The Beast

To find him, you have a lot to prepare for. The first step is the trip north. He lives where the sun will sleep, and wake, for months at a time. A place with exceeding 150 degree extremes. He is located in the wilderness of Alaska.1

The next step is to check your background. Make sure it's clean, and if it's not then clean it up quick. Once you find him, you have to make it through security. Not just run-of-the-mill security guards, 300+ lbs. with nightsticks. I'm telling you real security. Highly trained military-type security. If there's one reason to turn you away, even the slightest infraction, I assure you it will be done.2

Finally, once you have made it this far, you must find him in the sea of similarity. Everywhere you look, all the scenery is the same. The buildings, streets, shrubbery, even the people are dressed identically. But beware, there are dangers lurking in this labyrinth. If you happen to venture to the Restricted Areas, termination is not out of the realm of possibility.3

At last, after all of this is completed, you find the man. He will open the door to his small, untidy quarters and welcome you with a small wave. At this point, you must confront him and ask for the story. He may resist, but you must persist! Eventually, he will concede and will say, "Alright, I suppose that's why you made the trip, isn't it?. Well, grab yourself a chair and let's begin."4

"It all started around 2 years ago. The setting was a typical high school. It had the usual; jocks, preps, cheerleaders, goths, and all the other stereotypes you could think of. I was in my senior year, barely a year after my mother's death, when this girl came up to me. Now, this wasn't an issue because me and her, well we were good friends. The issue was that she had another girl with her.5

"Now, this girl was a shorty, 4' 11" and a head shorter than I am. The funny thing about her was that she was actually intimidating. With her black clothes, black make-up, black hair and overall gothic appearance, she was kinda scary, in a cute gothy kind of way. Then throw in the fact that she wanted to talk to me about my swords and you got yourself a pretty weird girl there. I fell in love on the spot.6

"It took her a chore and a half to finally get me over to her place. I was a shy one back then, still am a bit today really. It wasn't that her parents hated me, even though I think her mother wanted me dead, I just didn't want to get my hopes up for a girl I never thought I'd have a chance with.7

"Finally, after all her effort, she hooked me. And by hooked me, I mean hook, line, sinker. Within the month we were actually together, if you'll believe it. Everything seemed fine.8

"But suddenly, something funny began to happen. It didn't happen quickly, but slowly and surely things began to change. To this day, I still can't say what it was but I am sure something was different. Whatever it may have been, I reacted very readily.9

"In the beginning, we understood each other perfectly. If on the off-chance something was misunderstood, we'd work it out civilly and efficiently. Later on, I became secretive and withdrawn. And yet, at the same time I became clingy and possessive, wanting her to spend time with no one but me, while i was too busy locked away in solitude to spend time with her. It was the ultimate contradiction, denying her friends who would be with her for a boy who would not even respond to a simple 'hello'". The ultimate insult to one as socially dependent as her.10

"I want you to know that I never stopped loving her, not for a moment. In fact, as my solitude persisted and increased, my affection for her multiplied upon itself. And suddenly, before I had known what had happened, a year was gone and there we were, together but alone.11

"One day, she came to me, as I sat upon my throne of isolation, and ended it. With but a sentence, she had snapped me from my frozen wasteland of depression and selfishness and thrust me back into the harsh reality of a love neglected and a chance long gone to waste. As she walked away, I could feel each footfall slowly crushing the last breaths of air from the chest of my dreams.12

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13

"After a few months, we still talked. We weren't together anymore, but we were still on somewhat friendly terms. Well, that is to say, she tried to be friendly with me and I was a miserable cretin about the whole thing. However, even though I was little more than a savage beast on the outside, it did little to change the loving, caring servant I so wish to be that thrived within me. 14

"Finally, I got my wits together and made my decision. I'd have to say it was the biggest one of my life. On the one hand, I stay here and live with the one I love, always alienated and my truest love never realized as she suffered at my cruel hand. 15

"However, on the other hand, I have the solitude I have desired for so long. Finally, I could be thousands of miles away and at last be freed, and yet still tell her what she means with the glory that is the world-wide telephone network. The downside to this was that to do so, the military was the only option. I didn't have money, connections, or any meaningful experience, so it was my only chance. Considering the trials you had to go through to get here, like the trip up and the deal with the gate guards, I assume you can tell which choice I opted for.16

"And so, here we are. After spending my worthless life making the girl of my dreams miserable, I chose to remove myself from her world and live up here, miles away from any other form of civilization. I finally have the solitude and isolation I had always wanted. Sure, I've tried other girls, but after her...well, nothing compares. 17

"And that's pretty much my story. We still talk now and then, but aside from that I'm pretty much out of her life. And now, here I am, day in and day out, with only a shadow of what I once had. All of this because I just couldn't manage to love her like I wanted."