Best friends fovever

As Tom was writing his 2000 word essay about the sun itself, he did not see the flying football that was heading towards him.1

'Bang!'2

"Oh my god sorry mate," said a tall boy about his age who had sandy blonde hair with dark blues eyes that would make any girl go crazy. 3

"Well you should be sorry, Matt," said Tom angry as he picked his 2000 word essay off of the ground which was now covered in mud.4

"Tom, put that stupid thing, you call homework, down and come play football like a Normal person will you?" said Matt as he helped Tom to find the last page for his essay.5

"Matt you know I am bad at sports and my glasses will break and mum will get mad," said Tom as he put the essay together.6

"AW Tom, your mean. What kind of best friend are you?” said Matt 7

"One of a kind," said Tom as he pushed Matt down. He didn't know there was a hill, they both laughed as they fell and rolled down the hill. 8 8

"Hey Matt?"9

"Yeah, Tom."10

"Remember how we became best friends?" said Tom as he sat up to face Matt,11

"ummmmmm, oh yeah. I saved you from those bullies in year 7," said Matt12

"You mean bullies that were your friends?" said Tom,13

Flash back 14

"HA! You are the biggest nerd around here, so why should we leave you alone?" said one of the bullies. 15 15

"JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" cried Tom 16 16

"Hey Matt, look at this kid." said the bully 17 17

"Ok, but quick, I got a date," said matt as he looked at the kid. The boy looked around his age; black hair with light green eyes with round rimmed glasses.18

"Finish him off, Matt." said the bully grabbing the boy’s hands around his back. As Matt put his fist together and took a swing, Tom closed his eyes to get ready for the stabbing pain. Tom opened his eyes, but he did not find what he expected to. The larger of the two bullies was lying on the ground clutching his stomach and whimpering in pain.19

"Come on." said Matt grabbing Tom's hand and ran away form the scene.20

End of flash back21

"Yeah, I remember you didn't talk to me for three weeks after that," said Matt,22

"Well no one das done that for me before." said Tom. 23

They both looked at the sun setting in the pale evening sky. Tom looked at the time.24

"Well, I am going home," said Tom. "Do you want to come, Matt?"25

" No thank-you Tom. I have to be of home soon."26

"See you later. I will come to your house about 8am , ok?"27

" Ok then, later"28

the next morning, Tom was waiting at the door for Matt.29

"Hey Matt hurry up, we will miss the bus!” said Tom as he saw Matt doing his hair.30

"Wait Tom. My hair is the most important part of body." said Matt as he plays with his hair.31

"Man, you’re worse than a girl trying to pick out what to where." said Tom, seeing the bus just down the road.32

Tom grabbed Matt and dragged him out of the house.33

"The bus is here!" said Tom as he went outside. As both of them entered the bus, Tom looked around to see if there was a seat for them. As Tom found a seat for them, someone thought it would be funny to trip Tom. He landed face first on the ground.34

People started to shout out, "Did u have a nice trip?" and started to point and laugh at him. As Matt helped him up, the bus felt quiet.35

"Are u ok?"Said Matt.36

"Yeah I am fine, thanks for your help." said Tom.37

As the bus went, Tom felt really awkward. He could hear people talking about him behind his back; he felt a tap on his shoulder. Tom saw Matt smile at him, which made him lucky to have a friend like him.38

In class they both sat next to each other as the teacher called the roll, the teacher stopped and looked at the door. There was a girl standing there looking rather nervous.39

Matt’s mouth dropped as he saw the girl, Tom waved his hand in front of his face,"Hello?” said Tom, he look to see what Matt was staring at. Tom was angry that Matt was staring at this girl and stopping him from learning.40

She had Blonde hair with green eyes that could sweep you away; her body was fantastic and perfectly curved. She walked past them flicking her hair that made all the boys fall of their seats. She sat next to Matt who passed out when she looked at him. 41

"Well hi there, my Name is Kimberly” she said as she looked at him.42

"Hey" they said together. Matt trounced her hand.43

"Well my name is Matt."
Kimberly giggled flirtatiously and played seductively with his hair.
"And who is this” she said pointing at Tom.44

"Oh, that is just my mate Tom” said Matt as he moved himself closer to Kimberly.45

Tom was cut, all he could do was sit and hear there giggle.46

 47

After the school Matt went with Kimberly to here house to have some "fun”, Tom said to Matt don’t forget they have an assignment to do for because Matt was to busy looking at Kim then doing their assignment.48

 49

As time went bye, Tom waited for Matt , After hours went by Tom realised that matt was not coming, Tom sigh he went to turn off the light, there was a knock on the door. 50

 51

There he saw Matt with a smile that crash tom’s heart of friendship .He open to door.52

 53

"Where was you?" ask Tom.54

 55

"Sorry I was late "said Matt as he tried to get in the room. 56

 57

"No Matt, Tell me where were you?” Tom asks again.58

 59

"I was at Kim’s” said Matt.60

 61

"That it all you talk about it Kim!" said Tom 62

 63

"Why do you care if I like Kimberly" said Matt as tom tyred to push matt out of the door. 64

 65

"Because we are best friends Matt, and I think that the last time I am going to say those words again” said Tom as he push matt and slam the door in his face . 66

 67

"FINE, I don’t care be a loser that what you all were being” said Matt angry as we walk a way. 68

 69

 That night Tom walks out if the house to think what happen. 70

 71

 "I lost my best friend ,now what I cant just say I sorry said Tom as he was walking though the park.72

 73

As Tom was talk to himself he did not know that the bullies was right behind him at the time. Tom turned around to see the horror he saw.74

 75

"Well look what we have there, were is your so called "best friend" Said the bully that went closer to Tom ,Tom saw that they had bats and knifes in there hands, Tom closed his eyes as the leader made the first moved. 76

 77

Smack went the leader of the group as he fell down on the ground to find Matt was standing there beside him.78

 79

Tom could not believe it he came back,   "Matt "said Tom as he walk to him but the leader came back up to try again but he and the rest came to join him this time. They both had not weapons to help them. 80

 81

 "Tom I want you to run NOW!” said Matt as the bullies came towards them, Tom jump in the bushies to see the fight. 82

 83

 Matt step back as the leader try the hit him back and forwards he went. "Tom called the police now” cried Matt, Tom raced to the phone booth to call 911 as fast as he can but the rest of the gang saw what he was doing and race towards Tom. 84

 85

Matt saw what was going now and pushed the leader in the river and race as fast as he could to save his best friend, Tom answer the phone as the man question Tom.86

 87

"Please come quick "cried Tom as he saw the bullies coming towards him but to his shock he saw matt come racing to the bullies.88

 89

 The policeman ask Tom were they were but the power went out.90

 91

"*bunny* the power went out "cried Tom as he slammed the phone.92

 93

"Tom just get the *bunny* out of here” said Matt as he punch one of the bullies in the face as Tom turned around the leader of the group grab tom shirt and pulled out a knife to his face. 94

 95

 "NO” said Matt as he tyred to push the bullies out of the way but Matt was to late .The leader of the bullies stabbed Tom, Matt saw the last look of Tom face as he hit the ground.  96

 97

I open my eyes
I try to see but I’m blinded by the white light
I can’t remember how
I can’t remember why
I’m lying here tonight98

And I can’t stand the pain
And I can’t make it go away
No I can’t stand the pain99

How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me100

Everybody’s screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I’m slipping off the edge
I’m hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again101

So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can’t explain what happened
And I can’t erase the things that I’ve done
No I can’t102

How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me103

I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me 104


At Tom's funeral Matt, Kim and tom parents were there as the priest said the memories of tom's life, matt cried as he saw the body went in the ground.105

 106

As Matt place a flower on Tom tombstone it said "There lies a son and a best friend" 107

 108

The end   109

 110

A contest entry

Plz tell me if they spelling gone bad :D

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have 0. (?) (Line numbers)
    Ratings:

Comments

1 - 22 of 22

  • Mel-the-Believer
    September 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This was really good. I liked it a lot. Very nicely written. Thank you so much for entering the contest. Good luck. God Bless!


  • Dassy
    September 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    it was really good up until the huge paragraph... tehn i got lost. Istill followed the storyline, but the river came out of nowhere, and so did the bulliwes and matt and just like everything happened so fast and stuff. The ending poem/ song was really good tho, so great job with that. I am applauding the poem btw... well 1 applause is for the story... the other 2 are for the poem


  • Shah Z
    June 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Well!

    I think I won't do you justice, first of all i would say to put in Spell Check using MS Word or Mozilla Firefox. Next I would want you to make the story a bit long, If you get what I am saying I thing you should rewrite the whole thing on the paper a couple of times, you will be surprised with improvement with each attempt. In the plot as well as the grammar. I can reread it for you, if you don't want to rewrite, then at least put spell check, I thing you can bring out a lot more from it.

    Shah.


  • pixxy
    June 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    cool


  • Peachy
    June 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This would have been a terrific story if....
    you could only fix your grammar and spelling!
    The storyline and plot is excellent but the grammar really distracts the reader from the actual story. Try putting it through spell check and then I'll put this in the finals, because it is a good STORY.
    Screen name in the AN please, as I said in the rules.
    Try putting more description and that'll make it even better, and you could even make it into a sweet gay love story, now that would be sweet
    Good Luck!


    • DeathNoteYaoi
      June 21, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      damn it i hate my spelling i tryed put in thought spell cheak but nothing happen all well i try next time


  • whatami
    June 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Your punctuation's bust. That kinda drew me away from the story. I couldn't help grimacing. Nice plot, good descriptions. Great job, and good luck.


    • DeathNoteYaoi
      June 18, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      thax sorry about the spelling i hate it i can do stories but i cant spell damn it


  • Yoko
    June 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    So sad. Best friends and one died. So sad. Tom thought Matt wasn't his friend because of a girl. That is sooo cute, and realy sad. I know how you work now. You make people happy, than you make them sad by writing a sad ending. Lol. Keep writing. Hehe, mew!


  • Siji-Hawkeye
    June 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    awwww that is so sad what happened to Tom and how Matt is hurt of loosing such a good friend...its very deep and touching, it just makes me cry (literlly)


  • RegalAngel
    June 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    i knew it! i knew u would kill someone off! cool story chiki8! (and now u cant bug me too read it!)


  • My-Name-Is-Nobody
    May 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    omg, i cried T.T that was very cute and beautiful. the grammar could use some help but i understood it well enough ^-^


  • RegalAngel
    May 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    awsome chiki! cant wait for the end


  • legnA-livE
    May 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    kool.


  • Shah Z
    May 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Sure you cane be. Just keep updating it and tell me when you thinks it's ready to read.


    • DeathNoteYaoi
      May 30, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      i Done it u can read it now YAY


    • DeathNoteYaoi
      May 29, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      HEy i think that i will no finish the story on the end of the conest will u still read it if it no done yet?

  • Shah Z
    May 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Best Friends forever.

    Right me a story about two friends. Best friends, boys.

    One cool dude and other a bit geeky. The Geek is not good at anything compared to his friend.

    Then there's a girl. How love destroys friendship that becomes enmity.

    Overflow it with emotion and description. Before entering the girl into the scene, right me about their friendship. Develop characters beautifully, I will be watching that particularly.

    Must have a sad ending. Good Luck!


    • DeathNoteYaoi
      May 23, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      ok

      so can i be one of the boys in the story ? btw when i am done with it how do i send it to u?

1 - 22 of 22