Karma

“I thought you’d be there for me!” Derrick cried. He dropped what was in his hands to the ground. Papers fluttered in the wind, flying along the street side. A car drives away, leaving him along crying. He stumbled over to the sidewalk and flopped down, curling in upon himself. Derrick’s vision faded to back and he awakened an hour later as the street lamps flickered on.1

He walked in a daze down the street to his home. He didn’t believe what happened. It seemed like only yesterday they were just beginning. Everything was perfect between the two, so he thought, but he was just being led on. The love of his life, his first love, left him on the roadside and drove away without another thought. 2

‘How could he go and do that to me? I thought he loved me. He said he’d always be there for me no matter what he had to do. I just don’t understand…’3

He walked through the door to his house, his parents looked up and saw his tear-stained cheeks. His mom went to stand but Derrick just raised his hand and shook his head no. He walked up the stairs to his room, closed his door, and lied on the bed. 4

Sleep crept up from the darkness and overtook him. Hours passed, and still hours passed. Countless times his mom cracked the door to assure herself that he was fine, and each time he never moved. She returned to her husband, worry written all over her face. All her husband could do was pull her into a warm embrace and rock her gently, his gaze never leaving the stairs.5

Hours turned to days, and still he wouldn’t leave the bed. He would roll over and stare at the ceiling. The alarm clock would blare at five thirty every morning and he would lay there and listen to it until his father came and turned it off. He’d look over at his son, give a weary smile as he smoothed his hair, and then disappear out the door as his life continued on. He would sit in bed and write countless poems of pain and hurt, and shed more tears over his lost lover.6

It was a Wednesday afternoon, school had just let out half an hour ago, when his closest friend Alyssa came to see him. She let herself in and climbed the stairs until she stood outside his door. There she stood, listening, before she knocked. 7

“It’s me, Alyssa,” she called. He gave a grunt and she heard him rustle beneath the sheets. Slowly, she opened the door and peeked inside. He was sitting up in bed, attempting to look the least bit happier.8

“Hey, Derrick. How you holding up?”9

“I’m…” he cleared his throat. “I’ve been better. Sorry I haven’t called you in a while.”10

“Don’t worry about it, love. I knew you probably wanted some time to yourself, you know, just to gather your thoughts.”11

“I don’t think all this time worked too well. My chest hurts every now and again when I breathe. I’m still so confused.” He held his head in his hands. Alyssa rounded the bed and sat next to him, drawing him into her embrace.12

“Don’t worry about it right now, okay? Sometimes things happen and we don’t understand why. But somewhere along the way, you’ll come to a point in your life and you’ll realize that this, no matter how terrible it is, happened for a reason.”13

“If only that day would come faster. I’m tired of waiting for this to stop.” Derrick tightened his grip around her waist.14

“It will never come if you sit here at home, moping around. You have to get up, pull yourself together and move on with your life. It’s obvious Jake did it. You can’t give him the satisfaction of knowing that he has the power to break you. You have to let him go. But you should also know I’m here for you too.”15

“How can I go to school and face him, Aly? Just one good look at him and he’ll now why I’ve been gone for so long. I don’t know if I can face him…”16

“I think you can, better yet, I know you can. You’re just as strong as I am, and even stronger sometimes. When I needed help, you never hesitated to jump for my cause. Now it’s my turn. You won’t face Jake alone. Me and all the rest of our friends are here for you. Always and forever.”17

“Thanks, Aly. You’re the best.” Aly stood up and ruffled his hair, producing his bubbly laugh that hadn’t been heard for a good minute. “ You might wanna prepare yourself for school tomorrow. You’ve got some work to catch up on.” She gave him a wink and walked out the room. On her way out, his mom was going through the door.18

“Hey Alyssa, is Derrick alright?”19

“Hey Mrs. Warner. Yes, Derrick is going to be just fine. I’ve got him covered.” She flashed a cheery smile and slipped past her onto the sidewalk.20

Mrs. Warner walked up the stairs to find Derrick’s door wide open. She stepped inside and called for him. 21

“Derrick?” She received no answer. He came out of the bathroom and look at her.22

“Hey Mom. What are you doing?”23

“Are you feeling better?”24

“Yes, a bit better. Alyssa came and talked to me. She was a big help.”25

“I’m very glad. So are you okay?”26

“Jake didn’t leave me a choice in the matter. I have to be. He’s not going to ruin my life. I have things that I want to do. Now I just have to do them without him.”27

“I’m so glad you’re feeling better. I was so worried about you.” She wrapped him in her arms and he returned the squeeze.28

“I’m fine now Mom. I’ve also decided that I’m going to school tomorrow.” Mrs. Warner gave him a weird look and he just smiled. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.” He walked into his room and closed the door.29

Soon after his dad came home, Derrick was called downstairs for dinner. His dad had come and checked in on him, just as his mom had, almost every five minutes it seemed. They were still wary of him falling into another depression. Derrick, knowing exactly what they were doing, kept a smile on his face to ward them off.30

The alarmed sounded for the first time in a week, but wasn’t allowed to continue it’s morning serenade. Derrick pulled his hand back and laid it across his eyes. He threw his legs over the side of his bed and shuffled down the hall to the bathroom. Standing at the sink, stared at himself in the mirror for a while. Mrs. Warner gently knocked on the door. 31

“Are you alright in there?” She called.32

“Yes, Mom. I’m fine, thanks.” He brushed his teeth, washed his face and took one last look in the mirror. His face had hardened. He hardly looked like the young man that used to go and hang out on Friday nights anymore. He tried smiling but it didn’t quite touch his eyes.33

He left the bathroom to dress himself for the long day that surely laid ahead. All the while his heart pounded faster and faster, harder and harder.34

‘Deep breaths.’ He kept telling himself. Turning on his radio, his heart became a dull thud in his chest as he sang to his music.35

“Derrick, get a move on son. You’ll miss the bus.” Derrick poked his head out the door to tell, “36

I’m about to leave.” He ducked back inside, grabbed his backpack and phone, and sped down the stairs. He stopped at the door, and turned to wave at his mom standing the kitchen doorway.37

“See you later, Ma.”38

“Bye dear. Have a good day.” Derrick waved as he closed the door behind him. 39

The bus came soon after he arrived at the bus stop. People from the back called his name and he looked up from his feet to see a bunch of smiling faces, Alyssa’s included in the group. He grinned as he walked to where she was saving him a seat. All his friends patted him on the back, and uttered words of encouragement, as he sat and the bus rolled forward.40

Towards the school they rode. Each passing moment filling with tension. Alyssa held his hand and patted his thigh with assurance.41

“We’re behind you one hundred percent Derrick. Don’t worry about anything.” 42

Soon the bus had stopped and everyone stood, except Derrick.43

“Alyssa, he’ll see right through me! Even with you guys there behind me, how am I supposed to deal with that?”44

“Oh Derrick! Come on! You can’t just sit around and wait for life to get better. You have to take action! And your first step into action is to get off this bus and into that building. I’m telling you, you’ll be absolutely fine. You worry too much sometimes, you know?” She smiled and held out her hand. Derrick tentatively took it and stood up. They stepped side by side into the building where Derrick took a deep breathe. It had been a while since he’d been there last. Everything was exactly the same as when he left. He went to his locker and stood spinning the dial trying to recall the numbers to his combination.45

“24,6,15.” A voice said from beside him. Derrick slide to the left and snapped his head up. His eyes stared into those of his ex-boyfriend, Jake.46

“Thanks…..” He turned his back and spun the dial, grabbed a book and shut it. He went to walk away but Jake grabbed hold of his arm. Derrick flailed his arm, trying to release his grip.47

“Let go!” He yelled, holding his arm in front of him. “What is your problem?”48

“I was trying to be nice to you and you’re just going to walk away.”49

“Yes I sure am. Reminds you of something doesn’t it? Only I won’t lie about it.” Jake reached out his hand and Derrick took two steps back. 50

“Don’t touch me, okay? I’m not playing this game with you or anyone ever again. You just left me, not to mention you lead me on for such a long time. Six months, Jake. Six months you lied to me, six months that I led you hold my heart. It only took 5 minutes for you to shatter it into a million plus pieces. But now my heart is mending and I’m still here breathing. Unfortunately, I’m wasting breath on you. So I’ll be on my way. Drop it here and leave me alone, got it?”51

Jake just stood there. His mouth forming all kinds of weird shapes, grasping for something to say and finding nothing. He cocked his head to the side as Derrick shook his. Derrick turned and walked away as Alyssa approached him.52

“Hey. Are you okay? Was that douche bothering you, babe?”53

“No Aly. I’ve got it taken care of.” He hooked his arm into hers and flashed a smile. “I think it’s time we get to class, no?”54

Alyssa smiled. “I told you that you’d be fine. And you didn’t even need my help!”55

“A lot more than you know. I never would’ve made it this far if it weren’t for you.” Alyssa unhooked her arm and threw it around his neck, pulling him into a bear hug. He laughed and nice heartwarming laugh and squeezed back. She moaned and they let each other go and walked into class.56

Jake stood leaning against Derrick’s locker running his hands through his hair, so confused and so hurt, but he got what he deserved. Nothing more and nothing less. That’s the way Karma intended it.