Waste of lives pt 2

(After)1

I vaguely remember a few things, little flashes that don’t really fit together into one memory… a bright light shining in my eyes… someone sticking something sharp in my arm… a tube, some wires, seeing in a brief moment that they were all over my body. I don’t remember any faces or any sounds- everything was quiet, quiet and nearly devoid of color.2

The first time I really woke up that I really remember is kind of fuzzy to me too. I remember opening my eyes, my vision swimming for several seconds before finally clearing up. My eyes felt weird, heavy and almost itchy, and I could only focus on one thing at a time.3

I remember all the white, all around me, and then the tubes. But even as I stared at them foggily, I could not come to a conclusion as to where I was, or why these tubes and were connected to me.4

I heard someone gasp faintly next, the sound probably softer to my ears than it actually was. Then I realized that my mother was in the room with me, peering at me with anxious excitement.5

“Ian- Ian, Adrian’s awake!”6

I blinked slowly at them, my brain still sluggish as I struggled to keep alert. My dad had hurried over to stand by my mom, looking down at me. Both of their faces were full of emotion; my mom was holding back tears, and even my dad’s eyes seemed watery.7

“Go get the doctor,” my mom said hoarsely, and my dad pressed this button beside my bed. I didn’t hear a noise, but it must have made one, because a few moments later a woman came into my line of vision as well. She began to look me over, touching me in various places. As much as she was touching me, I didn’t feel it- but at the time that didn’t bother me. 8

“Adrian, can you feel this?” she asked me. “Can you hear me?”9

I tried to move, tried to answer her, but I couldn’t- nothing happened at all. It was like I wasn’t in control of my own body… very weird. But still, even this seeming paralysis didn’t bother me… I didn’t hurt, after all.10

“Can you blink for me, Adrian?” she asked. “If you can hear me, blink three times, fast.”11

That, I might could do… but it was slower than I’d expected when I tried.12

I could see my parents grinning, even as my mom began to cry. The woman was still touching me, speaking to me, but I could feel myself drifting back to sleep.13

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The second time I woke up was a little different. The woman wasn’t there, but my parents were, and they seemed calmer, though they both looked exhausted. Both of them smiled at me when I opened my eyes.15

“Hi, honey,” my mom whispered, and my dad echoed, “How do you feel, son?”16

I almost felt like if I tried, I could talk… I still felt weird and groggy, and I was thirsty, my throat dry and sore, but I felt more alive, more… there. Maybe this time I could talk to them…17

So I tried. It came out hoarse and croaky, practically a whisper, but they understood me.18

“I’m really thirsty… I feel weird.”19

You would have thought I’d spoken a novel of wisdom from the huge beaming smiles that broke across their faces. My mom started to cry again, and my dad took hold of my hand, squeezing it. I noticed that this time I could feel the pressure. 20

“You’re talking… oh Adrian, that’s wonderful,” my mom gasped, wiping her eyes. “Ian, call Dr. Barton in, tell her he’s talking, he woke up again…”21

Dad pressed the same button he’d pressed before, and the same woman came in that had, smiling as she peered at me.22

“I see you’re awake again… how are you feeling?”23

“Weird,” I repeated, nearly choking on the word. Her smiled widened.24

“Great, you’re speaking too. I thought you’d be able to soon enough.” 25

She began to mess around with me and my tubes again, manipulating parts of my body. “Can you feel this? This?”26

“Yeah… yeah…” I muttered as she touched my arms, my chest, my legs, all very lightly but firmly. I felt it vaguely, but I didn’t really feel more than a faint pressure.27

“Good. This?” she was touching my hand.28

“Yeah…”29

“Can you move your hand?”30

I tried, and my fingers jerked a little, before going limp again. I still felt kind of foggy, out of it, like none of this was really happening. 31

“Great. Can you tell me your name?”32

“Adrian,” I said slowly. “Adrian Skiff.”33

“Good, that’s right. How old are you, and what grade are you in?”34

“Seventeen… I’m a senior.”35

“Do you know who the president is?”36

I told her, and man, my parents were grinning like they’d won the lottery or something. I still didn’t really know what was going on; it felt like I was coming off of a particularly weird trip or something.37

“Do you know where you are, Adrian?”38

“No…”39

“You’re in the hospital, Adrian,” my mother broke in, her voice all choked-sounding. “This is Dr. Barton.”40

“Why’m I in the hospital?” I mumbled. “Am I hurt?”41

“You were in a car accident,” Dr. Barton told me, looking at me carefully. “Do you not remember?”42

“No…”43

I furrowed my brow, trying to recall what she was talking about. Accident? When? With the other guys- with David? David had never gotten in a wreck before- never even gotten a speeding ticket. But I couldn’t remember. The last thing I could think of was trying to pass the car we’d thought might be Leahna’s. Is that when we had crashed- had we hit it?44

“I don’t remember. What happened?”45

Dr. Barton was looking at me really strangely as she spoke, as if picking and choosing what she would say.46

“What do you remember, Adrian?”47

“Uh… I was riding with David and Steven and Elijah. And… we saw this car. We… we thought it was Leahna’s, one of our friends… we were going to pass it. We…”48

“Yes…” Dr. Barton said slowly, “it appears that when you went to do this, the driver lost control and ran off the road.”49

I just lay there, trying to take in her words. I couldn’t remember, and I felt to numb to really be shocked or concerned. 50

“Yeah, it’s weird… David never did that before. So… are, are they okay?”51

I saw my parents look at each other really strangely, like they were trying to be subtle, or hide something from me. They just kept being quiet and letting Dr. Barton speak for them. They didn’t even ask me how it had happened or lecture me about irresponsible driving, or why we’d been so late. It would have made me more suspicious had I been in a more normal mind frame.52

“You have a broken nose, a few broken ribs, a fractured arm, and a broken leg. You also had a minor concussion. But you will have a full recovery, we are sure- you should be able to go home in a week or so, two at the most.”53

“All right,” I mumbled, taking that in. It could have been worse, I guessed. I wouldn’t miss graduation anyway. “I can deal with that…what about the others? They okay?”54

Again there was too long of a pause before Dr. Barton answered me. I should have answered that, but I was starting to feel really tired again, barely able to keep my eyes open, to listen to her response.55

“Elijah Bates is in this hospital a few rooms down from you. He pretty much as the same injuries as you- a mild concussion, fractures, broken bones. He’ll be fine- he actually woke up before you did.”56

“What about the others?” I mumbled, fighting to keep my eyes open. “David and Steven- are they okay?”57

It was my father who answered me this time, my father, who had said practically nothing through the whole exchange, just sat there with a strange, torn expression.58

“We’re not sure, Adrian. We haven’t heard anything about David and Steven yet… they’re not at this hospital.”59

Normally that never would have been enough to satisfy me. I would have demanded a more direct answer, demanded details. But I could feel my eyes closing, feel myself sinking back into sleep, even as I mumbled, “All right…”60