Down His Face

I see the blood drip down his arms and legs
he is blinded with his eyes are gouged with pain.
I shed a tear down his face to say 'i will never let you go'
With his last ounce of breath he replies 'i love you'
As he falls to a silent death

A contest entry

Can you please reply with openness about my story/poem

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Comments


  • Intrepid silver member
    July 26

    Edit | Reply
    Okay one capitilize
    Two it was nicely done and simple
    Not exactly what I was looking for but it was ok

    Blair

    good luck thansk for entering

  • living.angel
    May 29
    Edit | Reply
    okay!!!


  • Miss.Devistation
    May 26

    Edit | Reply

    Oh my god, what happened to make you write like that. It is like, crazy! I like it, great grammer and good topic! :P

     - - -   Miss.Devistation.*

  • living.angel
    May 25
    Edit | Reply
    okay???