The Inevitable Act

A job done with no reward in sight
A crime done with all desire, that's right1

A willing end to a show well played
A suspenseful stop to a song well made2

What goes up
Must come down3

What starts
Will end4

Rules no one can change
Placed by one, who no one knows his name5

What was born
soon turns to bone6

A painful start
Begins the longest art7

A slow end
Which this start begets

Author notes

I was bored one night and decided to make a dark poem about life's subliminal meaning.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Lady Godiva
    October 6

    Edit | Reply
    this is very interesting, thanks for your entry, i am intrigued(word of the night :])
    snaps and good luck!
    Alyana

  • sassykitty gold member
    June 27
    Edit | Reply
    I did like the abstraction of this and the way you constructed it. Nice use of contrasts and opposites throughout too.I also like the way you use couplets, it shows the positivity and negativity very well, overall an interesting write. Thanks for sharing.


  • kitty ROSE
    June 9
    Edit | Reply
    Woah =/ This is nice...


  • lexiconsthedevil
    May 31

    Edit | Reply
    this is good. the ending feels a little left open. i think that you build up so much that it kinda doesnt slow down. but this is very good

  • Shadowed Phoenix
    May 23

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    Placed by one, who no one knows his(suggest using by instead of his, keeps the not knowing to a deeper degree by not giving a gender) name5

    I like this. I wouldn't say its dark really but a little morbid. Your consistant use of the two lined stanzas gives the peice an organized look compared to if you'd left it as one long poem. It may just be me but for some reason the last word of the last stanza doesn't seem to fit. My only suggestion is to use commas at the end of some of your lines, and periods at the end of each stanza to give the peice more of a pace. A comma should be placed whereever you wan't a pause at the end of a stanza and a period at the end of each sentence (Which appears to be at the end of each stanza). Overall a wonderful poem with good meaning. Thank you for entering my contest and good luck.

1 - 6 of 6