Cerastes (The Horned Serpent)

Today we burned the rose beside the poppies, and laid it on the big tree that lays just a bit above them. Then I watched Jack's dog outside as he channeled Cerastes, the Horned-Serpent and healing aspect of Snake. 1

Snake chided Jack kindly for asking him for aid again, though gave Jack the idea to give me Kratom as well as OC. He said today or tomorrow would be a good choice, and that we should see the Otherside soon. 2

Owing to the fact that I hadn't slept last night, and hadn't felt well, as my endorphins were obviously troughing, I was of course a little wary to do this. But, I thought about it for a while, and tried to listen to Horned-Snake, and I decided it was as good of a decision as any. 3

Jack had me go pick 2 leaves from his Kratom plants. I first blew cannabis smoke onto them, begging them an apology for doing this to them. I chose one leaf which wasn't in very good shape, with weathered, yellowness at its edges. The other I chose was rather small. Thus I was kind with my choice of leaves. The plants were pretty bare of leaves as it was--from Jack getting sick the month prior. 4

I let them rest in my mouth until they took effect. Then I swallowed the chunk of OC. I then grabbed my sketch book and sought to try to channel Cerastes. I was pretty tired, but I channeled something decent for the Serpent, that I'm sure he loved in dedication and all. I then drew manitou, Jack's dog, on the drawing, as well as Falling-Ever-After, a spirit that protects us who is of the wind, and who I've felt many times. He is a cat, so being a Lion I can feel him pretty well. I also drew Blood-in-the-Fog, and some glyphs representing Jack. Finally, I put Ganesha. 5

The whole time creating it, I doubted my ability and such. When I was done, we began the rite. I took a Tigers' Eye rock and put it in my mouth, along with a malachite one. Jack sharpened his knife, and this time he had a smaller one, a Xacto. 6

I grabbed the fetish wolf-skull of Blood-in-the-Fog, with the coyote faceskin on top. Along with his picture, we put my picture I'd drawn beside it, as well as the picture of Falling-Ever-After. I blew smoke repeatedly onto these pictures, especially asking Snake for help. 7

I clutched the crystal, along with a dragons' head with three litten incense on it. 8

Jack began the cutting. At first I was a bit tense, but as he went into my upper back, near the neck, he said, "Aha! Gotcha, bastard! Get out, get out, get out," with many quick short slashes down my spine. Then, a second less, he had it, and it was gone. I felt my back loosen up and I was so happy. He told me it was a bane, a little parasite.9

As the rite continued, I cried out, and asked Snake with all I could to help me. 10

I don't know the exact marks Jack made on my back, but it was much like being written on with glyphs. I could feel Snake working through Jack, especially in the fangy-ness of some of the cuts. Eventually, he opened up my Kundalini a little bit, and said he could feel the energy snap at him. He could also feel all the disgusting energy in me, oozing out horridly. I was apparently not aware of it as he was, but then again I was not aware of these things he calls Banes beforehand. 11

I felt much better. The energy flow in my back was much improved. He went to my front now, and put on my chest the mark of Lion and the mark of Snake. I felt gloriously decorated, and treated like something very special. 12

Now I was bleeding, and he asked me to put the crystal in Blood's mouth and begin straining and focusing all the bad energy out of me. I did so, as strongly as I could, until it seemed we were done. 13

Then, though, I pointed out the yuck I felt in my pectoralis major area. Jack began working his knife there, too, and said he could very specifically feel the yucky energy. That there was so much in me. 14

Then Jack told me to release my energy on him: whatever I had to do. I focused on my father, and I released angry energy, imagining I was returning everything he had done to me back to him. I struggled and strained and pushed and held harshly and hit until I was breathless and tired. 15

Jack began to cry; he couldn't believe so much of this bad energy had been put into me by other people. I broke down and cried against him, too. Some part of me would not move much further than realizing Jack cared about me, but I pushed the true parts of myself outside and Jack and I cried together for a while. I remembered all of the pain I had to go through, all of the yelling and screaming, and the complete lack of understanding of me. The image of him when I was so much younger, as if possessed by a demon, the Banes eating at his Christian Soul like nothing else. . .I saw my mom, everyone, all being consumed and eaten by these creatures of Corruption. 16

Once it was over, I sat back up angrily, trying to understand why entities like this had to exist, whose sole purpose was to feed on negative energy and focus who they are parasiting into giving them more and more of this energy and nothing more. Jack said he was just a little coyote, so for all he knew they may serve a purpose. 17

I wanted to know. I wanted to destroy them. "I hate them," I told him. 18

Only after we have stopped letting ourselves hurt do we peel away from our habits and realize just how much of ourselves was being lost. I was freed now, and open, and I wanted to keep myself here and never be feeling what I felt before. I considered that if on dextromethorphan, perhaps something terrible had gotten into me then. It would likely make sense; on that substance, I was completely opened, opened as far as I had been for the longest time. . .and open and weak for these predators, whose only knowledge is an eternal hunger to feed. 19

I laid back, and focused and tried to open my third eye, or at least allow my Kundalini to come out more. I ended up feeling Falling-Ever-After being right next to me, his energy this white light in my closed-eye vision. . . 20

A while later, Shannon came into my head, another Father-like figure who had decived my mother and I. Even more angrily this time, I thrashed about with Jack. I didn't like releasing this energy on him, but it did have to come out, and so it was. 21

I asked him what the parasite had been, that he'd gotten out of me--what it had looked like. He said it was something seen inside rather than with the eyes, and only very briefly. All he saw were trailing tendrils and grossness before it was torn out by himself and devoured by Blood. It made me very scared, to have had something like this in me for so long. I hated it, and I never wanted to be bothered by one ever again. 22

They still kept coming after me, though, as I could feel them, as they touched my mind. One big one, in fact, came to the room and had to be devoured by Blood-in-the-Fog. 23

Later, when we were trying to sleep, I was haunted by some sketches I had made in the past. They were of Banes, there was no doubt about it. I could not believe I had let them infect me, and I wondered what I had accomplished by drawing them on the page--probably to make them stronger. 24

I could feel what they felt like. I hated them. I can feel it now. I hate it. I want to become a Bane killer. I want to kill these things. I hate them. I want them to fear me, to run away at the very sight of me, for how long they have possessed me and made me so weak and how much of me they stole and just sucked and sucked and sucked. . .