Pulling her hair up into a bun, she checked to see if she had everything she needed for that day. She grabbed her school sweatshirt and pulled it over her head as she headed out the door towards the bus stop. "What am I going to do now?" she found herself thinking as the bus pulled up. But as usual she acted as if everything was all right on the ride to school; she didn’t want anyone to worry about her. It was the end of the school year and everyone was caught up with graduation and no one should worry about her, she thought. Still wondering, she was disturbed as the girl next to her poked her and told her to get off the bus. 1
Putting on her smile, she hopped off the bus and met up with her friends at the wall near the school’s parking lot. As usual, everyone was talking about what an amazing weekend they had planned. Heather, a junior, was talking when she realized that Michelle wasn’t paying attention. 2
"What is your problem Shell?"3
"I don't know what you're talking about, Heather." Michelle replied.4
"Okay, fine, I see what this is," she said as she turned to the rest of the group. "She doesn't trust us, that's all."5
"I do, its just . . . oh forget about it, you won’t understand anyways." 6
And with that the bell sounded, the sign that their first class was starting. Michelle, Crystal, Adam and Josh walked across the street to the other side of campus. Josh and Adam were in a deep debate about the weekend ahead of them. As Michelle and Adam walked to their first class together he had a feeling that something wasn't right. 7
"Michelle, you don't have to tell me, but what's going on? I'm worried about you!"8
"Don't worry. Its nothing, just don't feel too good that's all."9
"You didn't get into another fight with your mom did you?"10
"Nah. I wish it was that simple." She said as they walked into their class. 11
They met up with Rudy and Chris. Chris and Michelle had been best friends since the fifth grade. They were inseparable; everyone at first thought that they were either brother and sister or boyfriend and girlfriend. Then, all four of them walked over to their desks and sat down as the bell rang indicating the start of class. Chris turned around in his seat facing Michelle and said 12
"So?"13
"So what?"14
"Don't beat around the damn bush," he said. "What the heck is going on? What did you find out?"15
"Can we talk after class?"16
"I guess." He said, not satisfied, but he didn't want to draw attention to them, so he left it at that.17
Author notes
Okay.. this is one of many more parts to go. Enjoy.
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Girl, I loved this...and from what I know of you and how this has progressed so far, I have a feeling that it's from a personal experience...but don't worry I won't say anything to ruin it for anyone else...if that is what it's based upon. I think this is very well written and I love this suspence I feel writing this instead of moving on to the next part! Great job chica!
Jess -
Well, a story, and a nice one here too. Sometimes getting started is the hardest part but you've got it going and going well. Anxious to see how it turns out of course. Keep us hangin' on the edge, grandaughter. Grampa Paul
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Hey You!!
Great work on this part, glad to see you working on a story, you must be taking after me
Good character sketches here, I have a feeling this is going to turn into something wonderful.. keep writing and I'll be back to read the next part once it's posted.
Becca -
This is a good write, left us with a cliff hanger hope the next chater arrives e before long or the risk is peole will get bored with waitng, just an idea but perhaps to write all the chapters and feed them in a not too long distances, that way the audience is held by you, u to now the story is good and moves at a good ace, just dont keep us waiting too ling, good luck I am sure this is going to be a winner. hugs
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Good
Hmm...pretty good. Keep working; I want to see what happens.
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Very good wording, well written,....and...the suspense. I can't wait to read the rest of it. It leaves you wondering about what will happen next. I like that in a story. It makes it interesting. Well, anyways, good job and keep writing. You're doing good!
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Ok, I admit I am hooked now. I am wondering just what the heck it is that is bothering her. You have a great hook to keep folks coming back to see what it is that is going to happen. I am sure you planned it to do just that. Good job.
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wow... I cant wait to read the next part... keep going with it...
Ciao -
Hmm, I must read the next chapter... you left me rolling if you get what I mean... Well written and good character-relationship building... My one suggestion would be to enhance your descriptiveness. I'd like to know the physical appearances of Shell, Heather. Great job overall... I cannot wait to read the next installment!
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How common is this trend of putting short stories into poems?
Anyway, I have a 5-part poem on my thing, if you're doing a part-piece. Mine doesn't really connect like that because they're poems, not a short story like you've got going here, but if you want to read some good poetry I might have some. -
I always enjoy a good story and knowing that, touchof1der told me you were a young talent to watch and follow so I had to come read what I understand is the first in a series? I am such a sucker for series. I will be following the rest to follow this. I see this sets the stage and introduces the characters quite well.
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This is great Sweetie! A wonderful build up and enough suspense to keep everyone wondering what's going to happen next. You have us hanging by our toes here, I do hope you don't wait forever to get that next installment out. I love this easy to read style as well. There nothing to distract me and nothing to trip over as I read. Very well done!
♥ Kimberly -
Of course many things were going through my mind about what it could be. I'm sure that's what you were trying to accomplish! You did it successfully! I guess you could say it's a mini-series ste to AP instead of the small screen. Looking forward to your other installments.
s
Ted E.
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