What do you want me to say?1
Why?2
I really don’t care any more. So what the hell.3
The day my wife left me she said what we were both thinking.4
"That's the whole problem," Elaine said. "You don't love me. You don't even care about our daughter. What's wrong with you? You're empty!" She was right. I didn't feel a thing. No sense of loss, no regret, no pain. I felt numb.5
She slammed the door shut and I heard the car pulling off the driveway. I never saw either of them again.6
Actually, I did feel something. Anger. Not strong, and not directed at them. What was wrong with me? My own inaction annoyed me, not a lot, but enough to niggle. Oh well, at least I had more time for writing and to test my theory.7
I walked slowly up to the office and switched on the computer. I turned on some music – The Righteous Brothers. It was time. Half interestedly, I surfed some porn sites, just to check that at least that part of me still functioned properly. Then I went to my story-writing folders. I scrolled through the categories: romance, thrillers, comedy. I selected Adult and opened up the one file in there. I scanned through the story and then wrote the final line:8
'Her yearning satisfied, his manhood spent, they embraced, kissed and drifted into a deep, contented sleep.'9
My pointer hovered over the "Submit Story" button. Before clicking, I pondered my situation.10
You've heard of method acting, well, I'm a method writer. I like to "get inside" my characters; wear their skin for a mile. Feel them from the inside. Be them. Writing is a cathartic exercise for me. I cleanse my soul. Achieve closure. After writing my heart out I wallow in the character's feelings and explore them fully. I review, revise, and refine my writing… and then I'm done. I never touch a work of fiction again. It's ready to show to the world. Well, at least the world of Storywrite.com.11
I first noticed the effect Storywrite.com had on me when I entered a competition called "Exorcism" – it was being run by The Greeters; "friendly" site members there to help out the writing masses. The competition was about "exorcising your emotional demons" and was categorized as "strong emotions". This was right up my street. I wrote a romantic tale of lost love and pain. It had the desired effect. As I hit the submit story button, I could sense the relief enveloping me.12
Within a few minutes all the grief and emotional pain of that episode in my life washed away and I felt much better.13
The trouble was, I never felt that pain of loss again. Ever. No matter how hard I tried. It took me months to realize that this was more than simple catharsis. By then I'd submitted more and more stories, experiencing the same relief after each submission until now I had few feelings left.14
So, that brings me to the test. This would either prove my theory or else convince me that I needed some kind of therapy. I clicked the Submit Story button.15
I sat back in detumescent relaxation. I didn't have much to lose; after all, I didn't need lust now that Elaine was gone. After a few minutes I returned to the porn sites. Nothing. No stirring of the loins. No interest. Nothing. Damn them! Storywrite was stealing my emotions. The Greeters were stealing my emotions. I hated those bastards. What were they doing to me?! It was all their fault. Why I felt so numb most of the time. Why Elaine had left and taken Emily. Why I'd lost my job at the ministry. It was all their fault. Now it was time for them to pay.16
I clicked on the folder marked Investigations. I opened up the Greeters database file. Those bastards. I hated them. My blood was boiling, my heart pounding. Every click of the mouse became a blow to the face of those monsters. Greeters! Hah. More like vampires – yeah, that's right, Emotion Vampires.17
Andy Stephenson – X18
CactusJack - bartender19
Cheerful-Panda - biographer20
Gerifitzsimmons - X21
IrishYndina – X22
Kylia Skydancer – Movie acting coach23
Sage Syren - unknown24
SnowRose-Wolf - unknown25
Tallblondie - Psychoanalyst26
Vernatia - Psychotherapist27
Whichcraft – Psychiatrist28
I'd managed to trace all but two of them so far. I had full addresses and details on three, their names had made it easier to trace them. I popped open my e-mail and, lo and behold, there they were, the last two.29
My years as a military intelligence agent hadn't been wasted. When I turned my hand to amateur sleuthing, I could access resources far beyond those normally available. That was, until I lost my job. I thought an objective detachment would have helped in photo-image interpretation. But you can have too much of a good thing. At first, I was able to keep my cool and remain level-headed when others could not. Eventually though, I just lost interest. Why bother. I didn't feel good about my job. I didn't feel anything about my job. I didn't feel much about anything at all. 30
Still, I had the wherewithall to call on my contacts and resources and they'd delivered. The final two pieces of the jigsaw were about to fall into place. I opened the attachment from the tracing agent.31
Sage Syren – Psychoanalyst and SnowRose-Wolf – Prison Governor. Hang on a minute – that didn't make any sense. All the positions gave the Greeters ready access to emotions, except that last one. I opened up SnowRose's file. She'd been governor for just a month. Before that, prison Psychologist – aha! Not only that, but within a week of being appointed governor, there'd been a prison riot. Ok, this job clearly gave her access to powerful emotions.32
I felt the anger building inside me as I took the first step in my plan. I’d been working on this for weeks, my mission was clear – the total eradication of Storywrite and The Greeters – to save other writers from the same fate as me. Opening the file marked "Action Plan" I double clicked the executable within it. Three of the Greeters had been very easy to trace, given their all-too-obvious names. I'd visited their homes and planted bombs in each. This internet-linked executable file would detonate them as soon as they switched on their computers, or straight away if they were unlucky enough to be logged on right now. As I assuaged my anger with the mental image of disintegrating Greeters. I felt like I should have laughed, but that emotion was already lost to my comedy story submission back in February.33
Proceeding to the next target in the action list, I saw that I needed to pay a visit to Whichcraft. She lived a short train ride away, so I pulled on my jacket and went to my "tool cupboard". I picked up a handgun and some ammo. As the anger pumped through my veins, I contemplated how best to placate its purpose. I returned the gun and bullets and instead rummaged through the knife case, finally settling on a neatly black-leather-sheathed serrated hunting knife and a Chinese meat cleaver. While I still had the opportunity, I was going to enjoy my anger.34
To get my juices flowing for the unpleasant task ahead I went to the kitchen and extracted the largest piece of meat I could find from the fridge. I tested the knife and cleaver on it, imagining the look on the Greeter's face. She was going to suffer.35
I must have got some blood on my shirt or something, because the ticket seller at the station eyed me suspiciously. I glared at him as roughly as I could until he backed away. All through the journey I basked in the feeling of rising rage. I fueled my fury with every imagined cut and stab, contemplating the pleasure of feeding the one emotion I had left to enjoy.36
When I arrived it was evening and Whichcraft should be at home. To make sure I called from my cell phone and heard a woman's voice answer. I hung up. As I entered the apartment building, my heart was pounding, while the sweat ran down my fingers as they fidgeted on the handles of the knives in my bag. I found her door. Feeling so fired up, I didn't even attempt to knock. I kicked the door as hard as I could, but was surprised to find it was open. The door flung backward and there she was.37
"I've been expecting you," the middle-aged woman gazed coldly at me over the muzzle of her revolver. Crap, I should never have rung first. "Sit over there." She gesticulated with her free hand toward the leather couch on one side of the room. Keeping the gun pointed at my chest the whole time, she calmly shut the door then switched on her computer on the far side of the room from the couch. She had a wireless microphone and set it up just a few metres in front of me on a coffee table, never coming close enough for me to try to cut her. She shoved the table, and microphone, toward me with her foot then sat down at the computer. I watched as she logged onto Storywrite.com. It looked like she went to my home page, but it was hard to tell from so far away. The screen switched to a blank white page and she told me to speak.38
"What do you want me to say?" I asked. As I spoke, small text appeared on the screen. When I stopped, it stopped too.39
"Tell your story, how you got here and why." Her tone remained flat, dull and empty. She's not even reacting when I describe her that way.40
She's just watching me – the ugly witch. Nope, still no reaction.41
Now she's telling me to get on with the story. Her hand is on the mouse.42
“Why?” I asked.43
“Because if you don’t I will kill you.”44
“I really don’t care any more. So what the hell.”45
Oh no. I see now. I've poured all my anger into this story. No, that's my last emotion. Wait. Don't click subm-46
***47
AUTHOR’S NOTES48
I felt absolutely nothing when all the other Greeters entered the room. There were Andy, Irish and Geri, all of whom should have been dead by now. I didn't feel even a flicker of surprise. Nothing at all. They all looked very pleased with themselves. As my anger-laden story loaded into their servers, it had an unnerving effect on all the Greeters. They grinned and gasped in ecstatic communion with the emotional energy they sucked up from Storywrite.com. So this was why they wanted emotional stories. They were feeding on authors' emotions.49
Searching for answers, I questioned the Greeters, "What is wrong with you people?" My voice was completely monotone. "What's wrong with me?"50
Sage Syren replied, "Wrong? What do you mean? There's nothing wrong. You're one of us now. You're a Greeter. Welcome to the team."51
I should have felt shocked, or angry, or something. Anything. Instead I felt empty. Hollow. All skin and no substance within, like a soldier from the terracotta army. An empty shell.52
"How did you...How did we become like this?"53
It was CactusJack's turn to speak, he was still grinning from the recent infusion of emotion, "The first Greeter landed on Earth over a hundred years ago. He came to investigate human emotionality and to see whether his race could learn from humankind. But his spacecraft crash landed in the desert and lost communications with his own kind. Lacking a means to travel home or communicate he assumed human form and proceeded to investigate human emotions on his own. He soon became addicted to emotions, but found the unfortunate side effect that his victims were left without those same emotions. Anyone with no emotionality left also became a Greeter."54
Andy spoke next, “You know, this is a blessing. You can be immortal if you learn to harvest emotions wisely. I was a bank manager in Arizona before I became a Greeter. I was there when the spaceship crashed… all those years ago.”55
"Anyway," interjected Kylia, "it is time. You must host a contest. If you do not feed soon, you will fade into oblivion.” The others nodded their assent.56
Vernatia spoke next, “I think we should tell him. After all, we wouldn’t want to kill him on his first contest now, would we?”57
TallBlondie replied, “Indeed.” She turned toward me and spoke slowly and deliberately, “You must never, ever, under any circumstances, accept a story with mixed up capitals and lower case letters. This would ruin our story parsing algorithm and shut down our whole set-up.”58
nO wRiTiNg LiKe tHiS – now I understood.59
“Ok. Now that we have got that out of the way,” continued Kylia, “What would you like to call your contest?"60
I thought for a moment before replying, "I think I'll call it Catharsis."
Author notes
The real Author's Notes...
I thought I was using all three contest options, but more options appeared after I wrote this. I don't think I can squeeze more inspiration around this story line, so I'll let it stand for now.
A contest entry
- Greeters are Taking over!! by SW Greeters.
4100 points, ended June 25, 2008, 10 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - ~Stories with a twist~ by Reaver.
800 points, ended June 19, 2008, 17 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Quick Quickies: Horror by tallblondie.
210 points, ended July 9, 2008, 18 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Bradbury, King, Poe, Matheson, Ellison, and Henry by saxmastadrew.
100 points, ended October 10, 2008, 11 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Twisted Tales by Tricia3.
350 points, ended March 16, 34 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Conspiracy Contest by callthexylophone.
260 points, ended March 26, 3 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Twisting Tales by Asfand.
400 points, ended November 18, 30 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 34 of 34
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Very Good!
I must say that this is a very good story. The twist in the end was also surprising. You have made it to the finalists. Good luck. And by the way, I am not gonna enter in any of the greeter's contest from now onwards
Anyways, thanks for entering and good luck in the contest.
Happy Writing.
Farhan.
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Okay: 1: there was a word limit, and you crossed it. 2: it was cool. but unfortunately i cant put you through because it passed the word limit
sorry
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An excellent story.
I love the beginning, the hook is a frustrating mix of emotions that works really well.
The writing is exceptionally well done. It's obvious you take time to go through and revise your work.
Your phrasing, sentence structure and overall narrative was engaging and intriguing. It kept me hooked.
The twist in the end works like a charm, I must say. The story transcends into a sci-fi alien conspiracy very well.
Over all, an excellent story.
One that I enjoyed a lot!
Thanks for entering.
Good luck!
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=D! it's great! conspiracy, storywrite, and good writing. A plus!
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you had me glued on to the screen all through....this was so creepy....clearly you deserve to win the gold trophy....BRAVO!!
xo.....
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Absolutely perfect
You had me when you mentioned the Righteous Brothers. I loved every word. Are you sure you didn't write this for my contest?
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You add another layer of suspense and mystery - I wrote the story first then somehow compelled you to create a contest to fit it
!
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lol
DoNt MaKe Me WrItE lIkE tHis!!!
Jk. anyways that was hilarious. At the beginning when it had the wife and kids and storywrite.com, I was all "It that real?"
Tsk tsk tsk. I was so foolish. It was funny how the greeters were evil. Sheds a new light on the greeter-hosted contest i entered... -
So clever!
I usually hate stories about storywrite, but this was very, very original and well-written. Saweeeet.
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1st paragraph - after dialogue, begin new paragraph with nest sentence, That's the only suggestion I can make. But I really enjoyed this story. Well written.
Bernice DeLucchi
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Thanks for the applause, but I really don't understand what your suggesting. Can you give an example of how you believe I need to restructure any of the dialogue?
Thanks
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Haha! I knew there was something funny with them greeters.
It was morbidly amusing, but I wouldn't call it horror. So I don't think it really fits in Quick Quickies: Horror.
Aaanyway, sorry I don't have anything useful to say, I been reading stories all morning for the horror comp, trying to find something that scares me, not much luck. And getting rather tired of reading now, so I speed read this, not so good for deep comments.
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I thought I'd read this before, and just from the first few lines I remembered it. Very beautifully written, I love your attention to detail when talking about the way the character feels so empty. This made me smile yet feel sad at the same time, it's a very unique idea and it was executed magnificently. I didn't spot a single error, but then I tend not to look for them when I'm reading something.
Enjoyed very much, both times I read it =)
And I understand the comment you left on my contest now! =D -
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Thanks for reading twice!
This gives me a contest idea... write a story which uses mixed caps writing with good reason!
Thanks for the support.
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That was intense!Great story!
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The story is not what I expected for the title, but it was still a good story. Very creative & great plot. You characterized very well.
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Would you tell me...what did you expect?
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I really enjoyed reading this! It was very well written. I found it very interesting andf unique to read. Congratz on your silver trophy! You definitely deserved it.
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Excellent!
This is funny as hell! Very well-written. I was hooked from the very first to last sentence. Unique and imiginative. I bet the greeters got a chuckle out of this also. It started sad like one of those country songs and ended up like David Letterman. And oh, don't change the title, let them look it up in the dictionary.
Bravo! Keep on writing!
Sincerely,
IGW
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Well done~!
Very creative and well written. Enjoyed the heavy emotional environment and the way you detailed action. Flowed beautifully-and the explanation at the end was comedy at its best. Very well done! Thanks for the entry~ I enjoyed it~! -
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Thanks
Thanks for the comment and for my beautiful, shiny silver medal!
Great contest.
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That was an awesome write. I agree with Tiger-Lily though, the title may have thrown people off. The fake author notes were one of my favorite parts of the story. Plus you had a serious tone through most of it, but were able to lighten it up a bit towards the end. And it was a very creative write, with a good plot and characters. Keep writing!
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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I find a couple of light-humoured touches always provide a nice counterpoint to a horror or suspense story. This is the first time I've tried it in my own writing though.
Thanks for the comment and applause.
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I think...this is my idea for why not many commented. The title. It may have thrown many off. Even though after reading, we know what it means, at first, it's just a big word. O.O Puts some people off.
Now for the intro.
At first, the reader may be thrown by the tow first lines. Although they make beautiful sense.
I really liked this! It's a brilliant and clever story, very well-thought out. Great plot. And definitely UNIQUE!
I love the fake author notes you have here. It just goes along with everything else so well. Wish you good luck in the contest.
-HT
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Oh right, I guess I forget that my vocabulary may be bigger than others' even on a storywriting site. That said, I wonder why people would click into a story with a title they didn't understand.
I always expect some feature clickers not to comment, but I paid for seven and not one did. The Shameless Promotion seems to have been a lot more effective for this story luckily.
While the fake author notes may seem like a stroke of genius, when I put in the voice-to-text translator I realized I couldn't justify it after the revelation, so I decided the only way to squeeze in the rest of the story was in Author Notes. I considered using the real ones, but thought I had too much to write in there, and some competitions require entries in the actual Author Notes.
I wonder whether changing the title to "Closure" would achieve a better rate of commentary...
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This is really good. It's kind of a frightening idea about the Greeters though.... Note to self: no entering contests.
Great job on this story and good luck in the contest! -
this was really funny. I loved the fake author notes the best. It threw me off at first, it's written in such a serious tone and it deals with such a serious issue, but it all lightens up in the end. good write
also, I understand your frustration with the lack of comments, I've been trying to get people to read my story "firefly" for a while and I feel like I'm just wasting points. oh well.
great write!
-gibson -
Haha, that really made me laugh, there really isn't anything bad to critique about this, either, so all i can say is Great work and good luck in the contest ^-^
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Wait a minute, you're not supposed to reveal our REAL secret! *laughs*
I enjoyed this quite thoroughly. It's obvious that you put the time and effort into putting it together and making it a joy to read. My favorite pare was definitely the "nO wRiTiNg LiKe tHiS"! *laughs* I knew there was a reason every contest on SW says that... Great job on this whole thing and thanks for taking the time to put together a quality entry
Now, what exactly does "X" mean and why don't I get a cool profession?
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I really liked this - especially as you fit the first three options in fairly seamlessly. Well written and engaging.
Emotion vampires? Yes, ve vant it all...
Thanks for your entry!
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Very Clever!
Are you applying to become a greeter?
I am almost as surprised to find I was in Arizona as I was when I was made a bank manager. I can't do ten key. I would do poorly as a bank manager, I fear.
So we greeters anticipated your attempts to kill us. Smart, aren't we?
This was a very interesting approach. It would have been a major job of reconstruction to have rewritten your story to include all the new options. I don't think I am going to add an option, there are already plenty. I'll just be an alien infected bank manager from Arizona
Thanks for entering 'Greeters are Taking over!!' I enjoyed your story.
Andy
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Great Job!
Hey fellow Greeters--or not
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We have the makings of a novel here
.
But watch it there, with them bombs--yikes. You get me, you get a house full of
s 
s 
s oh yeah...and KIDS!
You put a lot effort into this and made it a fun read. Thanks for entering the contest.
Geri
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Wow! It gave me chills excellent story good luck in the contest
.
Miranda
Greeter
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Brillant!!! I just loved this. Got goosebumps just reading it. Thanks for entering and good luck in the contest.
Brooke
greeter
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