Normal Abnormalities

Let me tell you now that when this chain of incidents began, I was an innocent 6-year old with little or no knowledge of the under-privileged people in this world.1

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Six years ago, at the arangetram (dance debut) of one of my many cousins, Deepa, I met him. I pictured him as a lean, unclean, drooling machine, because that was all he did: drool! I used to get frustrated just watching him lift up the corner of his navy blue, saliva-drenched terry cloth hand towel to his chin and wipe off fresh spit. But, during the few days we stayed in Phoenix, Arizona, I got used to the fact that all it seemed he was able to do was drool. The way I saw it, it wasn't Neal's fault that he had never-ending waterfalls of drool that kept spilling over his mouth and cascading down his chin.3

While my family and I, along with Neal and his family, were staying at my aunt and uncle's house, I figured it was my duty to get acquainted with this “strange” boy, Neal, and teach him to discontinue his “habit” of drooling. (Back then, I didn't realize that he is my second cousin, and that his constant drooling isn't a habit.) To fulfill my noble endeavor, I seized the chance to read to him while my parents were preoccupied, conversing with Neal's parents, Mani and Margaret. I had received the book The 101 Dalmatians as a gift from a cousin at the arangetram, and I thought it would be a perfect idea to read it to him. You see, when I decided I would read to him,  I also thought that I would be helping to further his knowledge of the English language, as he has trouble speaking. So, book in hand, I sat patiently on a couch in my aunt's living room, waiting for Neal and his parents to come downstairs. As soon as I saw Neal, I motioned for him to take a seat next to me. Once he had made himself comfortable and we had introduced ourselves, I opened the book to the first page and started to read.4

He was so excited that I was reading to him and talking to him that he kept pointing at pictures and words and smiling, as if he had never seen them before and they possessed some unknown magical power. Meanwhile, I was secretly reveling in the fact that I was possibly making an impression on Neal.5

Now forward to the summer of 2002. 5th grade had just ended and I was so excited as we were on our way to Chicago for my cousin Dev's wedding! Little did I know that I would meet that “strange boy” again, but this time, I would feel different about him.6

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As part of the events that took place at the wedding, there was an outdoor photo shoot. I leaned against an old, gnarled tree with my mother while Dev, his newlywed Sheetal, and his parents were posing for their picture. I was just dozing off when, all of a sudden, I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around and--you guessed it--it was Neal.8

“I you!” he exclaimed. What did he say? I thought. I was just about to ask what he said (and rudely, mind you, because I was very upset about being woken) when I remembered what my mom said. She had told me the truth about Neal--that he was mentally retarded, and that I had to be kind to him, that he didn't understand much. It took all my strength to keep from snapping at him, but I managed to say “What” in as polite a tone as I could possibly use.9

He pointed to himself and said, “I,” then pointed to me, “you!”10

Then it dawned on me that what he was trying to convey to me was that he remembered me. I marveled at the fact that his damaged brain was able to remember such things.11

I felt bad that his brain couldn't process things as well as mine or anyone else's could, yet at the same time, he seemed repulsive. My attitude towards him had changed quite a bit. I did not pity him as much anymore. Instead, it felt awkward and annoyingly uncomfortable to converse with him, or even be near him.12

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Well, summer was over, 6th grade had come and gone, and I was in 7th grade. Before I knew it, we were off to another wedding—the wedding of my cousin Priya, again in Phoenix, Arizona. At Priya's wedding I met up with three of my cousins who were my age, Jay (whom we nicknamed J-Lo), Rohan, and Maya. They weren't at the other two occasions. We would hang out with each other all the time because the adults...well...let's face it, adults aren't that much fun to talk to if you're a kid, especially when you have different points-of-view. As for our other cousins, they were all in their 20s and 30s. In fact, the only other person closer to our age that we could have talked to was Neal's 16-year old brother, Nathan.14

After the wedding, there was a reception in the upstairs lobby of the Hyatt, which was where the wedding was held. That was when my view of Neal changed, yet again.15

J-Lo, Rohan, Maya, and I were chatting with Nathan and some of our older cousins. Then we noticed that Neal was sticking to Nathan and kept on staring back and forth from us to our cousins. Apparently, Nathan was the only person he was comfortable with. Our consciences were making us feel guilty that we were excluding him, so we went to get drinks and took him with us. From then on, we hung out with him as well. We understood. And, finally, I understood.16