Secret Radio Murders1
By Andy Stephenson and Geri Fitzsimmons 2
Chapter Eleven3
It was that brief period in time, when the late night people of Manhattan faded into the confines of their apartments mostly in the other boroughs of the city; and the day life was only beginning to emerge. The June sun hadn’t completely kicked the darkness from the sky, when the man opted to relax in the cool breezes of Central Park. 4
Renee Weinberg, slender perhaps tipping the scales a 110 pounds, with her dark brown hair bouncing on her shoulders, jogged here for an hour each morning. Yesterday he’d run by her. Completely at ease with his hoody pulled up to hide his face; he enjoyed the scent of her sweat in the air as he passed by her.5
Certain that she would return to claim her white Mazda parked just outside the fence, he didn’t bother to run this morning. It was pleasant for him to sit in open places watching the life of the city moving along. He would contemplate the value of individuals, guessing at their type of employment, what if any credible assets they gave back to society for the privilege of life. For life to him was a gift many humans didn’t deserve. In particularly weak and whiny females who hung on to some man though he abused or demeaned them. He saw these women as disgusting creatures who should be removed from existence before their bodies could bring forth youngsters to share their fate. 6
An intelligent man, he’d been only slightly troubled by the police visit. He felt confident that their investigations into these suicides were still just that—something they were required to do to earn their pay. Finishing the takeout coffee, that had finally grown cool enough to drink, he glanced around for a trash receptacle. The only one in the immediate area hadn’t been emptied after a night’s use. He took several tissues from his pocket wiped the cup inside and out before he crushed the Styrofoam and placed it in the pocket of his jogging shorts.7
New York was the perfect spot for him. He’d only arrived in New York less than a year ago and already he knew the city better than folks who had lived here all their lives. This became his new hunting ground. There where so many lonely worthless young females here. These severely depressed suicidal women were easily coerced into taking their own lives with his assistance. 8
He was proud of himself for changing his technique. That last Carolina murder had nearly finished him. The bitch only had a few hundred in her checking account and her charge cards were maxed out. Short on funds, he’d been forced to stay in Charleston longer than he planned. 9
While he sweat out those last weeks in Charleston awaiting payment for jewelry he was forced to unload in a hurry, a new plan took form. Since it wasn’t important how the women died, just that the wimpy little wenches met an early death; he’d decided to create a new modus operandi. 10
Now he glanced up just as Renee jogged into view. He looked down and his hoody further disguised his features as he began rubbing his left calf muscle while she ran by him. 11
Her scent of sweat lingered in the air a moment, like the predator he was he sniffed and smiled in anticipation.12
It was just a quarter to seven. The skinny brunette had two hours before her first class.13
With no need to follow Renee since he knew her destination, he waited until the white Mazda pulled into traffic. 14
Nonchalantly he headed for his own car. From the trunk he removed a pair of navy slacks and black loafers. He slipped out of the hoody and tossed it inside. Once the air conditioner’s output sufficiently cooled the inside of the auto he pulled on his slacks, shoved in the bottom of the dress shirt he’d worn under the hoody and exchanged white sneakers for black loafers.15
A quick comb to dark hair, and he set off to reel in his prey.16
At twenty five past eight, the white Mazda was still where he expected it to remain until quarter till nine when Renee, with wet hair hanging and a tote hung over her shoulder would come rushing from the apartment building.17
Not this morning my delightful Renee, he thought and smiled. He'd been sitting in his luxurious car listening to Jethro Tull's Aqualung. He loved Jethro Tull. Having a smoke and a Coke, he imaged how his encounter with Renee would go. He expected no difficulty. She would be like the others. He could feel his pulse quickening as he left the car. 18
He walked briskly the half block required. He was about to ring for permission to enter the building, when a man in postal uniform came out.19
"Nice day, isn't it," said the postman as he held the door open.20
"Yes, it is," he replied as he stepped into the entrance hall. 'Damn it!' he thought. 'I didn't see him go in.'21
Still, if anyone questioned the postman, which didn’t seem likely in a suicide case, what could he tell them. A friendly dark haired guy in a suit passed me on the stairs. It would seem stranger if he refused the offer of the open door.. Besides didn’t Renee deserve the day off? He let out a soft whistle.22
He took the elevator to the fifth floor. Renee's apartment was on the right in the hall facing north, number 507. Just as he was about to knock, the door across the hall opened. Without thinking, he turned. A middle-aged woman wearing a faded print robe was picking up her newspaper. She smiled at him and said, "Good morning. Rene’s usually left for class by now.”23
"Oh," he said. "Then I should probably come back later."24
She smiled and stepped back inside.25
‘Shows how much you know old lady, he thought. ‘She won’t leave for ten minutes-- "Shit!" he said under his breath. The postman and now the woman. The nosey woman was too much. The postman might not remember him, but surely the woman would. 'Well, Renee. If you are to die today, I guess it will have to be without my help.' He turned and left the building the way he had come.26
In a list
A bit of editing would help along with opinions [Reward: double points]
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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oh come on even though you still show a scene with him you make sure to still not give out any sort of info
that's sooo not fair...I'm still going to try and find out though...
. Rewarded 4
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This guy is a real dork! I don't think he is all that intelligent, not in that sense anyway. This was a great read with plenty of time to ponder the killer and his character. He sounds to me like he is a little too cocky and will probably trip himself up sooner or later. The idea of having the old lady see him was a good throw in. I was kept captivated for quite a while reading this chapter. (three times), trying to fathom this guys details. Have now added a few more snippits of information on him down. Damn! I thought i would have him plucked by now but he is very ellusive. You guys! Okay. One error.
paragraph 10/line 1....change sweat to sweated.
I was probably too involved with looking deeper into this chapter to find any other errors. Silly me! Anyway, I'm looking forward to reading the next one.
. Rewarded 8
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Back for some more—that’s great news
You are certainly reading this fellow correctly—he’s book learning smart and clever but already he’s skating on thin ice. But then how many years has he been getting away with murdering women?
New York apparently wasn’t his first port of call.
We’re glad you are trying to figure out who he is—when you think you have him please let us know in a private message.
We are up to chapter twenty-five and no one has named him yet
Thanks so much for continuing to read and comment.
Geri
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Interesting chapter. Some insight into the killer's mind certainly helps the reader to understand his motivations and goals, especially in regards to why he kills. I have a tiny niggling pick that he wouldn't refer to his killing style as a 'modus operandi' Though common in crime genre novels, this term is one generally used by investigative bodies in regard to the killer, rather than the killer himself. Though your killer seems to be intelligent (the fingerprints and being cautious enough to know when to back down from a kill), the phrase doesn't seem to fit the character.
Overall, nice character exposition and development.
. Rewarded 8
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Wow Jodie, you are really on a role here
. Thanks so much for all the suggestions and comments. MO? You might be right about its use; but what if the killer was a lawyer or a cop 
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Not trying to throw you off mind yah
. Just like to cover all the bases when I play ball. I’ll discuss it with Andy before we start on the next draft.
Thanks again for reading.
Geri
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I was wondering when we'd see the killer again - actually that was my thought exactly after finishing chapter 10.
I like the idea of him stalking another victim, only to be twarted by a nosey old woman. I think it adds character to the story, and is very probable. Nicely done! 
Notes:
* Para 4: Check this semicolon, will you? (I pay way too much attention to them...*laughs*).
* Para 5: The phrase "slender perhaps tipping the scales at 110 pounds" is off somehow...maybe adding an and between "slender" and "perhaps" would help. Otherwise, you may have to restructure the whole sentence... Bothersome syntax.
* Para 5: Another pesky semicolon...
* Para 6: She drives somewhere to run? I think "In particularly weak and whiny..." should actually be "In particular, weak and whiny..."
* Para 10: Semicolon! Sorry, they really are a pet peeve of mine... *laughs*
* Para 12: You already mentioned smelling her sweat once. Also, this should be two sentences.
* Para 15: Isn't wearing black and blue together some kind of fashion faux pas? Not that I know anything about fashion, just saying...
* Para 26: You're missing a ' before "he thought.". Rewarded 8
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YES. Thank you Irish, you are certainly helping to make our editing job easier. The fact you are following the plot so easily makes developing the story a cinch.
So thrilled you are continuing to read SRM. We will be changing that name before we start sending out queries. Andy wants to hold off until we finish the first draft.
Geri
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Another good chapter, and I think only the 2nd to feature the murderer. It does appear as he was interviewed by the police recently, and I think you may be throwing us off the trail getting us to think it's the last victim's ex-boyfriend...but I don't think so...do I know? NO! ARGH!
As far as editing oopsies, it looks like you've left out the word "a" or "an" a couple times but nothing glaring.
I'm really interested to see where this goes...So he was seen by the postman AND the next door neighbor...good for Renee. But, of course, he will try again...surely. Should be quite an interesting chapter coming up....keep posting!
. Rewarded 8
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So you can’t pinpoint our killer –that’s mighty fine information.
Hi Phil, we figured our evil friend should come into the story again. No fun without him playing his games. Besides today it’s not considered a good plot if the reader isn’t introduced to what makes the killer click.
Later on there are some more chapters or scenes he stars in.
Renee owes a few people her continued existence—not sure how long that will be. We haven’t decided on her fate yet
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I had to finish reviewing two contests this week, and I maybe working out of one eye for a few days. They are fixing (I hope) the lens on the other one Wednesday, so if I don’t get to your chapter I’ll download it.
Geri
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I found this chapter quite interesting in that it focused totally on the killer. His thoughts and actions on the morning of an intended kill.
He is quite the predator, right down to knowing the scent of his prey. And very methodical in his stalking and study of his victims. I found his background before NY interesting as well.
Is this the same Renee who called Neil's talk show the other night? If so then the killer does seem to be linked to the crisis center, or at least listens to Neil's show. He has an obsession with ridding the world of 'weak' women. She was fortunate that her neighbor saw him before he got in and scared him off.
The only thing I noticed was in 8 - There where so many .. There were...
I enjoyed this chapter. Good details and descriptions throughout. We now know more of how he thinks and that there's a connection to the crisis center.
I like how the story is evolving as it goes. Let's see what happens next.
Greg
. Rewarded 8
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Can’t pinpoint our killer yet
Hi Greg, thanks so much for reading and commenting, We're glad you are finding the story interesting enough to continue following it.
Did you spot the tie up with the murder in the prologue? People kept asking if it was the same killer, so we figured it was about time to clear that up.
I had two contests to finish reviewing this week and Wednesday I’m in hospital for the day, so I may not get to read SAR’s offerings. If I don’t I’ll download yours.
Geri
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