The Enemie's Blade (prologe and chapter 1) Has not been updated.

"How did all of it begin? Well I don't even know. Let’s see, it all had to have started in the year 3017. The United States had been one of the countries had not been hit as hard as countries such as Australia, Indoniesia, or France. I don't think that anyone really knew what was happening. One moment we are going about our daily lives, then the next second the sky quite literally fell down upon us, or planetary defenses were breached, and the enemy broke through our planetary shielding. I was just 5 years old when they attacked, I remember seeing enemy fighters streaming through the giant hole that the mother ship created. Our ground and air forces were destroyed in a matter of seconds. We had never planned for an actual battle on earth's soil. The world's leaders finally agreed to make a complete peace with each other. It just so happened that one of the enemy’s pin-point bombs landed in the little clearing of houses where my family lived. I was almost at the park in town when the bomb hit the clearing. These bombs were designed to only destroy one target, so everyone else who lived in town and I were safe. I ran to the clearing when I first saw the explosion, as did most of the town's folk. By the time we were able to run to the clearing nothing was left except a hungry fire staring at me, burrowing into my soul, torturing me, taunting me with the death of my parents."1

The biographer sat up straighter as he slightly leaned toward John, "Mr. Price, could you possible shed any light on your childhood past your parent’s death? Or do you wish that I come back tomorrow?" The biographer looked at John with those same hungry, greedy eyes that he saw in the fire. The biographer's eyes reminded John of a starving lion looking at a piece of perfect sirloin steak, was that all John was to this man a piece of steak? John did not like the idea of being put into the same category as a piece of steak, especially to a man that he hardly even knew. Though, John had to admit that telling this man, telling anyone, what he went through did feel good, so he decided to let this man chew on what he could dish out.2

John finally looked up from his hands and said, "I will tell you all that happened, that is if you can handle it."3

Chapter 14

Year 30295

Eleven Years after incident6

John's Apartment7

Boulder, Colorado8

The only reason that humans and Earth survived is because a race of aliens who were a "big brother" species sent an attack force that easily out gunned the invasion fleet. Thus forcing the other alien's invasion fleet back and out of the Milky way Galaxy. The protectorate aliens explained that they are a race named the Ketared. The Ketared were a species that mimicked human appearance. Though the alien's bone structure was made much like a human’s but with a layer of bone just below the skin to act as a type of natural body armor.9

Kevin looked up from his text book, Kevin always found alien anatomy fascinating, while most just found it discussing. Humans had never really looked at any other species with decency. Over the past 5 years Kevin has taken a liking to the Ketared, he liked how the Ketared had never looked down on humans, even though humans were less evolved than the Ketared.
“Still studying?” John remarked with a slight smile.10

Kevin emerged from behind the textbook, interested to find who had interrupted his studies, “Oh hey John.” Kevin gently closed the book and smoothed his hands up the book’s cover. “It’s amazing. You know their anatomy. Their skin also contains titanium atoms, so they are capable of being super strong. Maybe if we could insert titanium into…”
John laughed. “Give it a rest bud. They’re big they’re tough, they’re… aliens. End of discussion.”11

Kevin sighed. John didn’t share his view on alien anatomy or even politics. Kevin could talk about Ketared politics for hours.12

“I mean, dude, you’ve never even seen one.”13

“John, I’m 16. I still have plenty of time to meet one. I’m not expected to die until I’m 172. A lot can happen in 156 years." Kevin glanced out the window and into the dark sky. What he would give to travel through space and leave this stupid dormitory behind. That was one of the things that Kevin and John had in common, and it was the thing that made them friends. “Who knows?”14

John snorted. “Yeah, maybe you can start a new race by getting an alien girlfriend!” They may have wanted to travel space, but for different reasons; Kevin wanted to study, but John wanted revenge.15

Lost in thought about revenge and new possibilities of enhancing mankind’s society and their anatomy, John and Kevin never even noticed the door had started to slowly open until it was too late. The door flew open making a loud banging noise that was just loud enough to bring John and Kevin back to their surroundings. John and Kevin now noticed that the door was open and a spherical object was headed for their heads. “Crap! Hit the deck!” Kevin shouted, though he was too late, the spherical ball hit both John and Kevin on their foreheads.16

“Damn! I hate that mail boy!” John screamed, as he stormed out to once again trash the tiny machine that the mail boy used to rocket the ball into the room. The mailboy’s name was Colton, as Colton emerged from the confines of the hallway he handed the mail to Kevin. Kevin thanked hime for the mail and gave him a tip so that Colton could rebuild his little toy. As John came in the mail boy left to continue his mail route. "Damn that kid! what makes him think that I have enogh time in my life to trash his little "toy" every day!" John screamed as he stomped over to his desk to read is mail. While looking at his mail John looked up and said "Hey! Kevin there is a party at the DarkHorse tomorrow at 3:00 pm, lets go you havent seen the other guys for a year now.17

"Fine, I guess I will," Kevin said. while he opened a letter from the University on the Ketared home world, "Hey! John get this, the university on the Ketared Home world said that one and only one ship will take a group of selected humans to their home world to study at their universities! John this is my chance to better study their society and them! Wait, hey it says that I can bring one friend to study any of the following subjects: law, psychology, business, transport piloting, and military. Apparently if you study the military you can join their military. Though who would want to do that!" Kevin said in a disgusted voice. 18

John looked up from his stack of mail, his face was beaming as he said, "Wait a second! You did say that you could bring one friend, right?"
Yeah, Why?" Kevin teased. "I mean its not like I know anyone who would want to go..."19

"I could go and study their military and learn to pilot their spaceships! I could finally buy a spaceship and get revenge on those idiots who almost destroyed Earth!" John yelled while almost literally bouncing off of the walls. "So when do we leave?"20

"Let's see.... Ah, here it is! The shuttle will leave the day after tomorrow at precisely 5:00 p.m."

Author notes

I have more written down on paper. So, if you want to read more and I will try to type it up this weekend.

A contest entry

Tell me ANYTHING that needs to be fixed. Especially grammar, commas, anything like that is exceedingly helpful and would make me happy if you guys could help fix it.

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have 0. (?) (Line numbers)
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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Tricia3 gold member
    May 13
    Edit | Reply
    #1 had been one of the countried [that] had not been hit
    #9 just below the [sin] ?
    #14 "Who knows?"
    #16 loud banging [noise]?
    #17 The [mailbox's] name
    do you mean mailboy's name?
    #17 enogh should be enough
    to read [his] mail
    This is a very interesting idea. It is well written with just a few small errors.
    I will check for more later.
    Tris




  • graybeard silver member
    May 9

    Edit | Reply
    I see that most of the errors have been pointed out. You've got a pretty good little story going here. Type out the rest, I for one will read more. See how John make out getting even with the bad guys.

  • Kismet Krazy
    April 29

    Edit | Reply
    awesome job. your characters were very beleivebale and your dialouge was really good. I liked the whole story. It was a good read. keep it up.

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.

  • You have a talent for Science Fiction. A lot of action and dialogue makes it a fun read.

    I didn't have time to edit; but will revisit later if you continue with the novel.

  • Hum, an interesting idea but it needs a bit of editing. The beginning where he explains the breif attack on earth was rather awkward to read. I don't know why you put that here was one cuss word in the story, I don't see how its relavent. A lot of stories have swearwords. You have some interesting characters here as well. Thank you for entering my contest and best of luck.


  • Reaver Greeters member
    June 10, 2008

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    Definately a good story. Strong voice and word selection. Your sentence structure is slightly flawed by the length of the paragraphs, but your conventions are strong and detail is well done! Enjoyed this! Bravo!


  • checkmate-
    May 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, I really like this - it's a really good idea. I read the comment below and only found one more thing:

    John finaly looked up from his hands and said, "I will tell you all that happened, that is if you can hadle it."

    "Finaly" should be "Finally" and "hadle" should be handle. But of course, this is unfinished, so who really cares about spelling

    Good luck and keep writing!

  • Rosita
    May 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Third line, you wrote 'teh', instead of 'the',
    7th line, 'don' instead of 'down', same line, or instead of our, 12th line, you wrote planed instead of planned, line 15, thath for that, same line, teh instead of the, line 19, teh for the again, line 20, teh for the, xas for as

    2nd paragraph: line 5: syes for eyes, he is repeated, line 6: wrong peace (try piece), whole sentence is a run on (put a period after steak)line 7: teh for the again, line 8: mann for man, line 10: went doesn't have an h in it.

    3rd paragraph: handle has an n in it.

    that's all i got, mickey, but keep up the good work!!!!

1 - 8 of 8