COFFEE MEMORIES1
When I was a kid,one of my greatest treasures was a trip to grandma’s house to visit my grandpa. He was actually my great grandpa living with grandma in her old brick house,for as long as my youthful memory could recall. His name was Ed, like mine,and he'd have been great,in my child eyes, regardless of his age.2
An old sod Scotch Irishman,short and lanky,with tufts of white hair stretched over an age spotted bald pate,with steel rimmed bifocals and steely blue eyes,comfortable in black Dickies jeans
worn shiny in the seat,blue and gray striped engineers shirts,
ancient corks,bright red suspenders with a matching thread bare, woolen sweater.A retired teamster,from the days they still drove mule teams,a farmer, part time prospector and logger,and a coal yard loader,great grandpa was the sort of character,you could imagine walking out of the pages of a Hemingway sketch book.3
He inhabited one corner of the living room near to the potbellied stove with it’sthick glass pane in the door,where flames danced eternally,occasionally rising to trek to the wood stack out back of the house,where he gathered kindling and hardwood from time to time, short sojourns to feed the fire. He rested comfortably, most of the time,on a worn upholstered,spool legged chair,reading magazines and paperbacks, and sipping coffee,made in a bluestone, flip top, pot, set on the edge of the cast iron range. Thick, hot strong & black,until five sugar cubes and a half cup of carnation condensed milk later,he served it to my brothers and me,in old, green, war glass mugs,steamy, sweet, syrupy and beige in color.
to me, it tasted better than Sonny Boy peanut butter and Sue Bee honey on Wonder Bread. Of coarse, mama and dad and grandma all drank coffee too, but it was black and bitter, they just didn't have the knack great grandpa had. I learned to make coffee right
from that old man.4
Now,with latte stands and coffee shops everywhere,you can getjust about any kind of coffee drinks,these days but,I've never seen a cup of coffeelike great grandpa made,no matter how well stocked the stand,or how knowledgeable the vender. These days,at my age,I find myself drinking mainly decaf,with sweet n' low and lite coffee mate. But, there are those times, every now and then, I take a big chance,pour myself a cup of coffee,stir in a handful of sugar cubes,a heroic dollop of half and half,and sip, with my eyes closed, and, for a second,I'm there. Im that curly haired little boy,with blue eyes,in blue jeans with rolled up pant legs,
a green glass coffee cup perched in both hands, on one knee,smiling up at an old man,with his teeth in his pocket,and, as grandma would say,"the devil in his eye"back with greatgrandpa, again.
Comments
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So Heartfelt
Oh what a wonderful tribute to your great grandpa. What a pleasure to read. I can see why you miss him. Keep enjoying these wonderful memories. Thank you for sharing your childhood memories with me. You take care. Keep smiling for great grndpa.
Bless You, Sandy
Excellent Write!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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You have a knack for bringing the reader right there. I could see it all. Very good. It make's me reflect on the past and relatives i haven't thought of in awhile. Thank you.
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I really like your description in this. I do not have the right words to describe how effective it is, but an English teacher would be able to say what I can't say. I will give you an example that really stands out:
Thick, hot strong & black,until five sugar cubes and a half cup of carnation condensed milk later,he served it to my brothers and me,in old, green, war glass mugs,steamy, sweet, syrupy and beige in color.
to me, it tasted better than Sonny Boy peanut butter and Sue Bee honey on Wonder Bread.
How you tied the coffee with peanut butter is very effective and really makes the reader smile. At first the description is long but then you realize that he is not only describing the coffee but also thinking about and describing peanut butter all at the same time- and to connect the two is creative- very original thinking plus the adjectives you use are excellent.
I think this is a great description writing and stands alone as descriptive writing if let's say that were an assignment. But over all it seems like it is a scene out of a much larger work- maybe short story or novel. It makes you want to read more and know more about these characters.
One minor point but also is important- you should study style a bit- maybe pick up the classic Elements of Style by E.B. White. I am not sure what style is most approved in creative writing these days- there are different ones (I always used the MLA style but that is for research). But when you get ready to send your writing for publishing it will be important to get all your typing laid out properly on the page: margins, spaces between periods, commas etc., and also of course use spell and grammar checks in words. As you can see I personally like using two spaces between sentences but I think in most America it is one.
Well that's about all I have to say for now. I really enjoyed reading this- it made me grin! And brought back my own memorable moments.
One thing about the green mug- you may want to say something more about that. You are taking the time to describe it as green not as a passing description but with a little emphasis, but the reader doesn't know why you are doing this.
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