Early morning steams rises,
upon a lake of elegance.
A brisk winter morn,
emulating natures gift to man.
Basking in delight,
a benevolent sight indeed.
Nestled anonymously,
heightening senses, transcendental.
Author notes
MysticalRayne
Comments
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This was good.
Hey, a fellow old person on this site. Great!
I thought I was alone here in my elderly love for the literary things of life, but am slowly finding there are those here like me, I just have to sort through all the chatspeak to find them.
I know you're not old, but sometimes the lingo here makes me feel it and I was relieved to find more authors here in my age group. It'd be nice to use period lingo and have it understood.
I thought this was good and captured well the cool solace that such mornings bring. It took me back to many an early morning at summer camp watching the sun rise over the lake at the dawn of day. And yes, it is cool as hell the way the mist shrouds the surface of the water so early in the morning. I enjoyed this.
Only hinkys I would bring attention to are trivial
I would say "early morning mists" perhaps? It adds a nice little bit of alliteration and is more in line with the physics of this phenomenon. Technically, it's not steam. I know, I know, it sounds anal and it is. Forgive me.
Also, I didn't understand the significance of using the word "anonymously".
With these trivial asides, this was a good write.
al
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This was brilliant! Short, but to the point. I think it was your word choice that affected me the most...you have a strong command over that. Brilliantly done! Durian
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Another wonderful short poem. I love the way you use so few words to describe something so powerful. Overall wonderfully done. Thank you for entering my contest and good luck, again.
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