'Shooting up' In Public

I had been drinking a lot, not alcohol, just drinking. It wasn't an abnormal thing, until it got rather excessive. I had to take water to bed with me, two bottles during a school day, and I found myself refilling, drinking, refilling. It worried me, but I didn't mention it. It's normal, right?1

Wrong.2

Saturday came, and this had been going on for a week or more. It was particularly excessive this day. The morning came, and, as usual, I woke up parched. Dry throat, dry lips, and, of course, only empty water bottles littering my bedroom area. I dashed to the bathroom with an empty bottle and quickly refilled it, taking large gulps at a time. Wasn't satisfied, but I couldn't just stand in the bathroom drinking. So, I did something I had yet to do, and to this day find odd, I took a bottle in the shower. That's where it started.3

I stood in the shower, singing, washing, the normal shower routine, but even in the running water, I found myself still thirsting. I took casual sips of the water bottle, as if it was nothing weird to need one in the shower. I knew it was, though.4

This part gets a little blurry, not only to remember, but it was actually quite blurry for me. I remember feeling dizzy, and I couldn't see straight. I had finished washing and singing and becoming clean, I remember. However, the next thing that I remember clearly is waking up.5

My face was cold, and I didn't know why. It was dark, and I was still dizzy. When I fully opened my eyes I found myself staring at the bottom of the sink, the white tiled floor pressed hard against my cheek. I was wearing a towel, and the water was shut off, but I couldn't recall doing either of those things. I laid on the floor for quite some time, the fact that I was laying on the bathroom floor not sinking in with me for another few moments.6

"What was that?!" A voice called from outside the bathroom door, and, not waiting for an answer, my mother walked in.7

I remember getting up slowly at that point, I had a lot of difficulty standing at first, I couldn't get my balance, and everything was still spinning.8

"What happened?"9

"I don't really know, I guess I just fell..or tripped... or something.."10

"Go get dressed."11

I did just that, throwing on jeans and a sweatshirt and walking into my parents' room. Both my parents were there, concerned, obviously. I was relaxed, though. I could see clearly, and I felt fine. I brought my water bottle with me and plopped down on the bed.12

"We're going to go see Dr. Slep," my mom said.13

I protested profusely. I loathe the doctor. "Nothing happened, mom!"14

"You fainted," she stated.15

"So?"16

"That doesn't happen on a regular basis."17

I could see this wasn't going to go my way, so I conceded. Nothing was revealed to ME at the doctor's office, but dear old Dr. Slepowitz offered me countless treats he'd never offered to me before. Ginger-ale, juice, lollipop, crackers? Was I dying or something?18

"..yeah, he said to take her to the ER," my mother said into her cell, "Yeah, he wrote a note for them, she'll be admitted, meet us there?"19

She drove to the ER with no explanations until we got there. Even then, being 11, I didn't quite understand. Diabetic? What's that?20

At the ER, I was immediately (Within two hours) shown to a bed. I was nervous, I had never been in the hospital before, and this little curtain wasn't very private. The nurses looked at me normally, maybe I wasn't dying?21

Before I knew it, I had two IV's, a number of doctors and nurses around me, and I was asleep in a hospital gown. I was rather terrified, but for some reason to exhausted to care. I hadn't been that tired when I got there, what had happened? A nurse came soon after I woke up.22

"We're going to go for a little ride, okay Sarah?"23

"Sure..."24

She unhooked my IV, and asked me to hold the bag while she fiddled with the brakes on the rolling bed from the small ER. She began to push my bed along slowly through the long hallways of LIJ hospital. I was still half sleeping, and she didn't seem to mind. She barely spoke to me, but I could hear her saying comforting things to my mother, and always just adjusting my hold on the IV bag.25

"Here we are," she stopped the bed, "the Blue Room."26

It was indeed very blue, I remember that much. My memories of this part are also kind of faded, I was asleep for most of it.27

I stayed in the blue room, which I later learned was a pediatric ICU, for about three days. I was hooked up to several IV's and couldn't keep my eyes open for more than an hour. The room was filled with babies, and small children who were obviously sick or recovering. It was a generally noisy room, with parents, children, nurses, doctors and tv's all competing to be heard.28

Every day a nurse would come and talk to me. Explaining a little about why I was here, what was going on, and she would give me a quick shot in the arm. Every time she'd give me that shot, twice a day, she'd offer to let me do it myself. I was too afraid for those three days. I was terrified. Sticking a needle into myself? How can anyone do that?29

I'll tell you now, it's not hard.30

Leaving the blue room concluded the difficult parts of this story. I was moved to a regular room where I remained for the duration of my February break. I learned to draw the needles, I read countless books on this thing called Type One Diabetes, and I learned that my pancreas didn't function. None of this had any meaning to me at the time, but I knew how to draw a needle, mix insulins, and take my own sugar. It was all I really cared about. And then, I got to go home.31

I was no longer thirsty. I was no longer dizzy. I wasn't always tired. I did, however, enjoy 'shooting up' in public.32

Still do. It worries people.33

That was 4 years ago, and I still hear those questions, even from my friends: "Can't you not have sugar?" "Did you test your blood?" "Does that hurt?" "How often do you have to do that?" "Do you get sick of people asking you that?"34

Well, I can have sugar, I did test my blood, it doesn't hurt, I do it a lot, and I do get sick of people asking me questions. There's your answers, and don't you dare hold back your candy from me!