Breaking Free - Prologue

Prologue1

Willow peered out the window at the illuminated city below her. The speed of the never resting metropolis mirrored the beat of her racing heart. Turning and walking from the window, Willow sighed and collapsed on the tattered sofa.2

(You’ll never escape me Willow….)
The deep dark voice rang in her head, which only increased her almost crippling heart rate further.3

“Calm down Willow” she told herself aloud “you’re safe here”
Only, she wasn’t safe, not really. If anyone could find her, he could… and he would if she wasn’t careful.4

Willow closed her eyes and fought back the memories that had plagued her for years, as sleep slowly engulfed her she found herself back there, with him... in her own private hell.5

(“Willow, get me a beer” her father demanded, his voice booming.
Willow did as she was told, and as she handed the cool glass bottle to her father he grabbed her roughly by the wrist, pulling her in close until her face was only millimeters from his, as he spoke his spit angrily landed upon her soft pale skin.
“Don’t ever turn into a slut like her… or you’ll pay like she did, and you’ll never escape me Willow” his Hazel eyes stared into her like hot red stakes etching an imprint into her mind. ) 6

Willows eyes shot open and she gasped for air, the dreams were becoming increasing vivid. It was beginning to make it almost impossible to sleep. A lonely tear slowly fell down Willows cheeks, realizing it was there she angrily wiped it away. She didn’t cry, she wouldn’t cry… he couldn’t have this hold on her anymore. 7

Something was going to have to change and fast. 8

 9

Author notes

the words in brackets ( blah ) etc, are because Italics decided to not work for me. but it is meant to portray something that is either a memory or a dream

this is a prologue for a story i haven't written yet, wreckon i should continue?

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Comments


  • Nocturne Moderators member
    August 8, 2008

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    Oh ouch. Vivid scene and a painful situation. I think you should continue it; you have a realistic and troubled character, frightened and haunted, and a looming shadow of the past. It's interesting. I did notice a couple grammar and style iffies, but overall, it was a good and solid read.

    Cheers for sharing this and good luck with it!
    Nocturne


  • Reaver Greeters member
    May 18, 2008

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    Yes, you should definately continue! This is definately something that would be well worth the time. Watch your punctuation. You are missing alot of comma and periods..etc. Well written and expressed. Good emotional environment. Well Done!

    • eelyah21
      May 18, 2008

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      thanks so much! yeah i am bad with punctuation, i always have been. thank you though i will go through and re check it :-)

  • eelyah21
    May 18, 2008
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    ok

    by the way this is my first attempt at writing in third person, so if i am doing something wrong let me know :-)