The Fat Whale

Once upon a time there was a small baby whale. He was tiny. Then as he grew older he grew bigger. By the age of two, he was as fat as a house. 20 years later he was as fat as the great barrier reef. Then 1 more year passed and he exploded with all his fat floating in the great barrier reef. He was remembered by all other fat whales.

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Comments


  • RegalAngel
    May 27, 2008
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    love it! short and sweet! good job!


  • DeathNoteYaoi
    May 27, 2008
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    lol i love it funny


  • The Vertigo Effect
    May 27, 2008

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    This has a good story line behind it kind of but could've maybe been drawn out and made alittle longer.Maybe you could've made it from the whales point of view or something or maybe the other fat whales were his friend and then realised that if they ate to much they would explode to.
    Something like that to draw it out longer instead of making it so short and to the point
    All in all it was an alright story
    Just needs alittle bit of work
    Welcome to SW

    beginning: 2, language: 2, plot: 2, ending: 2, dialog: 2, characters: 2.


    • A-man
      May 27, 2008
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      Artiee

      Thanks it is my first story but I will take your advice