Daddy,1
Do you remember the way you used to hit mommy and make her scream out in pain? Do you remember drinking all those beers? Do you remember never having any money? Do you remember what it means to be a daddy? 2
I remember you hitting mommy. She used to scream for you to please stop but you never did. You just hit her harder and made her cry out louder. You used to lock Tif and I in our room so we couldn’t come out and help. Oh how I hated you and I swore if again I ever saw you lay one sour finger upon my mother’s delicate flesh, I would kill you. Sadly, I never had the opportunity, for in my room I found myself in your little prison. All I could do was listen to my mother’s unheard, unanswered cries, the shattering of priceless glass and the sound of bodies being slammed about into walls. My heart used to beat so fast I thought it would burst out of my chest and give you guys something to fight about in the morning, but I was the oldest sister and I had to be brave. When I’d wake up in the morning, the door would be unlocked. I would walk out expecting to see the images of my nightmare before me. My nightmares consisted of body parts lying in certain areas of the house. I remember expecting to see my mother’s arm in the kitchen faucet and her head on the couch. There would be blood everywhere and angel dust littering the floor. But when I would crawl out of bed, I would go crawl in bed with my sleeping mommy. Sometimes, I would go into the living room first. 3
There, brown, empty bottles would always surround you. Next to the bottles would be empty bags that once contained some white power. Yes, I remember never having any money because I remember never having any food to eat. All the money in the house, even the spare change we found under the couch cushions, went towards your stupid habits. No, I don’t think you ever knew what it meant to be a father. So, how could you possibly remember what it was like? You left me with so many scars. Never will you find any physical markings but mentally, the wounds run deep and wild. 4
You complained about paying child support for two girls you never get to see. Want to know what else I remember? I remember going to your house every other weekend. Now, a three-hour drive is quite a trip for a young, anxious child. We’d set a time and place to meet up at… but you never showed up. Come to find out, you’d forgotten us. Daddy, you forgot us on Thanksgiving weekend. Never again did I want to see the reflection that was much like mine. 5
You taught me how to play softball but never will I be like you. Never will I beat my wife and force my helpless children to watch. Never will I spend my family’s hard earned money on pointless shit. You didn’t even know your oldest daughter was graduating and has a full ride to college until mommy told you. Then, for the first time in 18 years, you claimed me as your daughter. You got so excited when you thought I’d gotten a scholarship for softball. Sad, you don’t even know your very own flesh and blood. 6
Softball has become nothing more than a fun hobby. My true passion has been JROTC and the Army. Imagine your surprise when you discovered that I want to be a History teacher as well as a psychologist. I won’t bail on my dreams the way you lost yours. Rather, I’m going to prove to you that I can make it on my own. I don’t need your guidance. I don’t need your support. I never did. 7
Do you remember saying that Aunt Anna got everything she deserved because she put herself out there a transgender? I do. I bet it almost killed you when I finally told you that I’m a lesbian and proud as hell to be one, too bad! I despise you with every bone in my body. 8
The point of this letter: I made it without you. I was never your darling baby girl and you are nothing more to me than my sperm donor. So, fuck off prick and go ruin somebody else’s life because you are done haunting mine!9
Love your daughter,
Samantha Jo10
Author notes
I wrote this as a way to get away from my inner demons. My father has been a terror to me for quite some time and I had seen people doing something similiar to this so I decided to give it a try. Not so much as a story just, something I had to do.
A contest entry
- My first Storywrite contest :] by The Vertigo Effect.
400 points, ended June 11, 2008, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Letters by potaytee.
100 points, ended June 25, 2008, 21 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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This is such a good way to relieve stress and bad memories.
I have done this a few time to other family members and even considered sending it to them, but never do. i hope things turn out better for you. Really. This is a tragic thing to go through.
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This is such a good idea.
I've done it a few times and even considdered sending it to my father.
But never have
Hope this helped alot with your inner demons
Thank you for entering!beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 4, dialog: 4, characters: 4.
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I was meaning to read from you earlier in the week but I got so busy >.< I can't believe the end of high school has been such a busy fucking pain in my ass. but I'm here now!
I just have on critical thing to say, I think you should have split this off into paragraphs. it doesn't really flow as one big piece.
I like how the piece started out with a child like voice and language. and then over time, it molded into something more mature and adult sounding. it was like watching someone grow up in one letter. I thought that was pretty amazing how you did that. it was like watching a life go by so quickly.
and I like how this ended on a positive note. it started out dark and haunted and then moved into something empowering. fucking beautiful babe.
you are a gorgeous girl, don't ever forget!
xoxo
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I'm glad you decided to take out your pain this way. It's much more constructive. While I only remember one instance of my dad hitting my mom, they have had many more verbal arguments that scared the hell out of me. Despite your past, you've grown up to be quite the mature and able young lady. I am sure you are going to make a difference in the world very soon.
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WOah this is exactly how i feel towards my mom. This good that you let out your own feelings and inner spirts. Hope that this helped you out alot. But good luck with your family like i mean to say like your dad mom sis aunt stuff i dont mean it in a bad way at all.
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I have the uttermost respect you babygurl.... I am very glad you wrote this.
God knows those bloody demons that can either make or break you apart.. I know what it is like to have a father who drinks, gambles... away nealy every cent, and then mine turns around and claims it was not his fault... whisperes suicide, makes me feel guilty... Hell I can't even tell my father who I am because he deosnt even know who I am in the first place, or care, or listen... and while he never beat me, or my mother as I know. It did not make it any less easier trying to acheive my dreams, or him even bothering to notice just how hard I tried to make him proud...
It is emotions like this that can provoke, but inspire us all. For all that has ever happened to you, and your family, I am truley sorry, and I say this from knowing whats its like, but also coming from the heart with my support and friendship...
You hold your head high, you chase those dreams, make them become your reality- dont ever let a selfish man like that ever destroy you from them... But somehow Inside I know you won't anyway - My love you are destines for greater things...
Love Blair
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This is very sad for me. But a strong, impactful letter that holds so much emotion and pain within. I'm sorry for your pain and only wish for your happiness. The world is filled with people and things...stay strong and keep writing. .......
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