Kaleb shuffled quietly across the hall from the big bedroom and into his own room, shutting the door quietly behind him, making sure it didn't make any noise louder than a “click”. After carefully locking it, he leaned his back against it. 1
This time had not been any different from the other times. He had-2
(hung like Christ on Daddy's bed)3
-just laid there as usual, but over the years, he had learned not to scream as loudly. All it did was make his voice hoarse and his throat hurt, no one ever actually- 4
(came to help)5
-heard him, so why do it?6
He'd seen things like this on the television before, practically everyday, talking about women who were raped. It was only ever women who were raped. And he was no-7
(toy)8
-woman. Or girl. Well... maybe. He certainly didn't look like one. He didn't look like one naked, either. He'd-9
(SCREAMED BLOODY MURDER, because where was God?)10
-checked.11
Then why did his step-dad keep doing that to him? Couldn't he tell that Kaleb was a boy?12
Or maybe there was something wrong with him. Maybe the doctors had just called him a boy because they didn't know what to call him. Maybe he wasn't a girl or a boy, maybe he was-13
(just a toy that belongs in The Playroom) 14
-just a freak of nature, because only freaks of nature got treated like that. 15
He crawled over to his bed and lifted himself onto it, cringing and gritting his teeth from the lingering pain. He stared at the ceiling. There weren't any cracks in his ceiling shaped like crosses, just- 16
(so numb.)17
-a plain old ceiling.18
He sighed and laid on his stomach, resting his forehead on his hands. It must be getting a little late by now. Maybe nine-thirty or so... he should get some sleep. He had school on Monday. 19
Would he be able to go to school on Monday, or would he have to fake sick again because he couldn't-20
(find God)21
-walk?22
Whenever he limped, his teacher would ask him if he was alright, did he need to go to the nurse? And then he'd say, no, it's okay, I'm-23
(just a freak of nature.)24
-fine, my knees just act up a lot. 25
He hated lying. He really did.26
But it's-27
(tearing him apart)28
all he can do.
Author notes
meh.
Title really roughly translates into "[God Willing] - Boys and Girls".
Here's the link to chapter three.
http://storywrite.com/story/169310
Comments are like food for the starving author *nom nom nom*
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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D:
Oh man, I feel for the little guy. I'm, like, dying for him. I can't count how many times I went through this and fell out. I feel all weird and stuff because this story, it's, like, really getting to me. They way you describe Kaleb's feelings in this just suffocates me(in a good way.)This just keeps getting sadder. And I can't believe I got to this series so late. OFF TO THE NEXT ONE! |Marches off.|
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This was a great continuation of the previous chapter, and I thought it was very well written, and flowed very well. I like how you're vague with your characters- you don't give them a lot of detail, but somehow they still come across as being very well established. This was deep, and very nicely written. Great job!
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This really made me want to cry because it was just so sad...once again...
I don't know what to say...it was just so sad and made tears come to my eyes. I hate the fact we live in a world where such innocent people must suffer so horribly.
It does make me wonder sometimes where is this higher force everyone believes in so strongly?
It tears me up inside everytime I think about it...
Well written Alex. -
I need to read this when im not an ice block because I want to say so many things to you alex (sad times) couldnt help myself because your going to inspire me to write like this <3 I just really cannot handle it...in so many good ways..I want more I crave it like nothing I have ever hungered before..yet at the same time...god it cruels me to read
This is just another beauty, another tragic but yet unique tale.. (I LOVE IT)
I though it to be terrible questiong if he was a boy, a girl a freak of nature..it really dug deep, bacause I have oftern asked myself the same wuestion for the same reasons and others..... I wanted to know why it happened to me... was it because I was a woman, a scared vunrable woman or was it more that that
I loved it
touched me
don't stop
Love Blair
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i love how you have the little things saying other things. it is so cool and adds a different dimension to the story. i love how you developed this. i hope that you plan to continue this story. but if you don't it still makes a great short piece. great job!
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OMG.
Read the first part, and loved that. Read this part, and loved this!!! I really like this little series you've started and I definitely think you have to continue. It's sad and touching and it makes me want to reach out and give Kaleb a great big hug and save him from that awful pain he's in...I just hope to god /you/ aren't Kaleb! (I mean, you said it was based on a true story...) =\
Anyways, great write! I really liked this! It's sad, and touching, and powerful...absolutely fantastic! Fantabulous! Keep it up!
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O.O this is so so sad Lawliet. Keep penning. I really hope that Kaleb can find solitude away from his dad. The poor kid. My heart kept breaking as i read this. You really know how to draw someone into a story. Keep penning.
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