Empty streets,
and abandoned houses.
Wandering souls,
who try to find peace.1
Dark skies,
which offer no pity.
Walk forever,
beneath their gloom.2
Closed doors,
and metal fences.
There are no places,
for you and I. 3
Pushed away,
into the night.
Into the shadows,
where memories lie.4
Swallowed up,
by lies and pain.
Broken forever,
never look back.5
Never stop running,
never stop thinking.
Head on out,
into the unknown.6
Days and nights,
of endless wandering.
Cold and wind,
and forgotten light.7
Hopes are breaking,
hearts are fading.
Strength is waning,
fight the night.8
A contest entry
- Poetry!!!! by Shadowed Phoenix.
900 points, ended June 5, 64 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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this is really deep.
i love this.
how long did it take you to write?
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Your language was quite simple, but I felt that it conveyed your emotions, story, and message really well.
I really liked how you had the short, kind of choppy almost, stanzas- but even though there were just a couple of words per line, the flow was fantastic.
Overall, it was a sort of dark and lonely poem. Great job- and good luck in that contest!
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It flowed quite nicely. The words were simple and seemed to fit the poem perfectly. My only sugestion is the use of commas and periods to break up the peice more and make it look more complete. Overall a good poem. Thank you for entering my contest and good luck.
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I actually really liked this!
It was great!
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