Cimiar the Alchemist lifted his weary legs to climb the last few steps to the top of his tower, and entered his Room of Contemplation. To the world outside, the tower was no more than twenty feet in width, but the circular chamber located at the apex of the structure was over two hundred feet in diameter – for those who entered it. This was one of the marvels that the two hundred and three year old alchemist had constructed, but it did come with a price. The space within the circular wall had no windows and it distorted reality. Only eyes that were trained and minds that contained the Gift could see through the twisted perspectives, the warped angles of anything that occupied the chamber. For Cimiar the world within his home looked normal, absolutely real. For most other mortals, there was instant, irrevocable insanity.1
He sat at his spacious table, cluttered with old tomes and vellum scrolls, loose-leaf parchments and antiquated papyri, and poured himself a small goblet of ambrosia. The thoughts that he had pondered for the last one hundred visits quickly returned to him, and he immediately began to fidget. He hated his situation but he had to keep going. He looked around the cylindrical wall, the entire area taken up by knick-knacks, mementos, trophies, and other forms of memorabilia, testimony to all the great challenges in his life, and how, over nine score years, he had overcome every one of them. They also brought back vivid memories, many of which he would have preferred to have forgotten – particularly when he had contributed to war. There was the stuffed remains of the Bull of Alhostghast, a terrifying creature that he had defeated in his youth. Below it was the girdle of the Siren of Erimor Island, who was a powerful sorceress, but who failed to match his power and guile. On the far side of the wall hung the broken scimitar of the Sultan of Kzar-Runuk, after Cimiar had wielded the Sceptre of Waymoor and laid waste the enemy’s entire army in one cataclysmic blast. He cringed at the thought of how many innocents had also died on that day. 2
Cimiar reviewed the many years he served the God-Emperor Kul and how he had constructed two sacred artefacts for his Liege-Lord, and how he had witnessed Kul’s ascension to the heavens. He remembered that fateful day when he finally perfected the elixir that enabled him to achieve a vastly lengthened life.3
“And yet,” he stated aloud, “there is something missing.” Cimiar sipped from his goblet and then turned to a nearby chest of overflowing parchments and looked down beside it. Inside a simple wicker basket lay an aged, wizened stoat who was half asleep. “Malagir! Wake up! Tell me, my familiar, with all these great challenges that I have had to perform throughout my life; with all the magic and invention that I have succeeded in attaining; why is it that I feel that I have one last challenge left? I am not afraid of dying; no, not at all, but I cannot bear to leave this world without realising my full potential.”4
Malagir’s lazy eyes opened, and he yawned. “Master, why do you bother me with this question, when you have already asked me the same in each of your past hundred visits? As I have said so many times before, I cannot answer this question. It is something for you to determine yourself.”5
Cimiar’s patience was wearing thin, despite the wisdom and discipline mastered in one hundred and ninety-five years of practicing his craft. “Damned stoat! I am sure you know the answer! You were summoned with the aid of Kul and I am sure he tasked you with more than what a familiar is normally empowered!”6
The familiar simply shrugged its furry shoulders and prepared himself to comfortably fall asleep again.7
The alchemist however realised he had just stumbled onto a new thought that accidentally emanated from his gruff retort to the stoat. He took a deep draught of his ambrosia. What would Kul want to oversee in my life? he thought. My life! Not my craft! “Malagir! Listen! Is it possible that I have wracked my mind to find some unique spell or follow some political or military cause – all of which have been exhausted in my lifetime – when in fact it is some personal act, or experience that I have missed? Is this it? Is it some emotion that I am missing?”8
Malagir’s nose began to twitch, and his eyes grew wide awake. He sat up on his hindquarters. “Master! You have just said something that I have waited over one hundred years for you to say! You are a hairbreadth away from realising your very last challenge!”9
“Then tell me, stoat, tell me now! I do not wish to play games any longer!”10
Malagir shrugged again. “So be it. Death, Cimiar. Death. You have never experienced death and that is the final challenge for all mortals. You have lingered too long, Master, and you have lost your contentment in life because there was but one thing you intuitively knew you had to complete, but it never occurred to you that it was the very same thing that enabled you to pass on.”11
Cimiar was stunned with the revelation, particularly with how simple and truthful it was. Yes, he thought, that is what is missing. He laughed and felt the lingering disquiet inside of him dissipate. He lay comfortably back in his chair and finished his ambrosia with soothing pleasure, and smiled like he had not smiled for many years. The stoat climbed onto his Master’s lap, curled up comfortably, and breathed his last breath, also with a look of rapture in his face. The alchemist didn’t know his familiar had passed, but that was because he, too, like the distortions in the Room of Contemplation, faded into infinity.
Author notes
gezza
In a list
A contest entry
- A Chance to Win by moonwriter.
450 points, ended June 24, 16 entries
Honorable winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Quick Quickies: Fantasy by tallblondie.
210 points, ended July 13, 17 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Exceptional Stories To Be Published by Andy Stephenson.
350 points, ended October 16, 29 entries
Honorable winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Fanstasy by poetry is soul.
325 points, ends November 29, 58 entries
• next story in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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I liked it
I read this a while ago, but must have forgotten to comment.
I really like the story and the personification of the stoat
. Rewarded 4
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I've read this before.
p7 shrugged (its) furry
Well all must experience death and it would be nice if it were a welcomed challenge. Yet, at the same time it seems so sad. You've created two vivid characters here that I'd like to see more of, doing great things together.
This, I think, is the only piece I've read of yours. It is very well written.
Thanks for entering Exceptional Stories To Be Published
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Andy -
Terrific writing mate!!! One of the best short fantasy stories I've read on this site... Well written and well thought out... I tell ya, it was hard to look away! You captivate the reader (well me anyway) so well... Top stuff mate!
Keep up the good work!
Cheers mate
GD. Rewarded 6
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Here I thought I was just selfishly reading your story once more because I love Cimiar so much, and then, since I've read other things re: Cimiar recently, two things in this story popped out at me. I'll IM them to you though.
As always, I love love LOVE reading about Cimiar, and someday, I hope you write at least one novel about his life in particular! -
For a 'short story' this is well written and interesting. The beginning sucks me in and the ending leaves me in a perfect spot. Kudos for you! Good descriptions.
Some itches I have are:
This may seem petty but I have a problem with your paragraphs. A couple of them seem to be containing way to much information in them. For instance, the second paragraph can be split into two paragraphs at "...he had overcome every one of them." And "They also brought back..." Do you see what I mean?
Para 3: 'artefacts' should be 'artifacts'.
Para 4: 'my familiar' seems a little awkward. Unless it's his style of talking it is uneeded. The reader should get the message.
Kul? Who is Kul? Is he some character that I don't know about? Maybe put a quick paragraph on who he is. Is he Cimiar's master? What?
Is Malagir supposed to be so polite? The whole "master" deal doesn't seem to go along with his personality (or of what I've picked up). The picture I got from the parts where he is snoozing and where he shrugs his shouldes makes me feel like he isn't obligated to answer his 'master'.
Other than that, I love how it ended. I love how the simplest thing seemed to have slipped the mind of a master. Charming.
Keep writing!
Cheers,
Sky
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thanks for your comments, Sky. I will look closely at your points. One quick one: "artefacts" is spelled correctly in British and Australian English -- one of many quirky differences between English speaking countries.
cheers and thanks for your time.
Gezza -
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Thanks for telling me. It looks like I'm not the only one who didn't know that!
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Interesting.
This story was full of wonderful little tidbits.
I liked how you were able to give enough background
to make it work, but not so much that it was drawn out
or boring. Overall i thought it was a well written short
story, (though it could have very well been part of a novel,
good job on that point) You're descriptions were wonderful,
and i felt you're characters weren't lacking.
A very well rounded story.
I'm not sure i really get the end of this story, but, that may just be me.
p.s. Kudos for using a stoat in your story! I love stoats.
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Thanks for your comments.
The gist of the end is that Cimiar had this nagging feeling for years that there was something he hadn't done to make his life complete, but it turned out that it was dying that was the final "challenge". This is ironic, because he was flustered by such a simple act, when he was looking for something more complicated. I suppose the other point of the ending is that this guy is POWERFUL - extended life, effectively did everything he ever wanted to do, but was still human, subject to error.
thanks again
G
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Oh, my...PLEASE tell me you have the other adventures of Cimiar written out somewhere, even if it's on antiquated papyri! (loved that phrase) Here I have his fulfilling end...do you have his beginning somewhere? My, I'm in a fey mood, I'm so into your world here that I'm having trouble focusing enough to give you anything but gushing gooey emotions. Dear me...ahem:
P3 isn't it artIfact instead of artEfact?
P7 its doesn't need an apostrophe there
There. Seriously, I would buy your books on Cimiar this minute!
(also, a stoat?)
You really got me with the reflecting back on Cimiar's past adventures and his collected treasures there. It sounds like he's a well-traveled character, and I really would love to read more about him, by you.
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Thanks yet again!
hmm... Cimiar is a legendary figure in my novels and, aside from a powerful order of spell casting alchemists called "The Cimiaric Order", the only part of my two important works that feature him is in the prologue to my first novel. If you want, I am happy to email you the prologue.
Being from OZ, artefact has the "e" in it. I think the Brits use it that way too.
A "stoat" is a variety of weazel or ferret. Very British, but I thought of using it to make it sound exotic.
cheers
Gezza -
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So the artefacts Cimiar constructed for his liege lord were in fact Australian artefacts. My, he does get around...
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lol
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Hi
This strikes me as an odd story. Cimiar's last challenge is to simply die, not that it is an easy thing to do. His familiar was a cat?
I noticed no grammar issues.
Thanks for posting this story in the New Members group. Welcome to the group
Andy, greeter
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Thanks Andy - a stoat is a type of ferret or weasel. Wikipedia will give you a bit of an insight.
G
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Yes! Yes! Yes! This is what I really wanted to see. There was a good flow, great imagery, and good details. It wasn't overpowered by dialouge and it had a nice mixture of internal thought and speech. This was good. I'm not usually a fantasy fan, but this is the best thing I've read so far (in this contest). It was really, really good.
The characters were unique and original with interesting personalities. Good job! -
Well written and described, particularly the ending, which was rather powerful, i found. An interesting read!
. Rewarded 4
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awsome! this was very well written and the ending was great.
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Stunning. I love the descriptions of the room. This is a truly powerful story, the descriptions catch the readers intrest and make the story so much more powerful while the end gives the story a deep and sad feeling to it. This is amazing!
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