Dani's First Time Out

I am transgender.1

What does that mean?  According to today's society, it means that I am a freak of nature. Almost like one of those two headed animals we see in Ripley's. When you think about it, I am a two headed animal, or rather, a two minded animal. I have my male side and my strong female side. It reminds me of a cartoon I saw as a child where there was a circus, and the 1/2 man 1/2 woman character was wearing 1/2 a tuxedo and 1/2 a gown, and would turn when the man spoke and would turn the other way when the woman spoke. But I digress.2

What I really am, is mostly woman, but have a male body. Do I want to change my body? At this point, I don't know. I have been wearing women's clothes from as far back as I remember, but only in the privacy of my own home. But today I have decided to go out dressed as Dani, my femme self.3

But where to go? Do I go to a brightly lit mall, where I may run into people from work, or do I find a more obscure location, where I am not likely to run in to anybody I know? I know. I have heard of a couple of gay bars in the city. If I went there, I would be accepted, regardless of whether someone realizes that I am not a woman.4

Yes. That is what I will do. It is now 4:00, so I may as well start to get ready. First a bath, with a razor. I have to shave from my toes to my ears. I better bring some extra blades and lots of shaving cream. Maybe next time I go to the store, I should buy some Neet. Okay, the water is running, blades and razor at the ready, time to get in. Wow, I didn't realize that my legs were so long. Okay, shaving cream on one leg. Scrape, scrape, scrape and that one is done. Now the next one. That one is done. Better put in another blade. Now the chest and my nether regions. Lots of shaving cream and verrrry carefully, scrape those hairs off. Wow, what a feeling to have a nice bare chest, hey, and my legs don't look too bad. Another blade, and now to shave my face. Shaving cream and scrape. Second time, shaving cream and scrape. Third time, shaving cream and scrape. Now, my face is as smooth as a baby's bottom, or as smooth as my chest.5

Now that that is done, time to drain the bath. Should have used a sieve first to take out all the hairs. Oh, well, I hope the drain doesn't get too clogged. Now a shower to rinse myself off good and wash my hair. That done, it is time to get out of the bath. Not bad, it only took me an hour to do all that.6

Next, the hair. Do I wear a wig? My hair is long enough, maybe I will just change the part in it and with some mousse, I may be able to do something feminine with it. That might be better, for my first time in public, because I'm still trying to get the knack of wearing a wig properly. So, mousse, mousse, mousse, brush, brush, brush, and hey that's not bad at all. I like it.7

Okay, makeup. I have read many books and studied sites on the Internet (Ah, the Internet. A closeted TG's best friend), and Cosmo takes up a lot of place in my magazine stand, so I am sure that I can do a decent job. Foundation, blush, eyes and finally lips. Looks good to me. Now, what to wear. Since I shaved my legs anyways, it has to be a short skirt, but not too short. Something classy. Let me see, this black one that goes to the top of the knee. And with that, maybe a white blouse, to add some contrast. Okay, along with some thigh high black stockings, I'm ready to get dressed. First the bra, along with the breast forms, the silicon ones, not the foam ones for going out, and panties. Then the stockings, blouse and skirt. And finally, sling-back black pumps with 4 inch heels. Finish off with chandelier earrings in each of my pierced ears, and I'm done. A look in the mirror, and, wow, do I look good. I look like a girl that I would ask out. Hmmm, I wonder what Freud would think about that statement. 8

I am ready to go. Luckily, it is not cold out, so I don't need a jacket. Grab my purse and head out the door to the attached garage. Open the door with the remote control, start the car, drive out, close the door with the remote control, look down the street. No one is out, who can see me, so quickly and quietly, leave the street, before one of the neighbours sees me. Okay, I'm on the main drag, so I can relax now. It's kind of different driving with high heels, especially when I'm trying to be careful not to scuff them up, or heaven forbid, break a heel. I'm finally getting the hang of this. I thought I was comfortable with my femme clothes, but it sure is different when you leave the house.9

Now where was this place? Oh, there it is. Find a place to park and I'm ready to go in. I am nervous, scared and excited. My heart is beating fast and my stomach is starting to get that funny feeling. Don't tell me it is going to make me have to go to the bathroom. No, it passed. Whew. Okay, open the door like a lady and walk to the club. I have practised my walk, my bearing and my voice, so I think that I should be okay.10

At the door. A deep breath and here goes nothing. The greeter inside the door meets me and says:
"Good evening, madam, would you like a table or would you rather sit at the bar?"
Madam. He called me Madam. That made me smile.
"I think that I shall sit at the bar, thank you."
"Right this way, Madam."11

He led me to the bar, and I found myself a seat. I made it. Now what? I better order a drink, maybe a glass of white wine. I know that sounds cliche, but I like white wine, and I don't think pounding back a beer would be very lady like. Okay, wine in front of me, careful little sips, no gulps, and I should be fine. Slowly look around the room. There are a lot of guys here, but then this is a gay bar. No guys are approaching me, which I don't mind. I guess these guys want a guy, not a girl, real or otherwise. I guess I'll just finish my wine and leave. Uh oh, there is a girl looking at me. She is standing up and coming over. I hope she doesn't laugh at me. If she does, I am going to die right here. Oh, man, she is sitting next to me. She is very pretty. What do I do? I'll let her do the talking. She approached me, so it is only natural.12

"Hi, I'm Amber". What a pretty name.
"Hi, I'm Dani",
"I've never seen you here before,"
"I've never been here before" or anywhere else for that matter. "Do you come here often?"
"Once in a while. I have a guy friend who is closeted gay, and likes me to come in with him, so he doesn't look desperate. This way we can say we're together, and the guys leave him alone."
"So, you're not gay yourself?"
"Being with this crowd, the thought had crossed my mind, but no, I haven't experienced anything like that." 13

I wonder what she is after. Am I to be her first lesbian affair? What if she finds out that I'm not a genetic girl? Will she get mad at me? She is looking at me with those beautiful blue eyes. What do I tell her? Let's see what happens.14

"I was just driving by, and thought I would come in for a drink, before heading home." Good line.
"Do you live alone?" Oh, no. Is she going to hint at coming over? Not that I would mind, she is very pretty. I just couldn't live with her laughing at me, or worse, getting mad because she thinks I tricked her. Well, I'm not going to lie to her, although she probably thinks I already have.
"Yes I do. Just me and my golden retriever"
"Oh, I love dogs. I can't have one, because I live in an apartment. Can I come over to see him?" There it is. What do I say now? She is very pretty and she seems nice. And if she like dogs, this could be a woman after my own heart. But my heart is in a dress. Is that what she wants?15

"Sure you can. Anytime."
"Okay, great. Oh, it looks like my friend is looking for me. I have to go. Give me your phone number, and I'll call you." So I gave her my number. 16

"Thanks, I'll call you." And then she leans over and puts her mouth close to my ear, and she whispers, "I think you make a beautiful woman. And when I come over, you can introduce me to your male self, and the three of us can get to know each other better." Well, my jaw just dropped. I didn't know whether to be insulted that I couldn't pass or happy that I don't have to worry about how to tell her. I just stared at her with my mouth open.17

"Don't worry, honey. You pass very well. But when I saw a woman sitting alone in a gay bar and when you said it was your first time here, I figured you had to be transgendered on your first day out."
"You're not mad at me?"
"No. I think t-girls are the most sensitive and understanding men you can find. I would love to spend time with you and get to know you, and your male self. I have to go now, but I will call you. Then we can see what happens. Bye."18

So I finished my wine and left. I didn't have to drive home, I floated. Okay, I drove, but my mind was on cloud nine. Not only did I survive my first time out, but met a beautiful lady that likes t-girls. What a wonderful night. I will remember this for the rest of my life. Dani has survived and thrived. She will be here forever.