melody of stuff

sometimes you have to get through your one and only to find your second and all1

knocking on his door
always leave him wanting more
doing things both naughty and nice
who knows where ill be at the end of the night2

walking down this road of life
it a few speed bumps
ran a few lights3

how much yelling can one life endure before it implodes like a black hole sucking everything in with it making them separate until they are considered nothing4


Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have 0. (?) (Line numbers)
    Ratings:

Comments


  • Darkhearted
    July 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    loved the first line it got me really hooked.
    awesomely good,
    Chey-Bear

  • cheetahgal
    July 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this is really good. i really enjoyed it. good job.


  • No Comment
    May 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Okay

    Honestly, this isnt really that great but it is still good. You could of definatly explained a lot more. Spent more time working on your rhyiming scheme. As for the thought that this could of been written in the spur of the moment, it isnt bad. I only suggest that if you have more time, to put your heat into a peice like this. To make sure it is wonderful.

    Soul


    • lexiconsthedevil
      May 25, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      ok. thanks for your honesty. to explain a little more. each one o these sections is meant to be a separate song or idea. i just had a spur of the moment thing and had my computer so i just had to get it all down. when i have more time and energy i will give each bit the emotion and life hey deserve. if you have any idea though please share.