The full moon; a pure-white, round orb full of craters that were juxtaposed in such a manner that they seemed to form a strange, and disfigured face, was lying behind a plethora of clouds and pure-white mist, giving its light to those who fed off of the mystic substance. Those, who were finest when lying in pools of flesh and blood, were now coming out of their deep crevices; they were starting to lurk in the omnipresent shadows of the night, waiting…waiting to grab their first victim, anyone who would be unfortunate enough to pass the creatures’ paths. The creature would pounce on their prey, which would let out a blood-curdling scream into the night, which would be ironic, since, the man would be swallowed by night itself. As the man would yell into the night pleading for help that would never come, he would be slowly torn apart-chunk by chunk, while his soul and life was still intact. At one moment the man, his attention driven away by his countless injuries and the hope that he might reach the hospital, will thoughtless enough to gaze into the creatures eyes, into the very windows of Hell. Now, not only will he suffer painful injury, but every single excruciating memory that the man will have indecently suffered in his lifetime will be relived; and finally the creature will absorb the man’s spirit and soul causing him to suffer for all eternity, at least until the creature is destroyed and the casket that bears the Mortals’ souls will be released. People who will begin to suffer this unbearable agony will be thinking along the lines of: “This was not one of my good days”, “I knew I should have stayed at home”, or “This has to be a dream. Please let this be a bad dream.” 1
Among all the creatures that shatter the solitude and silence of the night, the creature with the most satire intertwined in its bone-chilling tales is none other than the Werewolf. Evolution is one of the most revolutionary things in our mundane lives, since it is one of the miracles of God that we can actually have the pride to bear witness to. The true tale of the Werewolf goes back to the seedlings of evolution when Mankind was just a mere ape; when we
were a tiny bit more stupid than we are now. As disgusting as this might sound, one of the apes must have mated with a prehistoric and more magical version of the wolf as we know today; and thus the Werewolf was born unto this world. This being was quite intelligent, had the ability to stand on its hind legs, and had a gift to speak in all tongues. This new species was, at first, at
piece with our own, until we committed an unspeakable sin that would harm all our generations to come. 2
Because of certain disagreements, some idiot apes decided they would gang up on the Werewolves’ leader when it was the most vulnerable. Werewolves are vaguely human all the time besides the full moon, but in the new moon they are in their weakest form. Unfortunately, for all of us, that is when the group of apes decided to attack their leader. Oh, he fought all right. He killed half of them with ease, but he was overpowered. The apes felt a little pity towards the creature, so they decided to grant him two boons to ease his suffering. The Werewolf told them, “First I want to become immortal, and secondly, I would like to go to the place where we have all desired to travel to one day. Please, I beg of you, send me to the moon.” The apes invoked their Gods, and after a few minutes of worship, abruptly, a strange, pure-white orb that resembled the moon covered the creature’s body and took him to his place of desire. Soon the creature, who would now never became a man again, would be known to us as none other than the Man on the Moon. Ironically, the beast who is above us is not a man, at all; it is a creature much more powerful. 3
The Werewolves found out, but they were helpless when hundreds of ape-hordes came barging into their territory. A few of them were killed when seven pieces of silver were stuck into various parts of their body. However, their demonic powers at its weakest point, the
Werewolves decided to seek salvation in the very crevices of this Earth. Nearly three months passed when neither hide nor tail of the Werewolf could be spotted; and life for the apes went on as peacefully as it had ever gone. However, what our ancestors did not know was that the Werewolves had gotten stronger; they had been biding their time, planning the apes’ demise. The Werewolves had been breeding; they had grown from tens to hundreds to thousands or hundreds of thousands, and now five hundred thousand, three hundred thirteen Werewolves walked on this Earth. 4
The full moon was out that day; it was like an enormous crystal ball that was hugging the ground. The misty orb and been pulsating a deep red. The apes were peacefully staring at the blood-red circle floating in the dark blue sky, which was usually littered with stars. It was then, when the first howl broke the reticent night. The apes, stupidly gaping, turned their heads to view the source of the noise, but there was no sight of the creature that had made the unearthly sound. It was sooner that the apes had looked back at the moon, when the sea of shadows broke out. Literally, all Hell had broken loose. The Earth shivered as hundreds of thousands of Werewolves that had been biding their time underground, erupted out of the soil like thousands of geysers. As the Were-people, broke out of the Earth, they immediately went under a painful metamorphosis. As the creatures walked above the barren ground, the red light from the moon threw their features into relief. The Werewolves’ fur began to gristle with unimaginable anger and hatred; their nearly foot long fangs glistened in the moonlight, while their contaminated saliva dripped down their chins. The Werewolves’ blood-red eyes reflected the hue of the very moon itself, and as ape’s eyes met the one of a Werewolf, agony was personified in the bodies. The apes’ eyes rolled up, their contaminated bodies began to thrash, and one by one they transformed into their enemies. However, this only happened to the lucky ones, while ones that were little more unfortunate got ripped open alive. The massive horde of apes grunted and roared in fear trying to scatter, but to no use as they simply bumped into one another. The other apes tried to get the old, weak, and all the women out of the way, but all their meager efforts were in vain. Mere apes were no match for the creatures that cherished the Dark; hence, one by one, ape after ape fell to the ground; having seen, as their last sight, into the windows of the Underworld.5
They had avenged their leader and they began to howl for his forgiveness, hoping that he would hear them as far away he was; and so he did, from the moon he sent his blessing giving them the power to remain strong forever, even to remain strong in the New Moon. 6
From the prehistoric time when the Werewolves had seen the need to wipe out most of our ancestors, we journey to the modern times. Magic and Sorcery have become more complex since archaic periods, and so have the creatures that imbibe their powers from them. Now, hark! Hasten your mind to read the tale of a Werewolf who is trying to do achieve powers that are not within the grasp of any Were-being till this day.7
۞ ۞ ۞ ۞ ۞ ۞ ۞ ۞ ۞ ۞ ۞ ۞ ۞8
Nicholas Fang was hunting; though, this time for an object rather than a Mortal or another creature of the Night. His, already enormous, shadow was magnified due to the sunset; when it was very close to becoming night, when he would be one…with the full moon. As he leaped, on all fours, across the land of Nodredim, the intoxicating smell of white honey suckles that covered the border of the Bad Lands filled his nostrils. The full moon finally broke above the horizon. Nicholas’ ring, in which was embedded a moonstone, began to glow deep red; the shade of blood that has just come out of the flesh. Nicholas did not break his run as he began to transform under the light of midnight Sun. Muscles, like enormous waves, rippled beneath his skin, which was now sprouting long, bristly, black fur. His now-red eyes, having transformed before the rest of his face, seemed to be trying to pop out of its sockets, before the metamorphosis was complete. The size of his mouth extended to be able to make room for his growing fangs that gleamed in the silver light of the moon. Just in a few seconds he had come from being a mortal to a fully fledged Werewolf. Nicholas kept on sprinting, leaving huge paw prints in the earth, until he spotted a black flag with a symbol known to all Darke creatures.9
It was called the Twenty-One Suns, which was branded into every dark creature the by Nature, itself, the very first time they transformed. Nicholas leaped, covering the league, which separated him from the flag, in only a single bound. As his fur settled back on to his skin, Nicholas found out that he was not the only one who had caught sight of the Darke Flag. A Vampyre and a Gremlin had seen the symbol, also. If Nicholas had not been the dearest of friends, in both forms, with these two creatures, a devastating battle would have immediately issued. 10
Nicholas exchanged glances with the Vampyre and Gremlin, looking carefully into their eyes, but they did not writhe in unbearable agony, Nicholas nodded. A Vampyre was a creature, whose ancestor was the Vampire. Vampyres had inherited all of their predecessors’ powers, but had gained a few more. Unlike the relatives of their ancient dynasty, Vampyres could breathe Hellfire from their mouths, fingers, pores, and behind. Gremlins were another curious species. Why, they almost resembled over-sized grasshoppers, except their man-like faces, cat-like eyes, with slits, and other features that made them atypical from other creatures of the Night. They also had wings as big as they were, and they were always smoking long pipes with outlandish symbols carved into it. 11
The Vampyre, wearing a black cloak, was about to shake hands with Nicholas when he spotted the moonstone ring. His thin, red lips curved into something that resembled held a ghost of a smile, yet took the shape of a friendly leer. The gremlin, who was known as Tok, merely continued to smoke his pipe. To smoke rings floated out of the pipe, and began to resemble familiar shapes. One turned into a very detail sculpture of the Vampyre and other one, which began to look akin to a Werewolf, became Nicholas. In a few seconds, the Smoke-Vampyre that was hovering in the air started to glow an eerie blue and the light started to empty from the body of the Smoke-Vampyre into Nicholas. Nicholas observed this scene and turned to speak to the Vampyre, when Nicholas noticed that the latter’s face had gone stony. 12
Nicholas gave a gravelly chuckle, “No, no, Tok. It’s nothing like that.” 13
Tok stared at him, blankly, but his eyes were alive with malice and by the tightening of his muscles, it could be clearly seen that the Gremlin was alert for any sudden movements. Another smoke ring flew out of the Gremlin’s pipe and took the shape the ring that was in the Werewolf’s middle finger. The smoke lost its shape as a ring, but gained the one of the question mark. The Vampyre was paying close attention to every single event that occurred at this reunion. 14
“How I got it?” Nicholas began. “It is quite simple really. Don’t you remember the riddle, we solved last time? I mean the one we could make neither heads nor tails of.” The Vampyre nodded his, but his gaze informed Nicholas that he was deeply lost in thought. 15
“Apparently, you solved it? Am I right, Nicholas?” The Vampyre drawled, his long jet-black hair flying behind him, even though no wind was howling across this part of the Bad Lands. 16
“Quite, right, Dinstrum!” 17
“Now, let me reminisce. The riddle was-” The Dinstrum began, but was cut off by none other than Tok. 18
“The moon, made of souls, blazes in glory. Come solve this riddle; this peculiar story. Light parades when? The sun shines when? When, the basilisk hears the rooster crow? When? Then. That is your answer and the rhyme’s end.” Tok explained to the other two.19
“And the first thing that came to my head was the word: morning. Then I puzzled over the clue, when the real word was not morning, but mourning. The riddle had everything to do with Nature. So I began to think, ‘Where is Nature mourning?’ And the answer came to me. The Bad Lands. When I had poked my snout through every nook and cranny in the Bad Land’s borders, I found, in the middle of an Alchemy circle, this very moonstone ring; or as it is known to the Alchemists, Imbib Lunette, or Moon’s Power Leech. As Tok suspected, whatever creature my ring-arm comes into contact with, half of that creature’s strength becomes my own. But, there is no need to worry, Dinstrum. I will not try to leech the power out of either of you. It is just a tool to help us in our quest.” Nicholas finished. 20
“My dear friend, I have complete faith in you.” Dinstrum confided in Nicholas, but as he gave half-a-glance at Tok, he began, “But, can you prove it to us, Nicholas? Can you prove to use that you, truly, will not turn traitor. Will you do it, Nicholas? Will you give in, and perform the Cursed Oath?” The Vampyre spoke in a soft silky voice, with a casual attitude. If it had not been for their friendship, then and there, Nicholas would have, literally, turned tail. However, the situation was different and he obliged; being carefully watched by Tok’s unrevealing eyes, which held not round pupils, but cat-like slits. The unlikely trio sat down on the barren prairie land, holding each other hands, and them, when, they were all about recite the Thirteen Tribulations, a
spell so strong that Alchemy warned the user of the enchantment to beware at what they were putting at risk; Tok, surprisingly, spoke, once more. 21
“It is not necessary, anymore, Nicholas. Your deed is commendable, for you have gained my complete trust.” The Gremlin spoke no more, but on his pipe. As Nicolas and Dinstrum watched in awe, three smoke rings, flew out, rotation in a circular motion. They reminded Nicholas of the clouds in the blue sky that he so peacefully watched in the mornings. They were always going somewhere, led by the wind; always changing into amazing shapes when you least suspected them to. I wonder whose pipe there are puffed from, Nicholas thought. He would have liked to meet that entity, very much. The smoke rings condensed into what were: a Werewolf, a Vampyre, and a Gremlin. Curiously, the creatures than transmogrified into things that captured the appearance of a mundane worm; and the worms intertwined into a single mass. A blue light enveloped it, and it became a single creature, only to be dissolved into nothingness. 22
“What does that mean, Tok?” Dinstrum asked the Gremlin, who had also been watching his creations in silence. 23
“It does not have to mean anything, Dinstrum, and if it does…well, what can we can do besides trying to find out? Sometimes, I feel we may be a tad bit greater than the Mortals, who shun us, the creatures of the Night, due to a great amount of fear. The fear that inhabits their miniscule minds tells them of our strangeness, and abnormality. Yet, I feel, my dear friends that if we had not shunned those hopeless creatures, first, we may have had a better life. Sometimes, when I am smoking my pipe, I know that humans, being fearful of our abilities, shunned us; but why in the name of Luna, did we resent them? We were not weak.” Tok rambled on. Nicholas had never heard the Gremlin say so much in one sitting; this was truly, quite an experience. 24
“Have you ever thought about that, Nicholas” Tok croaked, which took Nicholas by surprise. 25
“Oh, yes! Quite, a lot.” Nicholas started to blather, but cut his prattle short when Tok looked at him, witheringly and started to shake his head. 26
“You do not need to lie to me, Nicholas.” Tok told the Werewolf, reproachfully. 27
“Ah, well, we might as well eat our dinner.” Another interesting ability that every single Gremlin possesses is that it can expand its mouth twice the size of its body, and store anything in their body, keeping the object in mint condition. Tok took the pipe out of his mouth, and opened his mouth as wide as could, and then he regurgitated five pounds of fresh meat. 28
“Dinstrum can take two and the same to you, Nicholas. I just need a single piece of meat to keep me alive.” Tok instructed the other two. They only hesitated for a moment, but then soon devoured their meal. Tok swallowed his whole. Dinstrum roasted his with Hellfire, and Nicholas tore his meat apart and to scavenge for the pieces that had gone flying. The moonlight gently lit the trio that was always alert, always separated from the rest of the world. The group stopped eating to stare at the beauty of the full moon, but then shuddered as if a bucket of ice cold water had been thrown on their faces. The same full moon, that was just as pure-white, ornate with craters, and a warm glow that worked like a night light in the sky; had given them misery, taken them away from humans, and had left them isolated in this very world. Nicholas howled to the moon, as the supernatural vagabonds left to move on to the city. A soft mist began to emerge from the ground, and a smell of clean air, of a new day began to infiltrate their senses. Liquid brushed against their fur. Tok look down, wondering where the flow of cool fluid sprung from. Plants, greener than a person about to spew sick all over the floor, were covering the land in which they stood. Their legs brushed against the dew that was escaping from the leaves and stem of the plants, and feeling of calm encased their minds, even though it was mixed with an ambiguous urge to sleep on the soft earth. However, they needed to move on. They need to solve
their Quest. The three beings looked up as the clouds, gently, began to part to make room for the sun. In few minutes, a metamorphosis would occur and they would become people with different minds, different bodies, but one thing would remain common between the bizarre cohorts. They would keep the same goal, albeit a different one then their numinous counterparts. Rays of sunlight leaked through the clouds, like a dripping faucet. Two thoughts flitted through the cryptic minds of the three friends: Dawn had begun and it was time to transform.
In a list
A contest entry
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What do you think?
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Interesting use of language, though you might loose some of your readers this way
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interesting story, good job, though in some places it seemed like you tried squeezing in big, impressive words that didnt fit, for example in paragraph 1 plethora,i think might be a bad word choice, though no a particularly impressive word.
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Alright, the first thing I noticed is a common mistake most writers tend to make. It is more of an unwritten rule that deals both with respect and grammar. Basicly you never capatilize the 'g' in god(s) unless reffering to the Biblical God. That is due to the fact that God is considered a name.
The second thing is that your paragraphs are tightly done and need a bit more spacing. It would help with the flow and probably attract more readers since the sentences wouldn't look jumbled together. It can be a pet peeve when staring at large bulks of text.
In paragraph 10 you have a typo.
You do not need a comma in the last sentence of paragraph 11.
"His thin, red lips curved into something that resembled held a ghost of a smile, yet took the shape of a friendly leer"
Resembled or held? Which one shall be picked!?
There is also a typo in this paragraph. (12)
Typo in paragraph 15.
Now that I pointed out most of the mistakes I found I will give you my opinion. It was a marvolous story with a great sense of unnaturality to it. You did a magnifecent job at portraying the very souls of your three abnormal characters. The backdrop on the werewolf seemed to lull and was found to be a little boring but it managed to keep my attention and interest. (I loved it when you called the apes idiots).
You have an idea for this story and you are doing a great job at turning it in to a story. So far, all this needs is a really good proof reading and a bit more detail to give it a kick!

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Thank you for your comment. I really enjoyed writing this story. It is actually one of my favorites. I really love the character Tok, who is teh Gremlin. I love his mysteriousness, and his magical pipe, and how it turns into his thoughts. I really like this paragraph: “It is not necessary, anymore, Nicholas. Your deed is commendable, for you have gained my complete trust.” The Gremlin spoke no more, but on his pipe. As Nicolas and Dinstrum watched in awe, three smoke rings, flew out, rotation in a circular motion. They reminded Nicholas of the clouds in the blue sky that he so peacefully watched in the mornings. They were always going somewhere, led by the wind; always changing into amazing shapes when you least suspected them to. I wonder whose pipe there are puffed from, Nicholas thought. He would have liked to meet that entity, very much. The smoke rings condensed into what were: a Werewolf, a Vampyre, and a Gremlin. Curiously, the creatures than transmogrified into things that captured the appearance of a mundane worm; and the worms intertwined into a single mass. A blue light enveloped it, and it became a single creature, only to be dissolved into nothingness.
I also like Dinstrum, who is a pretty good friend. Although, he has yet to show his Dark side.
I am almost done writing chapter two, and hope every likes it as much as this one. Thank you all!
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Great begining.
A Great start to a novel, very interesting start and plot. It is a little difficult to understand what is going on in the begining.
The prolauge was a helpful "history lesson" but i found it a bit lenghty.
Are you still 13 because thats a pretty complicated style of writting you've got going on. I found it to fit the sterotype of like someone who's like devoted half their lives to writing. Does this mean your "gifted" aka supa smart person? because your like dumbfounding me here.
Fix some paragraphing, you start a new one in the middle of a sentance, kind of annoying to me. This mybe just some converting errors or somthing.
In paragraph 30, the goblin Tok, i think says "...and if it does... well, we can only to find out? ... " Can only what? and it there was a "wait" supposed to be there, that still doesn't form a question. example of what i'm guessing it's supposed to be: "...and if it does...well, can we only wait to find out? ..." I don't know.
I really think you need to do more prof reading and editing. (yes i cannot spell). I did find the start of the story facinating, though i didn't really get into it, no offence, its just not my genre.
Good work.
1 - 5 of 5




