I am lying down; my life flashes before my eyes. Every memory, from bad to worse, flows through my mind. I breathe my last breath, one thought stays alive. 1
"Lord, give me one more chance...I’ll do better this time."2
And God appeared before me, and whispered in my ears with his divine voice, "You promised me, not to waste your life, unsatisfied. You broke your promise; so sadly, I shall have to break mine."3
“You never had a promise…”4
The Lord smiled, “Now…you shan’t have one, either.” After a flash of light, I am free…with no promises to break…finally satisfied.5
Author notes
I replaced "Disability" with this story. I hope you like it. I tried to the best with what I was a given: 100 words. Thank you!
To my other readers: I am going to make an extended version, later. Hope you will like it.
A contest entry
- One hundred words, one hundred points by Elvenfairy.
100 points, ended May 29, 2008, 12 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think?
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Wow! What a deep and meaningful story! I liked the first line because it drew me right in and the only thing I can suggest for improvement is working with the background - the words get a little hard to read over on the left.
Great job with this and keep writing!
.♥. Maureen .♥. -
I actually can't wait to hear the full version. I like how it sounds right now and I would love to see it in full story form. Good luck with your writing and I'll leave you with this,
Soul -
i like the concept
so much captured in so few words quite good -
Wow that was amazing i had to read it twice good job!!
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sounds like an amusing conversation with God. This made me smile. It wasn't as good as your other one was though.
Thanks for entering my contest
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interesting
I really liked it. Everything flowed. Well written and I look forward to the extended version.
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