Once upon a time. There was a girl named Teshannah. She was a young teen. She is 5'1 and has dirty blone hair and blue eyes. She always have a smile on her face. 1
She started dating this boy name Philip. He is 5'3 and he has dirty blone hair and blue eyes as well. He always know how to make Teshannah smile. Everytime they would talk they would have a good time. But they sometimes had there bad days but they never had to worry about it.2
They have a good friend who would always help them with there problems. Her name was Maria. She always love making her friends happy no matter what problems she had. So Teshannah and Philip would always be happy in the end . Cause Maria was always there when they would fall.3
Philip and Teshannah would always have Maria. They always counted on her but they didn't wanna worry her so much. They sometimes felt like they were taking advangte of me when they wasn't . They just needed some help and thats what Maria was there for. So they let her do her best always let her put a smile on there faces.4
One day Maria and Philip starting talking. So they give eachothr pet names to call eachother by. So Maria and Philip starts yelling out random names like "Chicken, Monkey Penguin" . So Maria starts calling Philip "sexyboy" and he smiles. Hes like I like that name so I will call you "sexybeast" and she would smile.5
Maria always try to keep Teshannah and Philip happy.She likes when they're happy and laughing. Teshannah and Philip are thankful they have a friend like Maria. They think they wouldn't know what to do if they didn't have Maria in there life. So they always try to keep Maria happy too because they're all best friends forever. 6
Comments
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The first sentence is a sentence fragment, the verb tenses change throughout the story. The last line of the first paragraph should be has not have, or if you're attempting to write this all in the past tense it should be had. Consistently throughout the story, 'there' should be their. Their shows ownership. It's hard to follow because of the changing verb tenses throughout, as well as various sentence fragments. Other than that, it seems promising.
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She realy don't care about the Gramer, And pluse she if she wanted to fix it then she would of, I think she was just to tired to fix any gramer. But yea It IS promising.
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^^ So true!!! =P Lol, Grate story Tinny bunny!!! ^^ Heh, Becoming a story wrighter I see!!! =D Beast of luck to ya!!! Hehe!!! I'm gaana right a story about you and Ryan. ;] Hehe
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