Parasite

Spawned by the deep crevices of love, but never loved his self, he would lull through the days paranoid-to a psychotic state of mind. Slouching in his huge black over coat and phishing in his pocket for something not yet there, he attracted the sort of attention from people that often led them to create distance from him.1

Staring off into the crevices of the Manhatten sidewalks as if they were a series of cities unknown, one wonders many things about this man-of which none are true. Why is it that I should be so keen to introduce hims this way? Perhaps I feel it is necessary, or perhaps to me this is how he is known; for I lurk in his shadow like a nocturnal creature feeding on his essence-the sinful aura. 2

Yes it is true, I feed on his sin like a youthful child on a piece of candy. Oh yes I love it when he lies even more when he swears, for the more sin he commits the stronger my hold over him becomes until it becomes so strong it devours his immortal soul completely.3

I have made him do so many things, pleased my master in so many ways, that his soul is almost consumed by me. Ah I remember many things I've made him do, but the one I the recieved most reward from my master for was the reaping of the innocence of a young altar boy in the most influential cathloic church in New York City.4

In fact it was my first task that tied my to this man; that bound him to me. You see he had always had the urge to do it, but it wasn't until my spirit essence placed the sinful pictures of a bare boy child into the trash can behind his house for him to find, that he knew he could do it.5

That was the easiest task I had ever done, sure I whispered in his ear and egged him on; told him he could do it. However, that is not why my master was so pleased with me, for you see unlike the rest of my kind, I told him how to frame the higher priest of the church. So as his shadow I got him off the hook, a sinful man, and put an innocent holy man in prison; where he was later killed.6

I do love my job the only thing that can ruin me and my existance is the angel that warms his soul, but hey if your host is having as much fun as you why would your host listen to a little voice inside his head that may or may not be an angel?7

Boo yeah!8

You can't answer can you?9

He he I win!10

"why don't you stop for a second and look at yourself, do you like what you see? You were a good man once, you believed in the holy God, but now you have turned your back on him. You should make peace with your self and through that make peace with God. God has not abandoned you and if you listen he will answer your prayers."11

Pipe down you little pip squeak, he doesn't hear you and frankly you are annoying me with you talk bout forgiveness and stuff.12

"God is not your enemy and you know that, if you right what you have wronged and go back to him, he will accept you with open arms."13

Pleah! Open arms who is that pip squeak kidding? I'll tell you who no.........14

( A light shines on the man he seems to hear his heart speaking, the tiny voice inside his head is right and the shadow of sin falls off the man's shoulders and he runs following the light to the police station where he turns himself in.)15

"How is that for a pip squeak you dirty over coat?"16

Oh do you ever shut up, man I i might be glad that I lost his soul if you never open your squeakin mouth again; damn. Oh well there are plenty of other people out there; plenty more souls to take.

Author notes

yes i do watch too much television most not appropate for my age in some people's minds.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Olinda
    August 7
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    wow... philosophical!


  • ForestFaery
    June 10
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    you have a great ability to write work with it that stronger!

  • So young and yet so gifted beyond many your age, don't waste your amazing talent and keep writing!
    This story was magnificent, you seem quite intellectual and creative, don't lose that invaluable virtue!
    Excellent Story!

  • Hmm.

    So the demon inside the guy made him do it. The angel inside him made him turn himself into the police. I enjoyed the attitude of your demon.

    You have some typos and I believe you want aura instead of orah.

    This is rather the traditional good versus evil, but it is from the view point of your parasite.

    Thanks for entering 'For Writers Fourteen Or Under'

    Andy


  • Rhonin gold member
    May 18

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    brilliant piece of work. i must say, i am greatly impressed by your remarkable talent. at such a young age, you rival some of the best abilities i have seen across all ranges. you truly have a gift for the pen and it is my greatest wish to see you succeed in any way possible. if there is anything you need from me, do not hesitate to ask and i will do all i can to help.

    i find it strange that this is the first perfect score i have seen thus far. once again, congratulations, not enough good can be said about this piece.

  • You have a unique talent for one so young

    Hi William, thank you for entering the contest .

    You have a unique talent for one so young—ten is it?

    Apparently you have a devil and an angel fighting for a man’s soul. The devil was doing a pretty good job of winning. The odd thing is, you created an atmosphere of humor that diluted the disgust a reader would normally feel for the actions of the man. That’s why I said you had a unique talent.

    Humor is actually the most difficult mood to create; you have to be born with the ability. So I hope you capitalize on it .

    Now the other thing . I know you are young, but correcting our mistakes is the nasty part of writing. We all have to hunt our goofs and you do have a number of them.

    The ending was a pleasant surprise . The angel won.

    Geri

1 - 6 of 6