Driving Home

Emily awoke suddenly from her deep sleep. She was disorientated for a moment and then realised that something must have woken her. This wasn't the way it normally happened, she'd gradually wake, slipping slowly into consciousness, becoming increasingly aware of the aches and pains in her old body as she did so. Every morning her first thought would be 'I'm still here, why am I still here?' but not today. It wasn't that she was depressed or suicidal or anything like that, she was just old and her time was up. All her friends were long gone, one by one they'd departed, leaving just her and Jack, and then finally he'd gone, leaving her totally alone. She had family who loved her, grand children who rang her, great grandchildren who sang and played games around her when they visited, but she didn't care anymore, she loved them all of course, but she was no longer interested in the dramas and goings on, she'd listen and think 'One day you'll be like me, it will all be over and you'll be waiting, just waiting for what's next.'1

So normally she thought 'Why am I still here?' but why was today different? Today she thought 'something woke me, what was it?' The dawn was just creeping through the bedroom window giving the room a slight golden glow as she thought hard 'it was a car door slamming, someone going early', it took a moment for her to realise with a start that she hadn't heard a car door slam for at least 30 years, these days car doors didn't slam, they hissed gently opening and closing, not since the early 21st century had cars had doors that you had to open and close manually. It was all clicks and voice activation these days. 2

Emily decided that she'd carefully check out the window with the help of her frame, normally she'd use her frame to take herself to her chair and wait for Ella the home-aid nurse to arrive to shower her and help her with breakfast, Ella only ever had ˝ hour to do this, so her visit was always rushed, but she was a lovely girl and seemed to love Emily a lot. She always told Emily she was her favourite client, but Emily suspected she told all her clients that. Well today was turning out to be little different to normal so she carefully sat up and with the support of her frame, stood up. Amazingly, she felt stronger and healthier than she had in years, she even felt she'd be able to walk to the window without the help of her frame, but she used it just in case, she didn't want to be lying for 2 hours on the floor in pain with a broken hip waiting for Ella to arrive. She'd been down that road before and it hadn't been pleasant.3

She looked out the window and there it was. A car. An old car, a type she hadn't seen for many years, just sitting in her driveway. Emily didn't have a car; she'd given up driving 15 years ago and hadn't had a car since, so how had a car managed to appear in her driveway? She automatically walked to her front door, not even realising she hadn't taken the frame with her and whispered quietly 'open'. The front door swung open and she walked carefully out into the dim morning light. 4

Somewhere deep in her mind a memory stirred as she looked at the vehicle parked there, it was so familiar….. 'Where had she seen it before and how could it be in her drive, it must be at least 70 years old, how had it got there?' Too many questions for her muddled old brain, but still she walked towards it in wonder. It was unlocked and she was amazed to see a key in an old ignition switch, no voice activation, and no buttons to click. Without even thinking she opened the door and carefully climbed in. Then she pinched herself, hard! It hurt a lot, so no, she wasn't dreaming. 5

It hit her in a flash, this had been his car, Jack's car. The car he'd driven to her parent's house to pick her up on their first date, the car he'd driven her to the restaurant in on Valentines Day when he'd proposed, the car she'd had to learn to drive because it was a stick shift and she didn't know how. Remembering this, she laughed out loud, how scared she'd been and how she'd had to practice driving it. She was still laughing at the memory of those days as she started the car and reversed out her driveway, it was so early and there didn't appear to be anyone else up yet and on the road, which was very fortunate as she was very out of practice driving. Slowly she drove down the street and around the corner, the memories of her driving days growing stronger and stronger as she flicked indicators, put the headlights on and off, enjoying every second. The sun was much stronger now, almost like a midday sun and there were cars on the road, lots of them but she barely noticed, she just kept driving along still laughing as long forgotten memories came flooding back. She looked in admiration at the sparkling engagement ring on the long elegant fingers clutching the steering wheel. 'Beautiful hands' she thought 'young woman's hands'6

Finally she turned into a familiar street and drove down it, in the distance a handsome young man was waving at her and she drove towards him, pulled into the drive of the house he was standing in front of and parked. The handsome young man opened the door and held his hand out to her and she took it7

"See" he said "I told you that you could do it" he said laughing as he helped her out,8

"Hurry though, your mum has lunch ready" Before Emily even had a chance to say a word he was dragging into her old house and her long dead parents were sitting at the table with the lunch spread waiting for them, she opened her mouth to say "What's going on" and the words "Sorry I kept you waiting" came out, she walked towards her mother with the intention of holding her close and crying but instead she said down and started serving lunch onto her plate, before she knew it conversation regarding the upcoming wedding was flowing, there was lots of laughing and the little voice in her head that was expressing concern that this was not right was getting quieter and quieter.9

The next morning her father came in with a cup of coffee to wake her and she sat up slowly. The first thing she saw was her beautiful wedding dress hanging up in plastic waiting for the big day on Saturday. She must have looked strange because her father said,10

"Are you alright Em?" She looked at him confused 11

"Yes, I think so, I think I had a strange dream, but I can hardly remember it… I was old" she shook her head as if trying to shake away the nagging dream.12

"Never mind, said her Dad, you have so much on your mind, that's probably why you are having strange dreams" He put down the coffee next to her bed and she smiled, yesterday she had hinted to Jack that she expected a coffee every morning because he dad gave her one, but Jack had said 'Well he's quite welcome to bring you one, he can bring me one while he's at it' and they'd laughed some more, she'd never felt so happy as she did this week, a week of anticipation, a week getting everything ready for the big day, it which case she better get up and get on with it.13

The next few days were crazy, dress fittings for the bridesmaids, nails done, trips to the beautician, beautiful presents being delivered to the house, friends ringing to wish her luck, so much running around, so much fun and laughter, everything was running so smoothly until Thursday, the wedding rehearsal. Emily was standing out the front of the church and was horrified to see the best man arrive…. on crutches. He laughed when he saw the look of horror on her face14

"Don't worry, it's only a sprain, I'll be fine by Saturday" Emily let out a sigh of relief15

"What happened" she exclaimed and then listened as he related a close call while rock climbing. 16

"I thought it was the end of me" he laughed "I saw my life flash before my eyes, only all the good bits though" Emily looked at him startled and he looked at her strangely17

"Emily are you alright?" something about what he'd said had made her feel odd.18

"Yes I'm fi…………" she started to respond when Jack called from inside the building,19

"Stop chatting and hurry up guys" The moment was forgotten and they all rushed in for a joke laden wedding rehearsal followed by a long late dinner at a local restaurant. They were the last ones to leave, the restaurant owners had joked that they had thought about kicking them out earlier because they'd been having too much of a good time and making all the other patrons jealous.20

Emily's wedding day dawned and she woke early. There was so much to do, the hair appointment was at 7am, but it was only 5.30am, she had some time to lie there and reflect, it had been an amazing week, so much fun. She and her family had grown so close, they always had been, but this week had been special. She knew today was going to be an amazing day to cap off the amazing week, the best week and the best day of her entire life. She knew there would be good times and bad times ahead but this time would always be special. Slowly she got out of bed to start the day, no coffee from Dad this morning, he'd still be snoring, but that was ok, she'd let him off as it was 5.30am. Besides today she thought she'd make him one since it was her last day at home.21

She and her Dad sat together in the Wedding car driving to the church. She was suddenly feeling very nervous, the feeling that she was in a dream was becoming stronger and stronger, like she was becoming disassociated with her surroundings. 22

"Daddy I'm scared" she whispered,23

"Don't be afraid" he said holding her arm "we all have to go through it" She thought this answer was a little strange, not everyone got married so not everyone did have to go through it, but she didn't question his answer as she thought he was probably a little nervous as well. They arrived in good time, she was only a little late and out they climbed with camera's flashing and bridesmaids fussing, it was all so surreal. Gradually everyone made their way to the entrance and from inside the church she could hear the music start. The bridesmaids headed off before her, leaving her and her father ready for their turn.24

"Lets go" he whispered and slowly they started down the aisle. At the end she could see Jack's beaming face watching her as she made her way down slowly. Around her she could see the faces of her friends smiling brightly at her and she beamed back in return. 'All my friends' she thought...'All my dead friends'. Slowly she kept walking towards Jack, but now she was alone, her friend's bright faces where so bright that now she couldn't even see them anymore, just the brightness enveloping her from everywhere. The music was fading into silence as she kept walking towards Jack's smiling face. Everything else had been obscured by the brightness and all she could see was him. He was holding his hand out to her and finally she reached him and took his hand.25

"Where am I?" she asked26

"You're home," he replied holding her to him.27

"You're finally home."28

Ella knew as soon as she opened the door that something wasn't right. Normally Emily was sitting in the lounge room dozing in her chair with a book on her lap, but not today. She made her way into the bedroom and found Emily there. This had happened to Ella before and she was happy when her clients died peacefully in their sleep, it really was a blessing, but never had she seen such a look of peace as she did today. Emily's face was glowing to an extent that she reminded Ella of a young woman on the happiest day in her life. She went to place the sheet over Emily's face but first she gently kissed her forehead. She'd never done that before, but Emily had been her favourite and she was going to miss her.