” 173

Ron pulled his jeans down around his ankles, and before I could do anything he was on top of me, inside of me, thrusting vigorously as I screamed in pain and agony. He punched me square in the nose, causing me to bleed down into my mouth as I continued to scream in terror. 174

“Get the hell off of her!” 175

I looked up to see Ava standing in the doorway of my bedroom, staring down at Ron with the most furious expression I had ever seen. 176

Ron just laughed, continuing to barrel into me as I again screamed in terror. “Look, another little girl here to play with me.”177

“Get off of her,” Ava repeated warningly. 178

He laughed again, returning his focus to me and planting one of his ferocious hands over my mouth, muffling my cries.179

I closed my eyes, trying to fade away from myself, when suddenly the rape stopped and Ron was ripped out of me. I opened my eyes to see him dying on the ground, his throat ripped out. Guttural sounds emitted from his mouth as he clutched his throat, trying to stop the bleeding. 180

Naked and shaking, I stared up at Ava. Her breathing was shallow and angry, and her hands were stained with blood. 181

“Ava,” I stuttered weakly. 182

She looked down at me, her anger fading and compassion taking over her expression. “Baby, I’m so sorry I couldn’t get here sooner.”183

She knelt down beside me, untying my hands, and I threw my arms around her, collapsing into her and sobbing.*184

Nero grabbed my hand and stroked it lovingly, a vibe that made me shudder despite the fact that I knew he was trying to help. “I’m sorry,” he said uncertainly. 185

I pulled my hand away quickly. “Don’t worry about it,” I muttered.186

“Oh,” he said in a moment of enlightenment. “I see why you hate me now. You hate all men, no matter who it is. That’s why you pulled away from that boy in the chapel.”187

I grimaced at the memory. “It’s only fitting that a male should be the Angel of Darkness. Men are evil.”188

“Oh no, darling. Haven’t you ever heard of Pandora’s box?”189

“It was a god who gave it to her, knowing she would open it. That makes him more evil than she could ever be.”190

“Touché.” 191

I stood up unsurely, staring down at him. The black feathers of his wings fluttered as the breeze flowed in through the broken door. “So it’s your turn now.”192

“Pardon?”193

“I told you about me. It’s your turn.” I paused. “Why did you save me when you dropped me?”194

He rolled his eyes. “You’re more useful to me alive.”195

“I’ve heard that before, when I begged my uncle to just kill me. Are you going to rape me too?”196

His jaw dropped. “Why would you think that?”197

“Men are evil,” I repeated. “And you’re the epitome of evil. It wouldn’t surprise me.”198

He stood before me, his majestic wings looming over me, still rippling beneath the breeze. He grabbed both of my hands gently, looking down into my eyes. “I won’t do anything to you that you don’t want me to,” he assured me. “Darkness doesn’t mean pure evil, love. It’s always pierced with good.”199

He leaned over and kissed me softly on the forehead. It was only the second time in my life that a touch from a man hadn’t sent me trembling. I stood on my toes and pressed my lips to his, drawing him into a passionate kiss. It took him a moment to respond, surprised, but soon he returned the kiss eagerly. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer to me, and I felt his tongue dancing against my lips. I opened them slightly to let him in, and he gently explored my mouth. I could feel his breathing quicken as he got more involved in the kiss.200

Suddenly I realized what I was doing, and I pulled away fiercely. “What am I doing?” I stammered. “I can’t…Ava…”201

He laughed bitterly. “Avaritia? You’re going to choose Avaritia over me?” 202

I glared at him menacingly. “You don’t exist.”203

He blinked. “What?”204

“None of you exist,” I repeated. “You and Ava and Chris and my uncle…this is all just one terrible nightmare that I’ve been living in, and I’m going to wake up any second now to find that I’m just a normal girl in an ordinary girl with an ordinary life. No angels, no rape, no horror…just life.”205

Nero stared at me sadly. “Luna…”206

“Don’t say my name like you matter!” I snapped. “You’re not real! None of this is real!” 207

I rushed out the glass doors at the end of my room out onto the balcony, staring up at the stars with disgust. “They don’t exist. None of this exists.”208

“Luna, please. Stop it. You’re going to make yourself insane.”209

“No, you see, I’m already insane. That’s why I’m stuck in this dream. I’m probably in some loony bin somewhere living this fantasy, sitting in some rubber room talking to the voices in my head. Because that’s all you are. Just a deranged fantasy.”210

He grabbed my hand again. “Luna, feel me. I’m real. Ava’s real.”211

“No you’re not!” I shrieked, pulling away from him. “You’re all disgusting! You’re just here to make me miserable. How could I believe that angels existed? It’s crazy! I’m just crazy! I’m only dreaming!”212

I glanced around wildly. Half-laughing, half-crying, I wrapped my hands around the railing and hoisted myself up, struggling to balance on the ebony rail. “Luna!” Nero shouted fearfully. “What are you doing?”213

“Me? I’m going to wake up! I’m going to get out of this hell inside my head!”214

“Luna, don’t do it,” he warned. “You’re going to die.”215

“I can’t die. I’m only dreaming.” I rotated back on my heels, falling over the edge of the balcony and towards the black, churning ocean below.216

*“Open your eyes,” she said suddenly, after leading me down a long hallway deep within her mansion. I knew we must be somewhere on the second floor, presumably somewhere in the west wing of the building, judging from the path we had followed. I opened my eyes with a gasp, to see the most beautiful bedroom I had ever seen before in my entire life. The walls were made of glass, overlooking the sea where the sun was softly setting. The furniture was glass and marble, and the marble bed frame held a queen sized mattress with white silk sheets. 217

“I must be dreaming,” I breathed. I glanced around the beautiful room in delight, reveling in the reflected light that beamed from every corner. “Whose room is this?”218

“It’s ours,” she said. At my stunned look, she stammered, “If you want, of course. I’d understand if you didn’t. We haven’t known each other all that long, and you don’t have to let me be so forward. If you don’t want to…”219

I kissed her roughly to cut off her nervous yammering, and her mumblings died down beneath the force of my lips. Ava returned the kiss gratefully, apparently reading exactly what I wanted without my saying a word.220

She pulled me gently backwards, our lips still interlocked and without a plan of leaving each others’ company. Soon she fell back onto the bed, the white silk sheets of our bed, and I lay on top of her, my fingertips gently tracing her figure beneath her form-fitting tank top.221

She reached up and removed my blouse, unbuttoning it hastily and carelessly tossing it to the floor. I pulled her shirt over her head as she fumbled with the button of my jeans, sighing in exasperation. I unhooked the button for her and unzipped them slowly, my lips lustily kissing her neck over and over as I did so. She pulled them down, along with the blue thong I wore, and tossed them into the pile of clothes on the floor. I pulled her skirt down from her hips gently; by now I had learned that Ava never wore any underwear.222

Again her lips locked with mine as her fingers began to explore my body, starting with my breasts and gradually sliding down my torso. I gasped as she pushed them inside of me, only once to tease. She licked her fingers longingly as my lips began to wander down the extent of her body. She gasped beneath the feel of my teeth against her skin, and I bit down lightly on her breast to satisfy her. 223

The sun had set by the time we were finished with each other, lying together entwined beneath the white silk sheets our play had disheveled. She sighed contently as she wrapped her arms around me lovingly, her breathing in my ear steady as she drifted into a state of near sleep.224

“I love you,” she whispered softly.225

I wanted to tell her the same, but my words caught in my throat. I love you. Three words I had never said before to anyone in my entire life. How could I possibly know what love is? How could I possibly tell this girl that that’s the way I feel about her?226

“I can’t say it yet,” I muttered in discontent.227

She just smiled, her eyes closed lightly as she drifted off. “I know.”228

Lying wrapped in each others’ arms, we both fell into the deepest sleep, knowing that the next morning we would wake up to see the other’s smiling face, the most perfect way to begin any day, any life.*229

The air whipped by me as I fell to my death, my eyes clenched shut as I waited for the force of impact upon the jagged rocks below. Just a pile of flesh, blood, and bones. This time, though, this time I didn’t scream, longing for the sweet taste of death to consume me and rip me from this miserable reality.230

Suddenly I felt a pair of arms encircle me, and all the air rushed from my lungs as I was abruptly ripped high into the sky. I looked down to see the jagged black rocks fading away from me, and I felt the wind from flapping wings as I soared higher and higher.231

“Let me go!” I shrieked hysterically, beating against his chest with my fists. He remained unfazed by my assault, flying higher and higher until we were hovering mere feet above the balcony I had descended from. He landed gracefully, his wings beating once, twice, and then stopping abruptly as his foot touched the ground. I was still being held up in the air, beating fiercely against him with all my strength as he held me.232

“Luna,” his voice said shakily. “What the hell were you thinking?”233

“Let me go!” I shouted again, my own voice trembling.234

“You could have died, you stupid girl!” he shouted at me furiously. “This isn’t some fantasy world! When you’re gone, you’re gone. There’s no coming back from that! Not even Avaritia or myself could save you then!”235

My lip quivered slightly as tears began to stream down my cheeks. I clenched my eyes shut, trying so hard not to look at him or hear his biting words.236

“Luna” He paused, his voice softening. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”237

I burst into tears as he apologized for all the despair he and his kindred had caused me, and he hugged me close to him, letting me cry into his chest. He set me down to the ground where I collapsed, sobbing on the floor of the balcony. Nero continued to hold me, unsure of what to say to make me feel any better. There was nothing anyone could say. 238

I saw Ava’s face in my mind – her beautiful, crystalline blue eyes and her perfectly defined, petite features. She was smiling at me, but tears were flowing from her beautiful eyes. It was more than I could bear. “I love you,” I sobbed, too late. It’s always too late. “I love you so much. I’m so sorry.”239

I killed you, darling. 240

*“Chris, get out of my restaurant,” I commanded warily.241

The boy just smiled at me, that piranha-like expression on his face. “It’s not your restaurant, gorgeous. If you remember, it’s my sister’s.”242

“Who cares? Get out.”243

“No.” He stood up, arms crossed, staring at me intently. “Why won’t you even give me a chance?”244

“I’m a lesbian,” I replied instantly. It was virtually true.245

His eyes narrowed. “What about Gabriel?”246

It felt like my heart stopped at the very mention of that name. “What about Gabriel?”247

He shook his head sadly. “I’ve known you forever, Luna. You were with Gabriel for over three years. How can you ignore that now?”248

“I wasn’t with him because he was a guy. I was with him because he was him.”249

“I’m not just another guy either, Luna, and you won’t even give me a chance.”250

“I told you, I’m a lesbian.”251

“No, you’re not.”252

“Love dies. People die. Things change.” I sighed heavily. “Why won’t you just leave me alone?”253

Chris looked at me dejectedly. “Babe, I love you.”254

“Well stop it!” I shouted. Many faces in the restaurant turned to look at us curiously. “I don’t like you!”255

He paused. “Just one kiss,” he said softly. “Just one kiss and I’ll leave you alone.”256

I eyed him suspiciously before reluctantly agreeing. “Okay. One kiss.”257

He leaned down slowly, hesitating just before touching my lips, uncertain of whether I was actually going to let him do it. He pressed his lips to mine firmly, his hands pulling me closer by my shoulders. I stared off into space as he kissed me, waiting anxiously for him to finally pull away.258

I was relieved when he did, my breath returning. He smiled maliciously past me, and curiously I turned around – to see the stunned expression of my angel in the doorway.259

“Ava…”260

Tears in her eyes, she just stared at me, crushed. I took a step towards her, and she recoiled violently. “What have you done to me?” she cried.261

She turned and ran out of the restaurant. Quickly I untied my apron and threw it to the floor, running after her hurriedly. “Ava!”262

Chris followed not far behind, laughing.*263

I sat alone, trembling on my bed, tears long gone as my tear ducts had dried out. Nero, out of fear, had place bars over all my windows, casting eerie shadows on the floor. I sat thinking about Ava and all I had put her through, of her beautiful, tear-stained face. And I thought of Chris and how a single kiss had destroyed my life.264

On a deeper level I thought of Gabriel. I remembered his gorgeous, always smiling face; his deep, comforting voice; his fiery brown eyes. I remembered the warmth as he held me, closing my eyes now to secure the feeling. I remembered the feel of his breath upon my neck, his fingers caressing my skin.265

It took me a moment to realize that I presently was feeling these sensations. I opened my eyes to see Nero’s concerned face. I finally took a good look at him. He had long brown hair that fell into his face, concealing one of his eyes and bathing his face in shadow. He was nearly a head taller than me, with a muscular frame, and of course there were his monstrous black wings. But what got me was his eyes – they were deep and emotional, in a fiery shade of brown.266

Tears sprung to my eyes as I stared at him. “Gabriel?” I whispered.267

Nero got to his feet, hiding his face from me and crossing his arms defiantly. His back to me, he said, “Gabriel’s dead. This is me now.”268

I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing down my cheeks. “What happened to you?”269

He refused to face me. “You did. I came back because of you.”270

“What?”271

“I was sent to save you. You wouldn’t let me. You just kept destroying yourself until I died. Then they sent Avaritia, and you wouldn’t let her save you either, and then I was sent to destroy you.”272

My heart felt like it was going to rip in two. “I killed you…”273

“And you’re killing Avaritia. And she’s going to come back like me.” He turned and looked me gravely in the eye. “An Angel of Darkness. Completely changed. Because of you.”274

I lowered my eyes to the floor with shame. “Do you still love me?” I whispered.275

Nero was taken aback by the question. “Do I still love you?”276

I kept my eyes to the ground. “Well do you?”277

He too averted his eyes. “Of course I do.”278

My expression must have visibly brightened at his words. I stood up to face him even as he looked away from me. I gently grabbed his hand, caressing his fingers with my own. He looked at me with surprise. “Can I still call you Gabriel?”279

His expression softened. “Sure, love.”280

I kissed him lovingly, all my old emotions flooding back at once. I didn’t even think of Ava. I had just found my first true love again; nothing could take away that feeling.281

Gabriel apparently remembered too what we had as he deepened the kiss, and soon he was stripping me slowly of my clothes and I was standing naked before him. He gently lay down on the bed as he removed his own clothing. He looked magnificent standing there nude, his black wings looming majestically above me.282

Gently he moved inside of me, listening to me sigh. Gradually the thrusts grew faster and I began to moan, and he pressed down on the spot on my thigh he had learned long ago made me crazy. I moaned louder, biting gently into his shoulder, harder as he moved faster and faster. My eyes rolled back as I reached my climax.283

Gabriel stopped thrusting, sweat dripping down his forehead as he stared down at me, gasping. He gave a mischievous smile. “Do you want to try something new?” he growled. 284

He pulled me tight to him, and flapped his wings, lifting us into the air. Holding me close to him, he kissed my neck softly as he thrust into me, an entirely new sensation in anti-gravity. I moaned as he penetrated me faster and deeper still, both of us reaching our peak simultaneously. His wings went rigid as we did, and we fell back onto the bed, gasping for breath. 285

“I love you,” he murmured in my ear. I smiled softly as I drifted to sleep in his arms, his enormous wings engulfing me.286

*I entered the mansion late into the night after long hours of searching for Ava, bearing no results. Exhausted, I walked into the bedroom and flicked on the light, to see her seated on the bed, drenched in deep red blood.287

Giant white wings were sprouting from her back, tinged with red.288

I stared at her in shock as she whispered, “I was trying to save you.” Her voice wavered as she continued, “You stupid girl, I was trying to save you!”289

“I don’t need saving,” I spat nervously. Her usually soft figure was suddenly immensely intimidating.290

“Then show me your arms,” she demanded. “Tell me there’s no cuts on your arms.”291

“That’s what this is about?” I screamed. “You stupid bitch! You have no right to interfere in my affairs!”292

“Affairs.” She glared at me sorrowfully. “Let’s talk about affairs.”293

My jaw dropped angrily. “It was just one kiss!”294

“A kiss to kill me,” she retorted. “And I’m not the only one.”295

I froze. “What did you do?” I asked slowly.296

She stood up from her seat on the bed, the view her wings had previously been blocking suddenly evident in my sight. Blood stained the white silk sheets where a mutilated body lay cold and deathly. “What did you do?” I shrieked.297

Ava gave a small smile. “You have the kiss of death, baby.”298

I ran to Chris’ side; his face was deeply gouged, his abdomen ripped open, and his throat torn out. I screamed at the top of my lungs at the horrific scene.299

“Shut up!” Ava cried, tears streaming down her face. “He took, for just a moment, the world of the girl I love. I only took his, forever.”300

“You’re crazy!” I shrieked, running from the room. I maneuvered my way out of the mansion, gasping for breath and my throat burning. I had to seek refuge from the beautiful demon I had let into my life. I had to make my way to a church.*301

The sun was peering through the bars of my window, gently lulling me out of my slumber. The cold that surrounded me informed that Gabriel – no, not Gabriel but Nero – was no longer there with me. I yawned, stretching my arms as the black satin sheets fell away from me. I looked around the room for my clothes, but they were nowhere to be found. The room was still dark with shadows, the curtains still pulled shut. 302

Still naked, I walked over to the glass doors and pulled open the black curtains, gasping at the sight before me. As far as the eye could see the mansion was surrounded by water, no land visible to the naked eye. The crystal blue water cascaded against the jagged black rocks surrounding the island, lapping at it relentlessly. Not a cloud tainted the cerulean sky.303

I turned back towards my room, dark and shadowed in comparison. The door at the end of the room was closed and locked, but something about it caught my eye. There was a hanger suspended from a hook on the door, with the most breath-taking dress I had ever seen hanging from it. It was v-cut and silver, floor length, with a cut running up to the upper thigh. It appeared to be made of silk, ornate and flowing.304

Gingerly I unhooked the hanger and held the dress up to me, eyeballing my image in the mirror. It appeared like it would fit perfectly. Carefully I unzipped the back and stepped into the silky material, sliding it up my body smoothly as I pulled the straps over my shoulders. I zipped up the back and looked back into the mirror with a gasp. The figure was so beautiful I could scarcely tell it was me.305

When we were together, Gabriel had always been trying to find an excuse to get me to dress up. I remember having countless dresses in my closet that he would be me hopefully. It seemed like Nero was no different. 306

I began dancing around the room in delight, swirling and twirling to watch the fabric whirl around me. It was like a moon dance, the shimmering silk reflecting silver light across the room. I couldn’t pull the smile from my face, and once again I found myself thinking that maybe here, in darkness, was where I belonged.307

I was mid-twirl when I spotted Nero in the doorway, watching me with a perfectly pleased smile on his face. I smiled at him, but kept dancing with glee, spinning on the tips of my toes over and over. He caught my hand and stopped me, pulling me close to him. “So you like the dress, Angel?” he whispered seductively.308

My expression twisted into a come-hither gaze. I stroked the feathers of his black wings gently with my forefinger. “Oh, but I’m not the one who’s an angel.”309

He smiled. “Oh, but you’re so close.”310

Still holding me close to him, he began spinning as I had been, the two of us whirling around the room, entwined in the arms of the other. The world moved faster and faster by us as we continued to dance, totally lost in the other’s eyes, and it was like I was in love with him all over again.311

*I opened the heavy doors of the stone church, the entire building cast in darkness. The light from a few spare candles at the front was all that was left, flickering meekly against the dark. 312

I collapsed in the middle of the aisle and started to cry, wishing that for once in my life things would go right, things would go the way they should. No, now the girl I thought I loved was nothing more than some demon, playing with my heart the whole time. The boy I loved was long since dead, and the boy who loved me followed not far after him. 313

Death was in love with me. It courted me, seduced me, ensnared my very being. It kissed me softly on the lips and coated them with poison, ensuring that everything I touched would fall to pieces and wither away.314

“It hurts, doesn’t it?”315

I didn’t even look up. The voice was vaguely familiar to me but I didn’t bother to try to figure out why. “Go away,” I choked. 316

“Doesn’t it?” A man’s figure stepped out of the shadows, cloaked in blackness by the night’s shadows. I could see the silhouette of two enormous wings sprouting from his back. “To know that everything you’ve lived is a lie, that all you are is broken, like shards of broken glass?”317

I sobbed louder, my hands brushing against something sharp on the tile floor. I looked down to see a piece of glass beneath my fingers. 318

“Who are you?” My voice trembled.319

His face emerged a bit from the shadows, though not enough for me to recognize a face – just enough for me to watch his lips move. “My name is Nero,” he informed me quietly. “And unlike Avaritia, I know who you really are.”320

“Avaritia?”321

He smiled. “Your darling Ava. Your beautiful Angel of Light. She’s so deluded that everything is grounded in the common good that she failed to see who you really are.”322

“Who am I then?” I challenged.323

“You’re a child of darkness, like me,” he breathed. He knelt down before me, his dark eyes inches away from mine. “Are you going to do it, darling? I know you want to. Are you going to give in?”324

I looked down at the sparkling shard of glass beneath my fingertips. A child of darkness…the title seemed so fitting, like no other label given to me had ever been before. The tiny piece of glass was so aesthetic, I couldn’t help but run it between my fingers. The surface was smooth, not a single ridge tainting it. 325

“Babe,” Ava’s voice echoed from the doorway. I saw her staring down at me pleadingly, her brilliant white wings shining in the moonlight.326

“Do it,” Nero said again, more urgently.327

“Don’t. Please, babe, just don’t.”328

“Do it!”329

“What are you trying to do, Nero?” Ava snapped. “You just can’t stand the fact that you failed.”330

“I haven’t failed yet!” he retorted. He looked back at me angrily. “Do it!”331

“Don’t!” 332

“Leave the girl alone, Avaritia! She doesn’t want anything to do with you!”333

“She’s mine, Nero! Let it go!”334

“Shut up!” I shrieked, tears still streaming down my face. I quickly swiped the glass across my wrist, blood beginning to spring to the surface of my skin.335

Ava collapsed to the floor, the feathers beginning to fall from her wings. She screamed in dejection, her voice echoing throughout the chapel. *336

Our dance came to an end with a soft kiss, his hands brushing my face lovingly. A realization struck me at that moment, and I pulled away abruptly. “This can’t happen.”337

Nero blinked. “What?”338

“Us,” I elaborated. “This can’t happen again. It just isn’t right.”339

He punched the wall irately, fury burning in his passionate brown eyes. “It’s because of her, isn’t it? You’re leaving me because of her!”340

I shook my head sadly. “It’s not because of her. It’s because of you.”341

“What did I do?” he asked pleadingly, his dark eyes welling up with tears. It broke my heart to see him cry, the epitome of evil or not. 342

“I’m not in love with you,” I said bluntly. His eyes filled with pain as I continued, “I’m in love with who you used to be. You’re charming, you’re beautiful, you’re passionate. But you’re not Gabriel.”343

“I’m still him!”344

“No, you said so yourself. You’re not him anymore. You’re Nero now. And I’m not in love with you.”345

“Luna,” he sobbed. He fell to his knees miserably, wrapping his arms around my legs. His tears stained my dress and flowed down to the floor, like raindrops beating against the rocks. “Luna, please don’t do this to me.”346

“Let her go, Nero.” I turned my head to see Avaritia’s beautiful frame standing in the doorway, the sunlight glowing in her chocolate hair, reflecting off her snowy wings. 347

“Ava,” I breathed. 348

She ignored me, all her attention devoted to Nero. “If you really love her,” she continued, “let her go.”349

“Shut up!” Nero screamed, jumping to his feet angrily. “You stupid bitch, just shut up!”350

He shoved past me violently, lunging at Ava, his hands poised to strangle the life out of her. She quickly moved to the left, Nero flying past her and over the balcony behind her. 351

“Ava,” I said again joyously. “You got your wings back. But how?”352

She smiled at me, taking my hand and kissing it gingerly. “You took them away from me, you gave them back. It takes a lot to stand up to your dark side, Luna.”353

I pulled away as she tried to take me in her arms. “No, Ava. This isn’t right either.”354

She blinked, the same stunned reaction Nero had had. “What do you mean?”355

“I’m tired of flirting with good and evil,” I informed her. “Can’t I be more than just the sovereign of one extreme or the other? Can’t I just be me?”356

Ava smiled at me with understanding, placing her hand gently upon my shoulder. “Well then I guess this is –”357

A blur of black slammed Ava into the wall, her wings cracking under the force of the impact. She cried out in pain as Nero stood panting before her, his eyes glowing red with vehemence. He stepped on her throat with his black combat boots, crushing all the breath out of her. She grabbed his ankle and threw him off of her, springing to her feet and leaping at him. Her fingernails gouged his face, blood streaming down his face. 358

He laughed bitterly, licking the blood from his lips. “Come on, Avaritia. Kill me while you can.”359

“My pleasure,” she growled. She dug her nails into his jugular, tearing it open. The blood began to pour and squirt, and I screamed in horror as I watched the life drain from the man I used to love. 360

Frantically, I searched for something to stop her. My eyes lighted upon a ceremonial sword hanging from the walls. I clenched its hilt determinedly, rushing at her with all my strength and plunging the tapered blade straight through her heart. 361

Avaritia gasped, turning her head to look up at me sorrowfully. A bubble of blood emerged from her mouth as she struggled to breath, and it splattered up onto my dress as it popped, leaving a deep red stain on the brilliant silver fabric. My eyes were remorseless as I watched my angel die, the blood staining my hands a reminder of what I had just done and why I had done it. 362

Her head fell back against the black tile, her crystalline blue eyes lifeless. Like before I stepped onto the golden railing of the balcony, watching the water below glitter in the sun. A sinister smile on my face, I leapt over the side, my open eyes watching the black rocks and the roaring water rush closer and closer. 363

Only this time my shimmering gray wings caught the ocean breeze, and I ascended high into the sky. Below me, Nero’s blood seeped slowly over the edge of the balcony, hitting the rocks like a tear from an angel’s eye. 364