Your eyes have cast a spell on me1
My heart just won't listen to me anymore2
Oh! Beloved3
Leave the world behind4
Come to me5
Come to my arms6
Come on7
In every prayer, my love for you speaks out8
Life with you is unimaginable9
My heartbeats crave for you10
Form you my love11
I love you12
Only you13
The day I found you14
I simply lost my self15
Oh! Beloved16
Leave those who dwell in it, behind17
Come to me18
In my arms19
Come on!20
A contest entry
- Poetry!!!! by Shadowed Phoenix.
900 points, ended June 5, 64 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Is it any good
Comments
-
I'm not much a love poetry fan but this seems more of a poem of longing then anything. This is actually a good poem overall. However I think you need some grammer and stanza formation. Try using commas to symbolize pauses and periods for completed sentences. This poem is fairly strait foreword in its meaning so there's not much to comment on there. You use simple words to describe a simple longing and do it in a way that makes the peice seem simple and strait foreword. If that is what you intended on doing then you did it very well. Overall a good poem. Thank you for entering my contest and good luck.
-
i'm not much for poems usually. not that i don't like them- i usally just don't get them. but i liked this. artistic, elegant, simple and poignant. beautiful language. very nice. especially if you have a love of your own to compare this to.
-
This was very nice ....enjoyed reading
Adding your comment:
