(And then, on the seventh day, God rested.)1
Kaleb braced himself on the bed to fight, but then a few moments went by, and nothing happened. Cautiously, he crawled over to the edge of the bed and peeked over where his step-dad had fallen. 2
Kaleb's jaw almost dropped. 3
He was just laying there- knocked out cold. 4
God must have really been watching over him. 5
(The bells toll for THEE, mom!)6
Quietly as he could, Kaleb got up and pulled his underwear on again. He hadn't noticed that he'd stopped crying until now. 7
He found his rosary on the floor next to the bed, not far from where his stepfather lay. All that was left on the wire was the cross and three beads, the rest of them were littered all over the floor. 8
Sighing, he set about to pick them all up as quickly as he could. 9
(Everyone turns towards the unmarked grave! Everyone turns!)10
He hadn't been counting them, but once he had two hands full of beads and no more were within sight, he scurried to his room and dropped them all on his bed, then turned back and closed the door behind him, making sure it was locked. 11
Shaking slightly from aftershock, Kaleb climbed quietly as a mouse onto his bed and sat in front of his broken rosary. It had been his hope, the only thing he had to hold onto....12
It took him a while, but after some time, he got all the beads back on. 13
The wire had been broken, but it was pliable enough so that if he took off one of the beads, there was enough room to twist it back together. Not wanting to get rid of the last bead, he pulled open the drawer on the bedside table and dropped it in, sure that he could find a use for it later. 14
He held up his handiwork in front of him. 15
It looked decent enough. 16
He turned it around so that the cross was facing away from him and hung it around his neck again. 17
Ah, but something.... wasn't the same. 18
He sighed. He'd known, deep inside, that it would probably be like that. 19
He lifted his hand to the cross and fingered it through force of habit. 20
Well, yes. It was broken. But it wasn't gone forever. 21
He could fix it.... over time. 22
(Amen)
Author notes
Title translates into "Redemption", obviously ^-^
Wanna see the cover? XD
http://s188.photobucket.com/albums/z130/Blue_Nails/?action=view¤t=DeusVoluntarius-Cover.jpg
cool, huh? ^-^
Major, Major, Major, Uber uber uberuberuber thanks to Sarah for helping me out with the ending. I love you and your uber helpful wonderful miraculousness XD
Also Sarah, thankyou for inspiring me to write it in the first place
Well, it's ended. *sigh* To tell the truth, I'm kind of sad. I hope you all liked the ending. I'll probably change it once or twice until I'm happy with it.
I really, really love this story. I really do. I finished pretty much all of it in one night, isn't that crazy? And to think, I actually didn't like it at first! I actually think this is the first semi-long story I've actually finished. Crazy, eh? Well, I'm glad I finished it, and I'm glad I liked it. Thank you for reading, and goodnight!
Comments are like food for the starving author *nom nom nom*
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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I've just finished reading this story (i'm too lazy to comment on all of your chaptrs!) And i've gotta say this was pretty good and captivating. A couple parts i didn't really like very well, but over all i thought it was nicely penned and very moving.
I can only hope this wasn't inspired by any events that happened in your life.
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Happy ending!!!!
*throws confetti everywhere*
Awwww, I was hoping this was going to be a happy ending!
Great Story!
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I love this story
i just thought you should know
you put so much emotion in to it and it really fits
it seems so real like, it's so driving and i also love the parenthesis
they are a great and personal touch
good story
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Ooh, the metaphor. It's awesome. Also, the cover's terrific, too.
I don't mind your chapters being short, because everything's necessary, nothing's boring, and I can get it all done before bedtime. Thanks for another awesome read.
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Oh my gosh!
I freaking LOVE this story!!! All the chapters=AMAZING!!!
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OH MAH GOONDESH!
I loved the ending. BRAVA! |Tears up| it's that thing in my eye again! GET IT OUT! Well anyways, that story was amazing. It was like I was holding my breath the whole time, but I COULD still type (as you can see.) It was like I let go of this breath I didn't even know I was holding on. Fantastic end to a fantastic stoey. great write, even better read...the list goes on. <3
♥`|Mel|`♥ <---I changed this thing, like, fifty billion times.
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This was a captivating ending. One that brang tears to my eyes. It was brilliantly written, capturing the light that hope was in the horizon. It was the fact that he had so much faith as to collect the beads and string them back together that made me cry.
You have done yourself proud my friend ~ and sarah whoever you are you have done him well...
Blair
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This was a lovely ending to such a terrific story. The whole thing flowed really well, and the style was consistent throughout every chapter. I really, really enjoyed this, and think that you did a fantastic job with it.
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.......
I am too shaken to even comment Alex. I wanted to leave it in the middle because it was too scary. The intensity. *faints*...Jeez. This story just sucked the life right outta me. It's so intense! Oh jeez! Oh jeez!
*faints again*
It was one of the most amazing stories I have ever read, Alex. You are truly, vey talented! Good Job!....
Oh wow!
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Oh wow, yea i definetely almost cried lol...
Fantastic job ^.^
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This was one of the most amazing stories I have ever read. You made me cry so hard throughout this series...you took my breath away with each and every word you wrote...
You have a great writing style and I hope you post more of your work!
BEST STORY EVER -
Beautiful story. I love it. You definatly kept my interest from the first chapter.
Amazing write.
~Jazzy
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I'm sad it's ended...I finally managed to read the rest of the chapters, because I swear you put them all up within 24 hours!!! Maybe you did...anyways, this is an absolutely fantastic write! I saw Chapter 1 make the home front page thing and was all "OMG! I READ THAT! YAAAAY!" This was fantastic. The end left me hanging a bit, because I'm wondering, "Is that it? What happens when the father wakes up? Is Kaleb finally saved?" I hate that there are all those unanswered questions, but I absolutely loved this story! It was an amazing write! Keep up the good work!
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Okay, I do not deserve such majoruberthankyouness. I gave you a TINY bit, and you turned it into the wonderfulness that is your writing. I really like the message of the ending. I mean, It's not the same, broken, not gone forever. I can't say 'it's very powerful' or 'very meaningful' again, I've said that for practically every other chapter, but fo rizz, this is great stuff. I'm also kind of sad that it's ended, but Kaleb's victory makes it great, though still somewhat bittersweet. Major applause on a piece well finished. *Stalks off to comment on previous chapters left neglected*
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O.O This was an awesome ending. ^_^ Kaleb finally got at least a little solitude. ^_^ Good job on the story. You kept me waiting for more. ^_^ Good job. Really really really good job. ^_^ Keep penning and I can't wait to read more from you.
Ice
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